A Daily Diet of Shared Uplifts: Why What and How

Question 1

What do I mean when I talk about a shared uplift?

Answer 1

Don’t get the wrong impression–a shared uplift is not as big an uplift say, as dancing, or going to a party. Get ready to hear about the value of slight uplifts, small uplifts–not big ones. In big and small adventures, big adventure maybe is trying a restaurant in a new part of town, and a small adventure is changing out a photo in a frame, or taking a new way home. Small shared uplift is the equivalent of a small adventure: small. My daughter thought important that I makes this clear at the start.

Question 2

Who is the researcher most known for recommending a daily diet of shared uplifts?

Answer 2

Barbara Fredrickson.
1. She is one of the world’s leading authorities on positive psychology and the value of “micro-moments of connection.”
2. her new book is titledLove 2.0: how our supreme emotion affects everything we feel, think, do and become, and tries to show that love for others - all others - can be consciously cultivated and applied in every sphere of life.
3. She came up with ten most common positive emotions that we encounter most often in daily life

Question 3

What are the ten most common positive emotions we come upon in daily life, according to Barbara Fredrickson

Answer 3

1. joy, 2.gratitude , 3.serenity (curiosity), 4.interest, 5. hope , 6. pride, 7. amusement, 8.inspiration 9.awe.10. love. –are the ones people feel most frequently in daily life.

Question 4

What is one very important thing to keep in mind about emotions?

Fleeting

Answer 4

That they are fleeting. This is why they escaped the attention of scientists for so long.14:43:46
Emotions, last on the order of seconds, they rise up like a wave, and then they dissipate.
That’s what emotions do it’s nothing wrong with us.14:43:58
Emotions are part of human experience that that by design is fleeting (because they help us orient to important aspects of our current circumstances.)14:44:16 - no emotion is designed to last

Question 5

When thinking of emotions, picture this image.

Answer 5

Wave
- no emotion is designed to last
- emotions are our responses to circumstances
- and if we try to have non-stop joy, it isn’t fitting our circumstances
- what seems to matter is the frequency of mild waves of positivity
- not their duration
- not their intensity
- so we need to think of them as micro-moments

Question 6

What is the second important thing to keep in mind about emotions?

Embodied

Answer 6

The other thing that’s important to recognize about emotions is that they’re not just thoughts that roll around our minds. Emotions are embodied thoughts energized thoughts or de energized.14:44:31 So it’s that they are a mind and body experience in combination.

Question 7

What does it mean that emotions are embodied thoughts that are energized or de-energized

Answer 7

Researchers made a representation of people’s responses to a survey about where in their bodies, they feel energized or de energized, when they feel different specific emotional states. For the image, where people felt energized were marked in orange and yellow, and where they felt de-energized was marked in blue.

Question 8

So what might these energized or de-energized thoughts located in our bodies look like for different emotional states?

Answer 8

In sadness, the limbs become kind of a liability they’re just a source of Sluggishness; and in the energy, experiences, in happiness upper torso and face, and in anger, upper torso, hands and face are really energized.

Question 9

What are the four main points about emotions.

Answer 9

1. there’s no emotion scientists who will say, positive emotions are good and negative emotions are bad, all emotions are useful in the right circumstance. One can identify 10 positive ones most frequent in daily life- All emotions are valuable: it is not that positive are good and negative are bad; all useful

there’s no emotion scientists who will say, positive emotions are good and negative emotions are bad, all emotions are useful in the right circumstance
2. Emotions are fleeting
3. Emotions are embodied
4. Emotions open up our brain

Question 10

What is the third important thing about emotions?
Changes our brain

Answer 10

The 3rd important thing is emotions fundamentally change how our brain works; it opens our brain

Question 11

What does this mean that emotions change how our brain works and open our brain?

Answer 11

Positive emotions, even though they’re fleeting, are really consequential to many aspects of well being and learning and creativity because they open our brain.

Question 12

If emotions are so important to opening up our brain, should we worry about them not lasting?

Answer 12

We shouldn’t worry about positive emotions not lasting; what we should worry about is how to recreate positive emotions more frequently.14:47:25. And this is where the importance of a daily diet of shared uplifts comes in.

Question 13

Why is the frequency of even mild positive emotions important?

