Act 1 Scene 2

Question 1

SHELBY: Never better. (Clairee Enters)

Answer 1

CLAIREE: My annual pecan tassies!

Question 2

TRUVY: There’s my girl. I guess you’re the happy one this morning.

Answer 2

CLAIREE: Yes, I am. First state championship in eight years!

Question 3

SHELBY: You sound awful, Miss Clairee!

Answer 3

CLAIREE: Hello, darling!

Question 4

SHELBY: Can I get you some tea?

Answer 4

CLAIREE: Yes, that would be nice. I’m sorry I’m late. I overslept. We didn’t get back into town until one o’clock. It was a dazzling victory over Dry Prong.

Question 5

SHELBY: What were you doing on the radio?

Answer 5

CLAIREE: They let me be the color announcer for the Devils. I was fabulous. I was too colorful for words.

Question 6

SHELBY: That was nice of them to let you talk on the radio.

Answer 6

CLAIREE: Nice nothing. I own the radio station.

Question 7

Shelby: Oh! You bought it?

Answer 7

CLAIREE: Yes!! KPPD. The station of choice in Chinquapin Parish!

Question 8

SHELBY: It makes you look younger, Miss Clairee.

Answer 8

CLAIREE: My hair looks younger. My face looks just as old.

Question 9

SHELBY: Who’s Miss Merry Christmas this year?

Answer 9

CLAIREE: My niece, Nancy Beth, of course.

Question 10

Shelby: Why did I have to ask? I should have known. All you Marmillions are gorgeous. Beauty is genetic in your family.

Answer 10

CLAIREE: Nancy Beth is a pretty girl. Do you know she is Miss Merry Christmas, Miss Soybean, and Miss Watermelon?

Question 11

TRUVY: But dumb as a post.

Answer 11

CLAIREE: Empty is the head that wears the crown.

Question 12

SHELBY: I should’ve won Miss Merry Christmas the year I ran. My talent was very showy.

Answer 12

CLAIREE: We told you at the time, Shelby. Fire batons are not everyone’s cup of tea.

Question 13

SHELBY: Who got the title your year, Miss Clairee.

Answer 13

CLAIREE: Oh, child. Nobody. There wasn’t even a Christmas festival when I was in high school. Why Jesus wasn’t even born until I was a junior in college. I remember it distinctly. My friends and I were all out watching our flocks by night…

Question 14

OUISER: The parade doesn’t even start for four hours and already people are parking on my lawn. It will flatten my grass.

Answer 14

CLAIREE: Here. Let me hold you.

Question 15

OUISER: I just finished putting out my yard decorations.

Answer 15

CLAIREE: Ouiser. Keep off the grass signs are not Christmas decorations.

Question 16

TRUVY: That is Rhett! I didn’t recognize him.

Answer 16

CLAIREE: It’s nice to see Rhett with some hair again.

Question 17

SHELBY: Owen Jenkins.
OUISER: Oh.

Answer 17

CLAIREE: Owen? Now there’s a blast from the past.

Question 18

SHELBY: He doesn’t now. He hardly has any hair anywhere.

Answer 18

CLAIREE: Owen’s been gone from Chinquapin since God was a boy. I’d forgotten he’d ever existed.

Question 19

OUISER: Shelby. I managed in just a few decades to marry the two most worthless men in the universe and proceed to have the three most ungrateful children ever conceived. The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God. I am not about to open a new can of worms.

Answer 19

CLAIREE: Do I detect a negativity in your tone?

Question 20

TRUVY: I could shoot you. I haven’t even started.

Answer 20

CLAIREE: Please. I haven’t even washed the dishes from Thanksgiving.

Question 21

M’LYNN: She wants this so badly. I just don’t know…

Answer 21

CLAIREE: Oh boy…

Question 22

ANNELLE: It will all be fine.

Answer 22

CLAIREE: Of course it will.