Behavior Flashcards
Behaviour : Refusal, not listening, saying no to things they usually like?
Feeling: frustrated, not heard / listened to
Needs : feelings validated, control over some smaller things
Behaviour : Asking the same question again and again and again
Feeling: anxious, unsure
Needs: connection, reassurance, more preparation
Behaviour: Acting wild, running around, jumping on the furniture
Feeling: overstimulated / excited
Needs : to move their body, go outside, put on some dance music to move energy
Behaviour : Aggressive pushing sibling, hitting
Feeling: overwhelmed, frustrated ,scared
Needs : a break, less stimulation, connection with parent, quiet area
The Secret Sauce to Trantrums:
Seeing the feeling, holding the boundary
+
Staying regulated
=
Ok, but mom is not going to give in
What to say instead of Hurry up?
We have only 10 mins
THINGS NOT TO DO DURING A TANTRUM
no lectures
don’t try using logic
no punishment
don’t invalidate feelings
Clingy kids mean?
Looking to feel safe.
Searching for Connection and attention.
Feeling BIG emotions that they do not understand
Experiencing fear and anxiety
What is the U.S.E METHOD?
• U - Understand the need beneath the behaviors.
S - Settle little storms before they become big meltdowns.
E - Equip kids with tools to manage their emotions.
5 questions that feel like hugs to your child:
- “Want the last bite?”
- “I have some ideas but what do
YOU think?” - “Want me to stay a little longer?”
- “Will you play with me?”
- “Do you need advice or for me to just listen?”
- Bonus: “I see you’re working hard on this. Do you need another moment?”
5 questions that feel like hugs to your child:
- “Want the last bite?”
- “I have some ideas but what do
YOU think?” - “Want me to stay a little longer?”
- “Will you play with me?”
- “Do you need advice or for me to just listen?”
- Bonus: “I see you’re working hard on this. Do you need another moment?”
5 Easy Ways to Maximize Quality Time With Kids
- Let your child pick the activity.
- Mimic what they’re doing.
- Take pictures or videos to save for later.
- Let loose!
- End on a positive note & share one specific thing you enjoyed the most
It’s OK to Say To Your Child:
- “Thanks for your input but this is my decision.”
2.”I know this is hard to hear but that’s the plan. It’s ok to feel upset about this. I get it.” - “I’m not in the good headspace right now.
Let’s come back to this in a moment.” - “That noise is too loud for my ears. You can either play that outside (or in your room) or choose something else to play with.”
- “That’s a good question. I’m going to take time to think about that and get back to you.”
- “This is not something I need your help with.
Thanks for offering, though.”
What happens when a children feel unheard?
Feeling unheard, as a child, often leads to challenges with yelling, later in life. Children who feel unheard, often end up struggling to control their voice volume, as adults, because they still feel no one is listening to them.
How to connect with a preschooler?
Give them positive attention:
putting your arm around them as they play,
making eye contact,
using caring facial expressions.
Play together: Make time to play dress-up, a game of imagination, or any other activity your kids enjoys.
