Anger

Question 1

Other words people use to describe their anger

Answer 1

People might not call it anger. We might label it as being upset, hurt, frustrated, troubled, or irritated.

Question 2

What is anger?

Answer 2

a whole-person response of negative moral judgment against perceived evil.

1. A response, not an emotion, force, or fluid
2. A whole person respone. Beleifs and motives play an active, formative role in this response
3. A response to some provoking stimuli, either current or past memory
4. A response to an offence, It is a moral judgement.

Answer 3

“anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment” (Matt 5:21–22 NIV; cf. 1 John 3:15).

Question 4

3 ways people express Anger

Answer 4

1. harsh words, hurtful or destructive actions

matthew 5:21-26

21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother[a] will be liable to judgment; whoever insults[b] his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell[c] of fire. 23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. 26 Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.[d]

2. Withdrawing, Distancing

Luke 15:28-29

28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.

3. Concealing, inwardly retaining angry thoughts and attittudes

Lev 19:17-18

17 “Do not nurse hatred in your heart for any of your relatives.[a] Confront people directly so you will not be held guilty for their sin.

18 “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against a fellow Israelite, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.

Question 5

3 marks of Rightious anger

Answer 5

1. A Response to Sin,
2. Focuses on God’s Kingdom
3. Expressed in godly, self-controlled way

Ungodly:

It doesn’t scream, rage uncontrollably, or wallow in self-pity. It doesn’t ignore, snub, or withdraw from people.

Godly ministry:
a). it defends the oppressed,
b). seeks justice for victims,
c.) rebukes transgressors,
d.) pursues repentance, reconciliation, and restoration.

Question 6

Jesus’s Righteous Anger Mark 3:1-6

Answer 6

Mark 3:1-6

3 Another time Jesus went into the synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there. 2 Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath. 3 Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, “Stand up in front of everyone.”
4 Then Jesus asked them, “Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?” But they remained silent.
5 He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored. 6 Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus.

In Mark 3:1–6 Jesus met a disabled man on a Sabbath day. The Pharisees opposed the Lord’s intention to heal him. In response, Jesus looked at them in anger

Note the three marks of righteous anger at work here:

(1) Jesus accurately perceived their sins of not loving the man and rejecting his own lordship over the Sabbath.

(2) Jesus didn’t take personal offense—think of the many ways the Jewish leaders lied to and about him, mocked him, called him a glutton and a drunkard, whipped him, beat him, pressed a crown of thorns on his head, and crucified him, yet he didn’t express anger. But here they opposed his ministry mission as God’s appointed Messiah (cf. 2:12, 27–28).

(3) Jesus maintained Spirit-given self-control. He kept his head, not venting rage. He didn’t need to storm off to regain composure. Instead, he did God’s will and healed the disabled man.

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Question 7

Jesus’s Righteous Anger

Answer 7

Mark 10:13-14

13 People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16 And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.

Jesus responded angrily to his own disciples who rebuked some parents who sought to have Jesus touch their children. Here we again see the marks of righteous anger:

(1) The disciples sinned by rebuking the children.

(2) Their action opposed God’s kingdom: “Let the little children come to me. Don’t stop them, because the kingdom of God belongs to such as these” (v. 14). Seeing such mistreatment against others, our Lord became indignant.

(3) Jesus’s anger didn’t derail his ministry. He took the children in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them. We could likewise analyze the righteous anger of others, like Jonathan or the psalmist noted above.

Question 8

Evaluating our Anger: Righteous or Sinful?

Answer 8

1. Did they sin against you, or did they merely violated your expectation and desires?

2.Did they hinder God’s agenda or yours?

3. Did you display Christlike grace, slef-control, and ministry? or did you lose control, pull away, or made matters worse?

Question 9

Our tendency to justify our unrighteous anger

Answer 9

Jonah 4: - Angry because God forgave the Ninivites

Ephesians 4:22 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;

Hebrews 3:13
13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.

James 3:14-15
14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.

Question 10

Why is outward “anger management” approaches insufficient?

