Act 2 Flashcards

1
Q

VICTOR: Yeah… you gotta get up mighty early if you’re gonna
fool us.

A

HEATHER: (ENTERS LEFT.) Kids? Are you down— (Notices the PIRATES,
in terror.) —here?

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2
Q

CARRIE: As if you didn’t know.

A

HEATHER: Kids, you’ve got to listen to me.

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3
Q

LUPE: You can even smell the rum.

A

HEATHER: That’s because they’re real.

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4
Q

BLACKBEARD: Then we’ll knock some sense into ’em.

A

HEATHER: But if you hurt us, you might not find the treasure.

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5
Q

BONNY: Treasure! You know where the treasure be?

A

HEATHER: It’s worth a king’s ransom!

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6
Q

MARY: Gold? Jewels?

A

HEATHER: Even a few mutual funds.

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7
Q

PIRATES 1/2: (Menacing.) Aaaaaarrrrrrr!

A

HEATHER: (Nervous.) Now, let me go like a nice captain. I know
you’ve got good manners despite what the history books say.
(BLACKBEARD lets HEATHER go. To BONNY.) And please let
Victor go.

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8
Q

EMILY: Oh, Ms. Fairchild, you went to so much trouble to trick us.

A

HEATHER: This is no trick, Emily. I can’t explain it, but that’s Butch
Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and that’s Pancho Villa—

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9
Q

JOEL: Sayonara

A

HEATHER: And Calamity Jane. And they all know about Rufus
Ravenscroft’s treasure.

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10
Q

BONNY: Them’s fightin’ words, you two-bit cowpoke!

A

HEATHER: Kids! Let’s get out of here! (Leads JOEL, ROLF, EMILY, LUPE,
CARRIE and VICTOR OFF LEFT. The moment they’re gone, BUTCH
and BLACKBEARD, locked in hand to hand combat, FREEZE.)

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11
Q

JASPER: (As they EXIT.) On second thought, go ahead and shoot
us! (They’re gone. STUDENTS and HEATHER peek ONSTAGE, then
nervously ENTER LEFT.)

A

HEATHER: Looks like the coast is clear.

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12
Q

OEL: So, like you really haven’t set us up, Ms. Fairchild?

A

HEATHER: I wouldn’t even know how.

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13
Q

ROLF: But then what are these people doing running all over
the place?

A

HEATHER: Aunt Jolene thinks some kind of ancient spell is at
work. Look, all I know is nobody’s going to be happy until we
find the treasure.

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14
Q

CARRIE: But what are we looking for?

A

HEATHER: I don’t know, but I have a feeling we’ll know when we see
it. You guys go on. I’ll check through this stuff to see if there are
any clues. (JOEL, EMILY, CARRIE, VICTOR and LUPE EXIT LEFT. ROLF
moves to HEATHER.)

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15
Q

ROLF: Hot diggity! (EXITS LEFT.)

A

HEATHER: Thank you, Mr. Webster.

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16
Q

SKIP: Quite all right, Ms. Fairchild. You realize the effect you have on
the male species?

A

EATHER: I think you’re exaggerating.

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17
Q

SKIP: Not really. I just happen to be an expert on that subject.

A

HEATHER: There you go, knowing it all.

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18
Q

SKIP: One thing I don’t know is why you are still so mad over something
that happened five years ago.

A

HEATHER: You know what? I really hadn’t even thought about that
night for the past five years until I saw you again.

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19
Q

SKIP: Haven’t I changed?

A

HEATHER: You have, Mr. Webster. You’re so much… well, you know.

20
Q

SKIP: There’s another thing I don’t know.

A

HEATHER: (Teases.) Then I’m not going to tell you.

21
Q

SKIP: Can’t you forgive me?

A

HEATHER: What kind of girl do you think I am?

22
Q

SKIP: Kind, generous, intelligent, beautiful… and forgiving.

A

HEATHER: I’ll bet you say that to all the girls. (LIZZIE ENTERS RIGHT,
hatchet in hand. HEATHER screams and grabs onto SKIP. LIZZIE
pauses near them and laughs wickedly before she EXITS LEFT.) You
can let go of me now.

23
Q

SKIP: I can let go of you?

A

HEATHER: Yeah, um… (Moves away from him.) I… I just didn’t want
you to get hurt by that crazy lady.

24
Q

SKIP: Thanks. I feel a whole lot better. You can protect me whenever
you want.

A

HEATHER: Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

25
Q

SKIP: And next time, pick on somebody your own size!

A

HEATHER: Let’s hope there is no next time, partner. (PIRATES 1 and 2
crawl OFF LEFT quickly.)

26
Q

HENRY: Who’s this?

A

HEATHER: John Adams. Second President of the United States.
Mr. President.

27
Q

HEATHER: John Adams. Second President of the United States.
Mr. President.

A

HEATHER: Mr. Adams here was one of the founding fathers.

28
Q
A
29
Q

JULENE: Oh, Heather! Hurry!

A

HEATHER: What’s wrong?

30
Q

POLLY: You big galoots! (HEATHER and SKIP run ON LEFT. HEATHER
holds a box.)

A

HEATHER: Everybody! We found the treasure under some old books
in the break room closet!

31
Q

MARY: Doubloons? (HEATHER opens the box and pulls out a sealed jar
decorated with Egyptian artwork.)

A

HEATHER: It’s an Egyptian jar.

32
Q

PANCHO: I’ll just take this. (Grabs the jar from HEATHER.)

A

HEATHER: Hey!

33
Q

BUTCH: You’re a lyin’ snake in the grass.

A

HEATHER: Don’t you call Skip a snake in the grass! (Kicks BUTCH.)

34
Q

SUNDANCE: That there’s just paper.

A

HEATHER: What is it, Aunt Jolene?

35
Q

MADAME: That’s no treasure!

A

HEATHER: But it is! The Bill of Rights is the foundation of freedom.

36
Q

JOHN: Thank you. And for me, knowing that our work for freedom has
stood the test of time is knowledge I will always treasure

A

HEATHER: You sure you can’t stay? We have so much to learn
from you.

37
Q

VICTOR: No way! (HEATHER and SKIP ENTER LEFT.)

A

HEATHER: Everything okay in here?

38
Q

ROLF: Gosh, Ms. Fairchild, when you said we’d learn about history, we
had no idea what we were getting into.

A

HEATHER: Believe me, neither did I!

39
Q

KIP: Sounds like you’ve sparked some interest, Heather. It is okay if
I call you Heather again, isn’t it?

A

HEATHER: As long as I can call you Skip.

40
Q

SKIP: And maybe we can go out for dinner this weekend. Kind of a
rain check?

A

HEATHER: I don’t know. I’ve got a lot of papers to correct.

41
Q

CARRIE: Not if we don’t do our homework.

A

HEATHER: Are you blackmailing me?

42
Q

EMILY: Whatever works.

A

HEATHER: All right, Skip. It’s a date.

43
Q

JOLENE: Everyone all right?

A

HEATHER: It’s like nothing happened.

44
Q

JOLENE: We don’t have a Lizzie Borden.

A

HEATHER: But… but we saw her carrying an axe! (LIZZIE ENTERS LEFT
carrying her hatchet.)

45
Q

LIZZIE: Name’s not Lizzie. (Flips open a badge.) Agent Mavis McGruder,
special investigator for the IRS.

A

HEATHER: What were you doing here all this time?