Verbal Lies good or bad? Flashcards
introduction
Deception can be defined as “A successful or unsuccessful deliberate attempt, without forewarning, to create in another a belief which the communicator considers to be untrue”. For instance, magicians are therefore not lying during their performance, as people in the audience expect to be deceived. Lying is typically perceived as being bad because in many cases people lie to gain material advantage or to avoid punishment. However, empirical research on the topic suggests that people also lie for psychological reasons. Using such research, the essay will further discuss how frequently people lie and the different reasons people may have for telling a lie, in order to argue that not all lies are bad.
How often people lie?
Abundant evidence shows that deception is a surprisingly frequent component of people’s interpersonal behavior. For example, DePaulo and colleagues’ (1996) diary studies suggest that people use deception in nearly 20 percent of their social interactions. In the study, 77 college students reported telling 2 lies a day, and 70 community members told 1 lie a day. A limitation of this study is that participant diary entries were self-reported which leaves open the possibility of them lying about lying, many people don’t want to admit to lying often because as already mentioned, lying is often perceived as bad behaviour. Despite the problems related to the various methods, the findings of all studies measuring the frequency of deception come to the same conclusion: lying is a frequent event. Since lying is so common and frequent in everyday life it seems unlikely that all lies are bad.
Why do we lie? – Self-orientated
introduction
When people think about lying, they typically think about lies that are told to gain material advantage or to avoid materialistic loss/punishment. These kinds of lies may be seen as selfish, disruptive of social life, and hurtful to the targets. However, people also lie for psychological reasons. The self that we present to others is not necessarily the true self but instead an edited version of the self. The edited self takes into account how one wishes to be seen by others thus, people lie, for example, to avoid embarrassment and protect others.
Why do we lie? – Self-orientated
evidence
For example, Feldman et al., (2002) study examined the effects of self-presentation goals on the amount and type of verbal deception used by participants. Participants were asked to engage in a conversation that was secretly videotaped. Self-presentational goal was manipulated, where the self-presenter was told to either appear (a) likable, (b) competent, or (c) was told to simply get to know his or her partner (control condition). After the conversation, self-presenters were asked to review a video recording of the interaction and identify the instances in which they had deceived the other person.
Why do we lie? – Self-orientated
Results + interpretation
Overall, participants told more lies when they had a goal to appear likable or competent compared to participants in the control condition, and the content of the lies varied according to self-presentation goal. It seems from the current findings that self-presentational style increases the demand to engage in impression management, and, in turn, increases the likelihood of lying. Self-orientated lies are told for self-benefit but they do not cause any harm to the receiver thus, not everyone would consider it as bad.
Why do we lie? – Self-orientated
Limitations
A limitation of this method is that it only examines a 10-minute snapshot in an artificial laboratory setting thus, it lacks ecological validity. Considering that most people spend a significant amount of time conversing with others (at work, school or over the phone), 10min encounter in lab, may not be long enough to obtain a reliable representation of everyday conversations, thus these results are difficult to generalize. Other psychological reasons for lying may be for other people’s benefit.
Other-orientated lies
Introduction
There are times in which people lie to make the target look better or to protect their feelings rather than putting the target at a disadvantage. Other-oriented lies are told for other people’s benefit (e.g. you are a really good lover). Other times people lie for social reasons because conversations could become awkward and unnecessarily rude if we always told the truth (e.g. you don’t look fat in that dress).
Other-orientated lies
Evidence + results
Related to this idea Boon and McCleod (2001) conducted a study examining the frequency of deceptive affection in intimate relationships. In the study, 124 participants were asked to estimate the number of instances in a week that they communicate deceptive affection (e.g. telling your romantic partner that you think he/she looks “pretty” when you do not feel that) to their partner. Relationship commitment and satisfaction was measured as well as four beliefs about deception; intentionality, deception is wrong, acceptance of deception and upbringing. Study results strongly supported the belief that honesty is important in a romantic relationship yet many participants could imagine that in certain situations lying is justifiable. The resulting average response of communicating deceptive affection 3.49 times a week is consistent with previous work that has been done on the frequency of deceptive affection.
Other-orientated lies
Other favourable evidence
Of particular note is that the above study’s quantitative and cross-sectional nature provided a result similar to that found in Horan and Booth-Butterfield’s (in press) diary studies. In their study, 57 respondents kept a diary of their use of deceptive affection over a seven-day period (with 51 of the diary sets containing deceptive affection). The study found that respondents communicated an average of 3.30 deceptive affections per week to their romantic partner.
Other-orientated lies
Other favourable evidence - Benefit?
These two differing methods of research found very similar results for frequency of deceptive affection in romantic relationships. This consistency between two different designs provides compelling and encouraging support for the idea that deceptive affection generally occurs around three times a week in romantic relationships. Explained: Psychological lies are often told to protect oneself and others and it can act as social lubricant and improve social relationships. Positive aspect of deception explains why we sometimes don’t mind being lied to.
conclusion
In conclusion, many studies have established that the majority of people lie fairly frequently in day to day life. The thought of being lied to so frequently may seem alarming at first but empirical research shows that not all lies are bad. Psychological lies are often told to protect ourselves or to avoid tension and conflict in social interactions and to minimise hurt feelings and ill-will, we tell lies even to people we feel emotionally close to. Deception thus, sometimes acts as a social lubricant and improves social relationships. The nature of lying is two-pronged, and how we feel about deception (bad or good) depends on the reason why the lie is told.