Answer 13

Emotions are really consequential to many aspects of well being and learning and creativity, but because they’re fleeting, we need to focus on recreating positive emotions with frequency. Importantly, even mild positive emotions can fill this role, we’re talking about little uplifts–such as feeling grateful or inspired, not, you know, your wedding day or the birth of your child.

Question 14

To get the benefits of positive emotions, wouldn’t it be best to seek out peek experiences?

Answer 14

Interestingly, we don’t need to seek out “peak experiences” To get the many benefits of positive emotions.
Just everyday experiences of a recurrence of pleasant emotions functions as a nutrient for growth.

Question 15

Why do we need a daily diet? Wouldn’t it be okay to just do something fun on the weekend?

Answer 15

So just like eating your fruits and vegetables, is something that you need to have a regular daily diet of in order to contribute to health, our positive emotions work the same way like having, you know, one experience of gratitude, a week, or one experience14:48:11
of amusement on the weekend is not enough to keep us healthy, in terms of supporting our mental and physical health. We need a rich daily diet, have a wide range of positive emotions. We need the skills for learning how to self generate contextually

Question 16

Why again do we need these in a daily way? I know you said they open up your brain and are important for learning and creativity–but could you say more?

Answer 16

Having authentic positive emotions in daily life is important because doing so puts us on trajectories of growth, so that we can become our best selves. Our most resilient selves.14:48:53
Our most connected to community selves.

Question 17

What is a visual for these small or mild fleeting moments of positive emotions and what they do?

Answer 17

Barbara Fredrickson likes to call these small fleeting moments of positive emotions “tiny engines of all of positive psychology because they drive upward spirals; there is evidence that these fleeting moments of positivity create dynamics that create other sources of good, not just in ourselves, but also in our relationships, and also in our communities. The drive our brain. They open our brain.

Question 18

What is one key evidence that these fleeting moments drive upward spirals?

resilience

Answer 18

Evidence shows that day-to day positive experiences grow our resilience; day-to-day positive emotions also predict resilience.
If you have more resilience, you’re more satisfied with life because resilience helps you deal with the ups and downs of life.

Part of the way to stay resilient is to be able to self-generate positive emotions that can sit side by side with the negative ones, not eclipsing them but helping to make us whole.

Question 19

What is another example of evidence that fleeting positive moments can help drive upward spirals

Answer 19

So, feeling good about your life doesn’t just come that way. Feeling that life is good –that I wouldn’t change much about my life– people don’t come to feel that way just by snapping their fingers; it’s through experiences of being able to manage day-to-day demands.matter of not being consumed by problems; it is a matter of not being consumed by problems, by keeping positive and negative next to one another

Question 20

Are some emotions more valuable than others?

Answer 20

Emotion researchers are really famous for being very Democratic that all emotions are valuable, there’s no emotion scientists who will say, positive emotions are good and negative emotions are bad, all emotions are useful in the right circumstance, But, Barbara Fredrickson came to realize that maybe
there is one positive emotion that’s more contributes more to these upward spirals and broaden and build cycles than other positive emotions

Question 21

Should we seek out certain emotions?

Answer 21

there is one positive emotion that’s more contributes more to these upward spirals and broaden and build cycles than other positive emotions. and maybe there’s one positive emotion that kind of functions as a super food.If all positive emotions are our nutrients, well there’s some foods that provide much bigger and more potent nutrients than others.14:54:11
And that is this Co experienced positive emotion, a state that I call positivity resonance.

Question 22

What is the emotion that provides bigger and more potent nutrients that the others?

Answer 22

there is one positive emotion that’s more contributes more to these upward spirals and broaden and build cycles than other positive emotions. and maybe there’s one positive emotion that kind of functions as a super food.If all positive emotions are our nutrients, well there’s some foods that provide much bigger and more potent nutrients than others.14:54:11
And that is this Co-experienced positive emotion, a state that I call positivity resonance.

Question 23

What are some examples of positivity resonance or co-experienced positive emotion so that yo can picture it?

Answer 23

It could be laughing with a friend or with a child could be celebrating a success with a with a colleague or Co worker. holding a neighbor in compassion (but when your suffering is seen by another person, there is a thread of positivity in that, because we feel seen; and if you are one to see and hold somebody else’s suffering-that actually feels good, because it means we are able to offer something—so there is a thread of positivity in a compassion moment). the cleanest example is smiling at a baby—it is attuned; if you smile too sharply, that baby is going to cry. there is a dance of connection —like fertilizer for helathy growth for kids—and can tell because of studies of having depressed caregivers.; depressed caregivers don’t mimic the faces of the babies-and less likely to get in shared positive space.
it’s not a rarefied experience; it’s a common everyday experience

Question 24

Why is the co-experienced positive emotions so important and powerful?