Answer 10

Even if we could controll angry expressions with behavioral techniques it would not bring about the whole person Christlike change God wants, because it changes behaviour but not the heart, in other words it is pharasiacal

Matthew 23:24-26
25 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26 Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

Mathew 23:27-28
27 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. 28 In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

Question 11

Common causes people site for their anger

Answer 11

1 The Past: mistreatment, Bad Modeling, dysfunctional family of origin, abuse,abandonment. etc)

2. Present Failures by ohters (unmet needs, disapointed expectations, perceived, rights denied)
3. Situational Pressures: (work demands, parenting challenges, traffic)
4. Worldly influences (ungodly friends, social media lies, sinful cultrual trends)
5. The Devil (demons of anger)
6. Physical factors (
   diseae, injuries, imbalanced hormones, illegal drugs, fatigue, poor nutrition)

Question 12

How should counselors respond when people site their life situation as the cause for their anger?

Answer 12

These factors can exert enormous impact and be extremely hard to handle.

1. Caring counselors must listen compassionately, “weep with those who weep” (Rom 12:15),
2. reflect God’s tender care,
3. assure counselees this is not the way God originally designed the world to be,

4.and acknowledge the hardship they suffer.

5. not allowing them to excuse their anger or blame other people or events for it. But it also means giving them good news: “While you can’t blame your situation, you don’t need to! These factors don’t make you angry. You are not doomed or destined to anger. Even amid these very real hardships, you can learn to handle things in godly ways. Jesus did so and through his Word, his Spirit, and his church, you can too.”

Question 13

The true cause of Anger

Answer 13

James 4:1-3

4 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

The root of human anger is sinful desire

Basically, You cannot get what you want, so you are angry

It is only by examining our desires that we can understand our anger

Not every desire is evil, but even desire for good things can become sinful when they become selfish, inordinate, ruling desires or demands.

When a husbands desire for affection from his wife is not met, he responds in anger, instead of christlike love

Question 14

CBT Definition of Anger

Answer 14

as energy that arises when our expectations conflict with reality. It is energy to deal with this discrepancy. And our most important decision is what to do with this energy. Breaking anger into steps can enable us to recognize control, and give us more choices regarding both intervention and prevention

Question 15

NLP Definition of Anger

Answer 15

Anger is a result of having expectations; more often that not, unrealistic expectations. Hence Anger is triggered in a person when a situation or persona does not happen or behave according to the plan in one’s head.

Question 16

Question Stems for discovering Ruling Desires

Answer 16

1. If only I had ___________, I would be happy
2. What I desperately need is ______________.
3. I want a _____________, who ______________.
4. You must give me ________________, or I will be angry

Question 17

Matthew 26:39-42

Answer 17

39 He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

40 Then he returned to the disciples and found them asleep. He said to Peter, “Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour? 41 Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!”

42 Then Jesus left them a second time and prayed, “My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away[a] unless I drink it, your will be done.”

Question 18

Phillipians 4:11-13

Answer 18

11 Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. 12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ,[a] who gives me strength

Question 19

Psalm 27:10

Answer 19

Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.

Question 20

Habukak 3:17-19

Answer 20

17 Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
and there are no grapes on the vines;
even though the olive crop fails,
and the fields lie empty and barren;
even though the flocks die in the fields,
and the cattle barns are empty,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord!
I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength!
He makes me as surefooted as a deer,[a]
able to tread upon the heights.

Question 21

4 Step Process of Dealing with Anger

Answer 21

1. Recognize
2. Repent
3. Refocus
4. Replace

Question 22

4 R: Recognize

Answer 22

1. Identify the situation: Context, Triggers
2. Their Behaviour
3. Their Thoughts and Desires
4. How God wanted them to respond diffently

Question 23

4 R: Repent

Answer 23

1. Envy, Jealousy james 3:14-

James 3:14-16

14 But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. 15 For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. 16 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.

2. Ruling desires, including those expressed in Self-Centered Prayer

James 4:1-3

4 What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? 2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. 3 And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.

3. Spiritual Adultery, friendship with the world, living according to the worlds wisdom

James 4:4

4 You adulterers![a] Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God.

4. Participating with the Devil in what he wants to accomplish

James 4:7

So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you

5. PLaying God by judging others

Matthew 7:1-3

1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

James 4:11-12

11 Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters.[a] If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you. 12 God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor?

Mathew 5:22

22 But I say, if you are even angry with someone,[b] you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot,[c] you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone,[d] you are in danger of the fires of hell.[e]

Question 24

What does James 4:4 mean?

