Act 2 Flashcards
VICTOR: Yeah… you gotta get up mighty early if you’re gonna
fool us.
HEATHER: (ENTERS LEFT.) Kids? Are you down— (Notices the PIRATES,
in terror.) —here?
CARRIE: As if you didn’t know.
HEATHER: Kids, you’ve got to listen to me.
LUPE: You can even smell the rum.
HEATHER: That’s because they’re real.
BLACKBEARD: Then we’ll knock some sense into ’em.
HEATHER: But if you hurt us, you might not find the treasure.
BONNY: Treasure! You know where the treasure be?
HEATHER: It’s worth a king’s ransom!
MARY: Gold? Jewels?
HEATHER: Even a few mutual funds.
PIRATES 1/2: (Menacing.) Aaaaaarrrrrrr!
HEATHER: (Nervous.) Now, let me go like a nice captain. I know
you’ve got good manners despite what the history books say.
(BLACKBEARD lets HEATHER go. To BONNY.) And please let
Victor go.
EMILY: Oh, Ms. Fairchild, you went to so much trouble to trick us.
HEATHER: This is no trick, Emily. I can’t explain it, but that’s Butch
Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and that’s Pancho Villa—
JOEL: Sayonara
HEATHER: And Calamity Jane. And they all know about Rufus
Ravenscroft’s treasure.
BONNY: Them’s fightin’ words, you two-bit cowpoke!
HEATHER: Kids! Let’s get out of here! (Leads JOEL, ROLF, EMILY, LUPE,
CARRIE and VICTOR OFF LEFT. The moment they’re gone, BUTCH
and BLACKBEARD, locked in hand to hand combat, FREEZE.)
JASPER: (As they EXIT.) On second thought, go ahead and shoot
us! (They’re gone. STUDENTS and HEATHER peek ONSTAGE, then
nervously ENTER LEFT.)
HEATHER: Looks like the coast is clear.
OEL: So, like you really haven’t set us up, Ms. Fairchild?
HEATHER: I wouldn’t even know how.
ROLF: But then what are these people doing running all over
the place?
HEATHER: Aunt Jolene thinks some kind of ancient spell is at
work. Look, all I know is nobody’s going to be happy until we
find the treasure.
CARRIE: But what are we looking for?
HEATHER: I don’t know, but I have a feeling we’ll know when we see
it. You guys go on. I’ll check through this stuff to see if there are
any clues. (JOEL, EMILY, CARRIE, VICTOR and LUPE EXIT LEFT. ROLF
moves to HEATHER.)
ROLF: Hot diggity! (EXITS LEFT.)
HEATHER: Thank you, Mr. Webster.
SKIP: Quite all right, Ms. Fairchild. You realize the effect you have on
the male species?
EATHER: I think you’re exaggerating.
SKIP: Not really. I just happen to be an expert on that subject.
HEATHER: There you go, knowing it all.
SKIP: One thing I don’t know is why you are still so mad over something
that happened five years ago.
HEATHER: You know what? I really hadn’t even thought about that
night for the past five years until I saw you again.