10 and 11 psychology Flashcards
Reflective Judgement Model
Evaluate and integrate evidence
relate the evidence to a theory or opinion
reach a reasonable conclusion
Reflective Judgement Model stages
1-3 Dogmatic/Prereflective
a correct answer always exist
correct answers can be obtained by what one sees and hears believing authority
Quasi Reflective/Relativist
some things cannot be known with absolute certainty
not sure how to deal with the situation
alternative viewpoints
any judgment is purely subjective
reflective judgment 6-7
although some things can never be known with certainly some judgments are more valid than others because of their fit with the evidence
percentage of people married by 40
85 %
when is marriage the happiest
first 6 months
attachment styles- dismissing avoidant
dismiss the importance of relationships trust themselves but do not trust others thus do not share their dreams goals and fears with others do not depend on others and feel uncomfortable when they have to do so
attachment styles-fearful avoidant (25%)
want close relationships but do not feel comfortable getting emotionally close to others
Have trust issue with others do not trust their own social skills in maintaining relationships
attachment style - Secure (56%)
comfortable trusting their partners and do not worry excessively about their partners love for them
attachment style- Preoccupied
often prone to jealousy and worry that their partners does not love them as much as they need to be loved
six simple truths of communication
reservoir of hope
each relationship contains a reservoir hope of when all hope for the relationship is gone in either partner or both, then the relationship is generally over, but if there is a little bit left, then there is something to work with to build up the relationship again.
six simple truths of communication - one zinger
put-downs, criticism, verbal attacks) will erase 20 acts of kindness
six simple truths of communication- small changes
can lead to huge changes in the relationship Intentionally simple acts of kindness, compliments, ignore small things
six simple truths of communication
It’s not the differences between partners that cause problems but how the differences are handled when they come up
six simple truths of communication continued
Problems are always going to come up in relationships Careful listening, understanding differences, learning acceptance strengthens relationships; being each others friend rather than judge is the goal
Men and women often argue/fight using different weapons but suffer similar wounds
Men are less comfortable with conflict and tend to withdraw or avoid uncomfortable discussions about problems in the relationship
Women have more difficulty with emotional distance and are more likely to need to resolve relationship conflicts through discussion as soon as possible
He can feel nagged, and she can feel rejected
Both must realize that they seek the same things: acceptance, support, and affection
- 7 aspects of communication to consider
Remember that no person can fulfill all the needs of his or her partner
- 7 aspects of communication to consider
Be aware of your motivation (What is your role in the problem?)
Stop if it is to hurt, humiliate, blame, ridicule, or get even
- 7 aspects of communication to consider
Choose the time and place
stop if it is public, if anger is at a peak, if time is limited if either partner is stressed, under the influence, or preoccupied
Anxiety-induced stalling often occurs so set a time to talk if you experience it
Where you talk is also important: on a walk, at the table over coffee, while on a drive, in the bedroom, on the living room sofa, etc. Someplace where you are less likely to be interrupted or lack privacy
Remember that time and place don’t assure a good outcome, but they can set the stage for best chance of a good outcome
- 7 aspects of communication to consider
Temper complaints with genuine praise
Start with acknowledging positives; people are more likely to make a good thing better than to make a bad thing good
Limit to one complaint at a time
Be concise about your wants and give only one or two examples of the fault, then STOP.
- 7 aspects of communication to consider
Nurture small steps toward change
Remember that behavior changes due to reinforcement of small steps toward the desired goal. You’ll have to reinforce and remind several times if a new behavior is to be learned
- 7 aspects of communication to consider
Avoid “why” questions
They feel like attacks even if they aren’t meant to be. Sometimes “why” questions ARE used to veil attacks in a sneaky, hurtful way – that’s playing dirty!
- 7 aspects of communication to consider
Express negative emotions appropriately
Express appreciation for a partner
Focus anger on behavior rather than character
Use “I” statements because they express how we feel and show our vulnerability making it easier to respond to our partner in a positive way
Avoid using “You” statements; they are blaming in nature and set a stage for arguing, defensiveness, and retaliation
learn to take criticism- take a deep breath
Take a deep breath, count to 10 (Hold on to yourself – be “self-soothing”)
Think about what helpful information the person may be trying to convey
learn to take criticism- Empathize and paraphrase
Don’t match criticism with counter-criticism – it causes defensiveness, withdrawal, antagonism, even hopelessness as the criticizer sees their partner as not wanting to understand, empathize or care about his or her concerns
learn to take criticism- Acknowledge that there can be a legitimate basis for the criticism
This is important even if you don’t agree or think it is unjustified
learn to take criticism - Ask clarifying questions
This is especially necessary if the person is using global terms like “always” and “never.”
learn to take criticism= Verbalize your feelings about the criticism rather than acting them out
by crying, leaving, retreating into a shell of indifference or despair
LAST=
Focus on changes that the two of you can make.