Answer 24

In the previous verses, James has been blunt: His readers have been living according to worldly wisdom. The wisdom of the world says that to be successful, we must do whatever it takes to get what we want out of life. We must provide for ourselves; nobody else is going to. We must be willing to fight for what we want.

The wisdom of heaven calls us to a far different approach: Christians should trust God to provide all the good we need. That’s what He does (James 1:17). And because we trust His love and goodness and power to provide, we don’t have to abuse each other to get what we want. Instead, we are free to obey Him. This means serving each other. It means meeting each other’s needs.

Because James’s readers were unwilling to trust God in this way, He now calls them adulteresses. He equates their choice to continue following the wisdom of world with the sin of a wife who sleeps with another man. Spiritually speaking, these Christians are cheating on God with the world.

James says something which should be obvious to us, but it’s not: We can’t be friends both with the world and with God. Worse, anyone who continues to be friends with the world is living as God’s enemy. It’s important to understand what James is not saying here: He is not saying Christians should never be friends with non-Christians. Nor is he saying that Christians should never engage their culture, or with the people they meet. That’s not what this passage is about.

James is clear: Christians who choose to continue to live according to the wisdom of the world, driven by envy and ambition, seeking what they want above all else, are not living as friends of God. They are living in adultery as God’s enemies.

Question 25

What does God promise to those who repent?

Answer 25

1. He gives greater Grace

Question 26

4 R: Refocus

Answer 26

On God, His Grace, Promises, and Provisions

1. Gives us grace, draws Near to us, and uplifts us

James 4 tells us that when we repent, God gives us GRACE, He Draws Near to us, and He uplifts us.

6 And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say,“God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble.”

8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.

2. Pardoning Grace

Hebrews 4:16

16 So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

3. Enabling Grace

2 Peter 1:3-4

3 By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. 4 And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.

4. Enables us to become Christlike, to speak words that edify and build up, show kindness and compassion, forgiving one another.

Ephesians 4:29-32

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Question 27

Is it enough to simply stop sinful behaviour?

Answer 27

No, one needs to both “put off” the old man, and put on “Christ”, meaning the behaviour needs to be replaced with Christlikeness.

Ephesians 4:17

17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking.

Colosians 3:8-10

8 But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. 9 Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. 10 Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him.

Question 28

4 R: 7 Replacement behaviours

Answer 28

1. Prayer, learning to ask God humbly, with a submissive heart, for good things we legitimately desire, without any demanding (Phil 4:6–7; Jas 4:3). *
2. Contentment, even if desired blessings don’t come and people don’t give us what we want (Phil 4:10–13).
3. Patience, forbearance, and forgiveness toward those who provoke us (Prov 19:11; Matt 18:21–35; Eph 4:1–2, 31–32; Col 3:12–14). *
4. Self-control when tempted to respond angrily (Gal 5:22–23; Prov 16:32; 25:28; 29:11).

5.Godly listening and godly speaking, learning to communicate in Christlike ways with those who tend to provoke us (Exod 2:23–25; Prov 12:18; 15:1; 18:13; Eph 4:29).

6. Biblical peacemaking and conflict resolution, learning to handle our conflicts in nonangry ways (Matt 5:9; Rom 12:18; Eph 4:3)
7. Christlike ministry toward those who sometimes deserve the opposite (Mark 10:45; John 13:1–5; Phil 2:1–4)

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Question 29

Replacement Behaviour: Prayer

Answer 29

learning to ask God humbly, with a submissive heart, for good things we legitimately desire, without any demanding

Phil 4:6-7
6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Jas 4:3
3 And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.

Question 30

Replacement Behaviour: Prayer God wont answer

Answer 30

1. When we don’t ask according to God’s will and purpose

1 Jn 5:14,
“Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15 And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.”

2. When we ask with wrong motives (to gain place, pleasure, power, and prestige)

Jas 4:3
3 And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.

Jeremiah 17:10
“I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.”

Proverbs 16:2
All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord.

1 Samuel 16:7
For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

3. When we are filled with pride

1 Peter 5:5-6
5 Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for “God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.” 6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,

Question 31

Replacement Behaviour: Contentment

Answer 31

even if desired blessings don’t come and people don’t give us what we want (Phil 4:10–13).

Phillipians 4:10-13

10 How I praise the Lord that you are concerned about me again. I know you have always been concerned for me, but you didn’t have the chance to help me. 11 Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. 12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ,[a] who gives me strength.