Answer 24

Think of positivity resonance as the smallest building block of love; definition of love.

Love and Connection Exist in Micro-Moments

Question 25

How could this co experienced positive emotion be the building block of love?

Answer 25

-So, mutual perceived responsiveness is viewed by relationship scientists as the hallmark of intimacy– or the hallmark of close supportive relationships; You feel understood validated and cared.

There’s something unique and important about those momentary states where we feel oriented towards one another in a caring way.15:01:13

Emotion scientists know that the state doesn’t last, and also that it has these mind-body experiences, it isn’t just a concept.

When these moments accumulate and compound over time, that creates longstanding resources.

So by suggesting that you plan a daily diet, I’m asking people to turn their eyes a little earlier to those moments that build those resources.

Love 2.0-maybe love isn’t long and intense love relationship that is the only way to think about love; I think we can also think about these short-lived, energized moments as the momentary building block of the other bonded relationships and also of health and well-being in our community.

Question 26

What is the formal definition of positivity resonance

Answer 26

it’s an interpersonally-situated experience marked by a momentary increase in three things that are kind of braided together: 1) There’s an experiential component which is shared positive effect. 2) There’s a caring nonverbal synchrony people start to move at the same rhythm.15:02:57
Maybe smile mutually kind of leaning towards one another. 3)There’s also biological synchrony. And we found that this is actually People’s biology physiology becomes more in sync when they share a positive emotion than when they share a negative emotion.

These emotions can be intertwined with sadness or struggle—the support

Question 27

What is the longterm effect of having a steady diet of these moments of positivity resonance?

Answer 27

Over time, having more of these mild moments builds social bonds and trust.15:03:39 The emotions of these moments can be fleeting, but having a steady diet of these moments of positivity resonance, over time, builds in body and rapport a sense of chemistry or like we really clicked; it builds a connection and social bond. 15:03:37

Question 28

How does this strengthen the fabric of community?

Answer 28

The moments of co-experienced positivity create a recipe for increasing trust building bonds and building trust which ten strengthens the fabric of community.

The roots of my work come from evolutionary psychology, so I’m trying to describe experiences that are often called out as ineffable, spiritual or transcendent and say well actually, these are products of our emotions. They are what we experience when we connect, a positive emotion that’s rolling through two brains and bodies at once. It’s a powerful, uplifting feeling and it turns out to be extraordinarily healthy. But the benefits accrue not just to one person’s health but to the health of communities, and that is where it connects really well to your idea of social transformation.

Question 29

How does one plan for this daily diet of positivity resonance?

Answer 29

The goal for these moments is that they be not intense; but renewable.
Plan your day with these micro-interventions.
And plan when, where and how

Question 30

What is a visual for planning these micro-moments?

Answer 30

Think trail of little lights—and that is what I provide to you here. BF got interested in trying to find more practical ways to bring this, these ideas about learning how to better self- generate positive emotions and positive connections into daily life.15:19:18 so micro intervention talk

Question 31

Nuts and Bolts of Planning Micro-Interventions; micro-moments of connection

Answer 31

1. goal not intense, but renewable

Question 32

What is one concrete way to plan for micro-interventions?

Answer 32

1) Putting away the phone to have possibility of connection with weak ties
The quality of our micro-moments with strangers and acquaintences are a better predictor of our end-of-day mental health than the quality of connection with people in our inner circle. So weak ties end up being particularly important

(try to go for humor?)

these little moments create little tune ups for our heart and create better cardiovascular funcitoning.
2) Face-to-face communication allows for eye-contact, touch and shared voice in a way that texting can’t.

Question 33

What is another way to get the co-experienced micro-moment, the smallest unit of love.

Answer 33

2. try to get body in sinc-eye contact, touch, shared voice. Be aware of the instinct to mimic a smile or lean in physically.

2) Face-to-face communication allows for eye-contact, touch and shared voice in a way that texting can’t.

Behaviora Synchrony—the way the non-verbal language gets aligned and they move at the same tempo-that level behavioral synchrony will predict how much they said they really clicked. —embodied rapport— is key piece of early friendships

Question 34

Again, why are these micro-moments of connection so important?

