Act 1 lines - Scene 8-12 Flashcards
Scene 7
Come, Beineke - let me show you the moat. Did you bring a bathing suit? Never mind let’s be crazy.
sfx
Scene 8
And this is Cousin Helga from Baden-Baden
ALICE: Who’s that looking over her shoulder?
Oh no. That’s her other head.
ALICE: She has two heads?
Well, you know what they say
(MORTICIA and ALICE share a laugh)
ALICE: And who’s that man in the dress?
Oh. That’s Aunt Herman. Wednesday’s uncle.
And here’s Gomez and me, at our wedding.
MORTICIA: Oh. That’s Aunt Herman. Wednesday’s uncle.
And here’s Gomez and me, at our wedding.
ALICE: What’s that?
Our wedding vows.
That’s so romantic. “We promise to tango at least three times a week,”
For passion.
“We promise to tell each other everything.”
For truth.
ALICE: Everything?
Of course.
ALICE: And you’re still married?
More than ever.
ALICE: Boy it sure doesn’t work that way in our house.
How does it work?
ALICE: Well what’s good for the gander is a nice quiet goose; if I told Mal my secrets, all heck would break loose.
Alice, I’m shocked. What kind of marriage is it where you keep secrets?
WEDNESDAY: We found each other. It’s kind of a miracle.
Gomez!
WEDNESDAY: Daddy, you promised after dinner.
What were the three of you whispering about?
GOMEZ: Come, Lucas. I should you the most. Did you ever see a rat as big as a dachshund?
LUCAS: No sir.
Gomez.
What’s going on?
Nothing. We were just talking.
That wasn’t talking, that was conspiring.
No, it was talking! Conspiring is-
That’s what you were doing!
Querida stop this foolishness.
You’re keeping something from me.
Querida, I have never kept anything from you, and may lightening strike me where I stand if I am keeping anything from you now.
That it should come to this.
Here, Cara. I have an urge to take you in my arms.
No Gomez
GOMEZ: Here, Cara. I have an urge to take you in my arms.
MORTICIA: No Gomez
GOMEZ: What?
Not today.
But you’ve never turned down a trip to heaven
Not today. I’ll be in my room waiting until you’re ready to share, like a proper husband.
… “Keep it pink in the middle, a little crispy on the outside”
Thank you dear. And now it’s time to play The Game.
GOME: Cara maybe the game is a bad idea.
WEDNESDAY: Thank you daddy
No it’s a good idea. And if it isn’t then somebody will be sleeping on the couch for a very long time.
ALICE: Oh! Spanish! What does it mean?
“Full Disclosure”
Exactly. Everyone sips from the sacred family chalice -
And confesses a secret they’ve never told anyone
Loosely based on the inquisition.
And you have to absolutely tell the truth.
MORT: And you have to absolutely tell the truth.
ALICE: Or what?
Or there are consequences.
ALICE: Oh no, no no no no.
And now Gomez will break the ice. My husband has something he needs to disclose.
No, no, the host goes last.
Lurch, the sacred chalice!
….. Full Disclosure.
Well we’ll just have to come back to you won’t we? Wednesdays turn.
FESTER: I… am in love
Awww!
You’re probably, what could a fat bald person no specific gender know about love? But I, too am in love. Fester loves!
Oh Fester - who is it?
