Act 3 - Judge Flashcards
Act 3
20 years.
20 years, Mr Payne. Do you have a pen to write that down?
In all my 20 years never have I seen such a circus in my courtroom as I’ve seen today.
And ordinarily I love a good circus. Legal acrobatics. Wild animals. A good dogfight. Growl growl (woof woof).
I hope that little lunch break in the cells gave you something to think about. Have you got anything to say for yourself.
I’ll let the truth speak for me, your honour.
Nice line Mr Payne. I hope that’s not the only thing you came up with over lunch.
Well let’s move things along, shall we. We’ve heard from Ms Jones - a delight as always.
And we’ve heard a little more than we’d like to from Mr Payne.
But there’s one person we haven’t heard much from. Accused - you’re up.
Yes, your honour.
Time for a little bit of cross examination. What a treat! Especially when Ms Jones takes the gloves off!
You said you wouldn’t!
Looks like she’s going full bulldog boys! Ms Jones - dinner has been served! [waves to mr Lavert]
and let’s not forget that jingle! (Jingle plays)
Not much of a laweyer, but boy can the man write a real ditty!
Your honour, defence counsel is coaching the witness.
Honestly at this stage, I don’t think it really matters. You’ve got him in the palm of your hands, Madam Procescutpr.
Go in for the kill!
…No further questions.
Your witness Mr Payne, and your funeral Mr Lavert.
Objection - the wtiness is coading his lawyer.
I don’t actually think there is any rule against that. Highly conventional. I like it! Carry on, Mr Payne.
Looks like a menu from lady laksa’s banging laksa truck?
The court will received this into evidence.
…non-refundable with no exceptions.
Wait, let me see that. Are you suggesting, Mr Payne, that Mr Klumph is not qualified to practice?
…The only thing my client is guilty of is a bloody good deal.
(clapping) Mr Payne, all of this time I thought you were full of shit. But turns out you are full of surprises too.
Your honour, I have a few points I’d like to make in reply
Can’t be bothered Madam Prosecutor. I’ll give you the next one.
Ballif, uncuff this man, I’m afraid the bulldog is going hungry today.
… pickleball ome and try night after this
What the heck is pickleball?
…See you there
See you [on] the Court, Ms Jones
Once again Payne, good show, you got some real uggets. Just see if you can stay out of the cells next time.
Court dismissed. Toodle dismissed. Toodle oo.
