unit 3: dating and love

Question 1

explain the experiment discussed in Catron (2015)

Answer 1

two strangers walk into the lab and are forced to answer Dr Aron’s 36 questions, then forced to stare into each other’s eyes for 4 min
they ended up getting married 6 months later

Question 2

according to Kuperburg and Padgett (2016), what assumptions do most other researchers make when discussing hookup culture in college?

Answer 2

men are the minority on campuses, meaning that they have power in the sexual marketplace and that they are the ones actively looking for hookups

Question 3

according to Kuperburg and Padgett (2016), is hookup culture causing dating to go extinct?

Answer 3

no. while hookups are more widespread than before, they have not replaced traditional dating, with both men and women still desiring to seek out romantic relationships

Question 4

true or false: according to Kuperburg and Padgett (2016), women are more likely than men to regret their hookups afterward

Answer 4

false, it’s roughly the same between men and women

Question 5

according to Kuperburg and Padgett (2016), approx how many recent marriages have began in a hook-up context?

Answer 5

one third

Question 6

according to Kuperburg and Padgett (2016), who’s more likely to hook up: women with a college degree, or women of lower education?

Answer 6

women with a college degree

Question 7

true or false: according to Kuperburg and Padgett (2016), binge drinking before hookups results in less enjoyment for both parties

Answer 7

true, despite the fact that it’s so common. this is in part because intoxication leads to more unprotected sex

Question 8

according to Kuperburg and Padgett (2016), which three groups stand out as having lower rates of unprotected sex compared to other students?

Answer 8

1. men hooking up with men
2. women who were part of sororities
3. students who met hookup partners in dorms

Question 9

what does Cancian (1986) define as the feminized perspective of love that predominates in the US? what does Cancian’s paper propose instead?

Answer 9

feminized perspective states that women are much more capable of love than men, and for relationships to be more loving, men should be more like women. this paper proposes that love is both instrumental and expressive

Question 10

what does Cancian (1986) highlight as the two enduring definitions of heterosexual love? what is cancian’s proposed definition?

Answer 10

1. combine care and assistance with physical and emotional closeness (broad, affective and instrumental qualities)
2. from pre-capitalist america, included work and feelings, split between masculine and feminine fragments by the separation of home and workplace (narrow, affective qualities only)
   cancian: small numbers of people are affectionate and emotionally committed to each other, collective well-being as major goal, and feel obliged to provide care and practical assistance for one another, physical aspect too

Question 11

based on a 1980 survey discussed in Cancian (1986), what do most people say makes a good love relationship?

Answer 11

good communication

Question 12

according to Cancian (1986) how do men’s and women’s attitudes toward sex and love differ?

Answer 12

men separate sex and love, while women do not

Question 13

what is the problem with what Cancian (1986) calls the feminized perspective on love?

Answer 13

emphasizes men’s power over women, which can lead to moral and political problems that could be mitigated with an androgynous approach

Question 14

why is dating hard for millennials? (the atlantic video)

Answer 14

• barely any in-person interactions means less flirting with strangers in public
• reliance on dating apps
• stranger danger

Question 15

according to the Atlantic video on Why Dating is Hard for Millennials, how have dating apps affected relationship diversity?

Answer 15

without the social barriers of in-person interactions, people are more likely to come across and date people of different racial or ethnic backgrounds

Question 16

what is the Flo Rida theory (see podcast on online dating and romance), and how does it relate to a central problem with online dating?

Answer 16

people are like a flo rida song: not impressive upon first listen, but gets more interesting the more you hear it. online dating rewards hotness because people’s initial judgement is based solely off physical attraction. in reality, many couples did not find their partner attractive when they first met but now love them deeply

Question 17

what is the primary consequence regarding depersonalization of dating apps?

Answer 17

it’s easier for people to be rude through a screen, causing women to get lots of disgusting messages over dms

Question 18

according to Lamont (2018), what are the primary norms regarding heterosexual courtship rituals?

Answer 18

• men initiate, women react
• assumption that men and women have fundamentally different needs in the relationship

Question 19

what does Lamont (2018) mean when they say that queer people are “dually socialized”?

Answer 19

they are exposed to queer politics and views that seek to undermine normative constructions, while simultaneously being embedded in a heteronormative and binary culture of love, sex, romance, and family

Question 20

what does Lamont (2018) claim to be the paradox of queer liberation?

Answer 20

crucial debate of assimilation vs innovation: while trying to deconstruct norms, queer people inadvertently create their own norms that permeate queer spaces and undermine their claims of radical individualism

Question 21

why does Lamont (2018) claim that same-sex couples’ promotion of an egalitarian narrative functions as a “family myth”?

Answer 21

• gendered inequalities still exist as many gay and lesbian individuals actively embrace certain normative practices such as gender roles (eg. butch/femme)
• some argue that the focus on the institutionalization of same sex marriage indicates a centring and privileging of problematic norms

Question 22

what does Lamont (2018) mean by the term “alternative respectability”?

Answer 22

alternative respectability dictates the “right” way to be queer, for example through the rejection of sexist practices

Question 23

according to Reid et al (2011), how has the expectation surrounding hookups and relationships changed in recent years?

Answer 23

while hooking up used to refer to a no-strings-attached one-night stand, it can now be a first step on the path to dating and relationships for many college students

Question 24

how does Reid et al (2011) define the sexual double standard when it comes to college hook-ups? how do they suggest the new hookup-to-dating pathway might affect this?