Question 32

Replacement Behaviour: Patience, Forbearance, and Forgiveness

Answer 32

Patience, forbearance, and forgiveness toward those who provoke us, we overlook their wrongs, and give them the grace they don’t deserve by showing them love, kindness, compassion, and mercy

Prov 19:11
Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.

Matt 18:21–35 - The unforgiving Servant

21 Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. 23 Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. 26 The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ 27 Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.

28 “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down [a]at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you [b]all.’ 30 And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. 31 So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. 32 Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. 33 Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ 34 And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.

35 “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother [c]his trespasses.”

Ephesians 4:31-32
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:1-2
4 Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. 2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

Colosians 3:12-14
12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.

Question 33

Replacement Behaviour: Self-Control

Answer 33

Self-control when tempted to respond angrily.

Gal 5:22–23
22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Prov 16:32
Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.

Prov 25:28
A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.

Prov29:11
Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.

James 1:20
20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Question 34

Replacement Behaviour: Christlike communication

Answer 34

Godly listening and godly speaking, learning to communicate in Christlike ways with those who tend to provoke us (Exod 2:23–25; Prov 12:18; 15:1; 18:13; Eph 4:29).

James 1:19-20
19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Exod 2:23-25
23 During that long period, the king of Egypt died. The Israelites groaned in their slavery and cried out, and their cry for help because of their slavery went up to God. 24 God heard their groaning and he remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac and with Jacob. 25 So God looked on the Israelites and was concerned about them.

Prov 12:18
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Prov 15:1
15 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Prov 18:13
13 To answer before listening — that is folly and shame.

Ephesians 4:29
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Question 35

Replacement Behaviour: Biblical Peacemaking

Answer 35

Biblical peacemaking and conflict resolution, learning to handle our conflicts in nonangry ways (Matt 5:9; Rom 12:18; Eph 4:3)

Mathew 5:9
9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

Romans 12:18
18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Eph 4:3
3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Question 36

Replacement Behaviour: Christlike Ministry to those who desere the opposite

Answer 36

*Christlike ministry toward those who sometimes deserve the opposite

Mark 10:45;
45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

John 13:1–5;
2 The evening meal was in progress, and the devil had already prompted Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. 3 Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4 so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5 After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

Phil 2:1–4
2 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Question 37

Difference between anger and bitterness

Answer 37

We typically think of anger as a response to a provoking incident, something someone says or does. But it’s possible for someone to sin so repeatedly or severely against a counselee that their anger is no longer related to an incident or two; rather, it is directed at the offender. The initial anger has settled down into bitterness—an opposition to that person. If anger responds to an event, bitterness responds to a person. And once a person reaches a point of bitterness, the offending person can do nothing right in their eyes. They even view with suspicion or cynicism any attempt to apologize, change, or make things right.

Question 38

Dealing Bitterness

Answer 38

Ultimately, only the gospel can teach and move us to do so.

Consider six gospel-driven truths God’s Spirit can use to help your counselee fight against bitterness:

1). The enormity of God’s love was displayed in the cross. Bitter believers forget the massive size of the sin debt God forgave them (Matt 18:21–35; Eph 4:32; Col 3:13).

2) We all desperately need God’s forgiveness. Bitter people essentially declare they don’t (Mark 11:25; Matt 6:12–15; 18:21–35).

3) Our ultimate need is God’s mercy. Bitter people essentially declare they don’t need God’s mercy on the day of judgment (Matt 5:7; Jas 2:13; Luke 6:36; Mic 6:8).

4) We must understand God’s role is not ours. Bitter people assume God’s role as judge and executioner (Jas 4:12; Rom 12:19; Gen 50:19).

5) There is a dual nature to an offender’s sin. Bitter people forget that an offender, as a sinner, is in one sense deceived and enslaved by sin (Luke 23:34; John 8:34; 1 Cor 2:7–8; Col 3:12–13).

6) We are fallible. Bitter people forget that they are capable of the same behavioral sins that hurt them; in fact, the same heart sins might already reside in them (Jer 17:9; 1 Cor 10:12; Prov 16:18; Heb 3:12–13).

Question 39

Why should we deal with anger

Answer 39

1. It destroyes physcial and spiritual health
2. It ruins relationships
3. It grieves God
4. It does not produce the righteiousness of God.