Answer 34

sometimes overlooked
fredrickson thinks is a crucial ingredient to human well-being
these micro moments of connection are really vital to what we humans need to survive and thrive.
need to think a health behavior like eating vegetables or getting physical activity

Question 35

What is Love 2.0? *

Answer 35

Love 2.0-maybe love isn’t long and intense love relationship that is the only way to think about love; I think we can also think about these short-lived, energized moments as the momentary building block of the other bonded relationships and also of health and well-being in our community.

Question 36

When we have a positive momentary moment, it fundamentally changes how our brain works (individual effect)

Answer 36

When we have a momentary moment, it fundamentally changes how our brain works. - brain imaging shows this, eye tracking studies shows this:
- the boundaries of our awareness expand.
- we literally see more in our periphery
- when we are able to see more, take more in, we are able to integrate ideas in a broader way and it unlocks creativity.
- that is a Temoporary effect -as temporary as the uplifted feeling
- but it matters because little by little it nourishes our growth.
- in the same way that fruits and vegetables nourish growth, so do our day to day experiences of positive emotions—having more and more of these broad and possible mindsets.
- creates opportunities to —resilience, connections, physical health
- positive emotions are nature’s way of making sure we develop and become more resourceful over time.

Question 37

Positive Emotions Unlock Other-Focused Thinking (effect on individual)

Answer 37

• Often we can be wrapped up in self-absorbtion
  
  • positive emotions break that-like, oh there are other people here;
  • so you begin to have experiences that are more inter-woven with others
    
    • When people experience positive emotions on a regular basis, they are more likely to think “More “we.” Less “me. “; as opposed to me vs. you.

Question 38

All positive emotions are nutrients for growth; She sees now evidence in the data to suggest that these co-experienced positive emotions are like super foods.

Answer 38

• that there may be some positive emotions that nourish the body, and our health and well-being to an even greater degree. and I”m going to argue that shared co-experienced emotions do that.

So I’m going to move from this concept positive emotions as an Individual Experience (actually a very western view that they belong to an individual—his joy, my fear, my joy,) I’m going to be talking about a concept that i call positivity resonance.

F: Love is both positive emotions and larger than the self. We typically think in western culture of emotions as belonging to a person - being confined to one person’s brain, mind or skin. Here I’m arguing that actually people co-experience emotions, especially positive ones, and when they do, that’s when they are reminded in an experiential way that they are part of something larger than themselves, that they share a human connection, whether it’s with a person they know well or a stranger. It’s where we experience our common humanity.

which I think is the most elemental building block of love.

Question 39

Two preconditions for positivity resonance; certain situational conditions are needed

Answer 39

1. Perceived safety
2. Real time sensory connection

• BF: Well, I’m being purposely provocative in trying to help people see these positivity levels, or love, or micro-moments of connection, as a particular emotional state that doesn’t arise no matter what, or regardless of conditions. I’m operating at a different level of analysis when I say “unconditional.” What I’m actually saying is that love is conditional on two preconditions. One is that people feel safe, and the other is that they feel a real-time sensory connection with another person.
• The other precondition is a real-time sensory connection, because so much of a shared positive emotional state requires a shared sensory experience – making eye contact, or through touch or shared voice, because so much emotional information is carried in the vocal tract. Studies suggest that when people don’t make eye contact and don’t mimic each other’s facial expressions, no neural simulations of what the other person is feeling get triggered, so there isn’t necessarily a shared biological state. The nice thing about knowing these things is that once you understand the importance of these preconditions you can actually build them up.

Question 40

Positivity Resonance is the most partlimentary, most elementory building block of love. love in our romantic relationships, in our parent child relationships and in our relationships in our community.

Answer 40

love in our romantic relationships, in our parent child relationships and in our relationships in our community.

Question 41

why they are a positive health behavior

Answer 41

these little moments create little tune ups for our heart and create better cardiovascular funcitoning.

also data that show s when people are really kind and connected to others it leads to gene shifts that in the immune system that bring us to a healthier profile. immmune health

Question 42

Another microinvention

Answer 42

micro intervention is to teach people about this concept and say go have more of these moments in daily life—that ends up reducing loneliness, increasing flourishing mental health.

Answer 43

we tend to think really far about how do we build loving relationships, how do we build trusting communities and sometimes I think the answer is to stop looking so far ahead and then just look at those opportunities in the here and now for creating those connections.