Answer 24

women are judged for hookups, while men gains status and are more likely to get more sexual pleasure and benefits from a hookup. men are thought to have more agency in both hookups and relationships. Reid et al examines how the new pathway might challenge notions that hookups are inherently bad for women

Question 25

how do Reid et al (2011) employ a symbolic interactionist perspective when examining hookup culture?

Answer 25

people make meanings surrounding sexuality that draw from larger, deeply gendered cultural scrips in order to guide action and serve as a basis for how people judge others (girls want romance, boys want sex). therefore, while hookups can offer women sexual pleasure without demands of relationships, they occur within the gendered context of the ongoing sexual double standard

Question 26

based on the findings of Reid et al (2011)’s study, how do students perceptions of men and women’s respective roles in a hookup differ?

Answer 26

women’s desire to hook up is more likely to be seen as spontaneous, while for men it is seen as a more stable personality trait

Question 27

based on the findings of Reid et al (2011)’s study, why, according to student respondents, does a sexless occur after a hookup?

Answer 27

• date could signify mutual romantic interest
• could be woman’s redemptive chastity, or engaging in impression management behaviour to redeem her reputation
• could be a pity date on either end

Question 28

what (generally) did Lamont (2014) conclude based on her study of heterosexual and bisexual women’s dating habits in regards to gender equality?

Answer 28

although women seek gender equality in both the private and public sphere, they are also generally supportive of gendered courtship scripts

Question 29

according to Lamont (2014), how do women justify the disconnect between wanting egalitarian relationships but preferring conventional courtship behaviours?

Answer 29

• essentialist beliefs: it is in men’s nature to be dominant
• narratives of choice: men expected to follow gendered behaviour
• individualism: if women did not see an egalitarian future, the would leave (this doesn’t mean that they didn’t support gendered scripts)

Question 30

how has family life changed in north america since the Industrial Revolution? how has it stayed the same?

Answer 30

differences:
- production: home to factory to industrial decline to rise of digital tech with separate spheres, people no longer produce what they consume
- children: sentimentalized, went from asset to cost
- coupling off: went from material/economic to emotional/affectionate
- women’s labour: from in to both in and out of home (now doing double the work)
consistencies:
- majority still marry
- domestic work remains primarily women’s responsibility

Question 31

when was the industrial revolution?

Answer 31

1740-1840

Question 32

how were relationships initiated in the colonial period?

Answer 32

via set-up, or a few informal interactions. communities were small and people were likely to know each other before coupling off. marriage happened by birth order

Question 33

what was “bundling” in the colonial period?

Answer 33

unmarried man and woman sleeping in the same bed, fully clothed, often with a sack or board used to deter sex

Question 34

how was courtship initiated during the Industrial Revolution?

Answer 34

courtship was formal and ritualized. mothers often selected eligible suitors for their young daughters (based on class/rank), who would then meet all together in an observed setting (aka “calling”), later followed by “keeping company”

Question 35

what was “keeping company” in the Industrial period?

Answer 35

part of the courtship process, which, although still formal, required less supervision than the calling stage

Question 36

what did dating look like in the 20th century?

Answer 36

more informal, often meeting in dance halls or private parties. despite more sexual liberation for women, the initiative fell in the hands of the men. peers offered the majority of surveillance over the couple rather than their parents. the man’s car was a central location for advancing the relationship sexually.

Question 37

what was the “rating-dating” complex prominent in the 20th century?

Answer 37

process by which young people establish popularity by dating

Question 38

what did “going steady” entail in 20th century dating culture?

Answer 38

like playing marriage with no real intent of getting married

Question 39

when were the first and second sexual revolutions, respectively?

Answer 39

1920s; 1960s/70s

Question 40

what did dating look like in the 1960s and 70s, within the context of the second sexual revolution?

Answer 40

dating became ever more casual with less guilt over sexual intimacy and fewer committed relationships, in part due to access to the birth control pill. double dates and hanging out with you partner in larger groups became more popular

Question 41

what did dating look like in late 20th century (80s onward)?

Answer 41

return to formal dating, though less clearly defined than in the early 20th century, with initiative in the hands of men.

Question 42

why did dating become less self-evident or clearly defined in the 1980s and 90s?

Answer 42

1. lack of equal status
2. essentialist beliefs - men and women are inherently different
3. familiarity in the midst of uncertainty - traditional norms still preferred by majority
4. “street smarts” - social scripts deeply entrenched

Question 43

how does LGBTQ+ dating differ from heterosexual dating?

Answer 43

though the fundamental goals are very similar, dating can be delayed in queer individuals. queer dating also lacks clear scripts. queer individuals rely considerably for online modes of connection, with over half of couples meeting online

Question 44

how has the internet changed the ways people connect romantically?

Answer 44

1. selection occurs prior to face-to-face meeting
2. bigger pool of prospects, intimacy with strangers
3. complex/scientific matching process (compatibility formulas
4. asynchronous communication
5. information control - how people portray themselves online is curated

Question 45

what are Wade (2017)’s steps of the common hetero hook-up script?

Answer 45

1. pre-game
2. party - grinding, dancing hooking up initiated via facing each other
3. sexual interaction in private
4. next day, participants establish that hookup was meaningless due to intoxication, tend to avoid each other