Under the Skin - Isabel Losada Flashcards
Importance of making our sex life blissful
We feel dubious, shy and sceptical about Anthony Robbins (the alpha figure of personal development)
Netflix film = I am not your guru
There is a difference between our ‘being’ nature (Tolle) and our ‘doing’ nature (Robbins)
They both have an enormous use - when people are tortured by their own thoughts, they need Tolle.
However, we have this incarnated life and sometimes we need a bit of Anthony Robbins. There is nothing wrong with having a plan, as long as you realise it’s not fully under your control. Many people just get lost in the spirituality.
“I just want some respite from my own thoughts”
“The Untethered Soul” - it’s like Tolle but clearer
“I’d been for a run. Then a thought went through my head and I felt really happy. But it was a physiological response. It should not be undermined because it’s anatomical, but rather like all thoughts should not be taken seriously.”
We must try not to buy into the thoughts.
With regards to the biochemical origin of an impulse I wonder where the dividing line of body and mind is?
I have a theory that there is an epidemic of no sex going on out there.
People tend not to be honest about sex.
There are very people who appear to be having a good sex life.
There are lot of myths out there: there is a myth of a certain kind of sex where both man and woman are meant to be having simultaneous, multiple orgasms.
Women lie about the sensations in their bodies because they want to please the man. They don’t want to offend his ego. They don’t give honest feedback about their experiences. Many women are very bad at taking responsibility for their own experience and want the man to be happy.
There is disjunct between people’s expectations of what sex should be.
Is there something quintessential about sex which makes communication difficult on a verbal level?
Yes - it’s because we’ve all been fed this myth about what sex should be. We are suffering from this. Sex is not a commodity.
If women are to take responsibility for their sexuality, they must learn to be comfortable with their bodies.
9 out of 10 women when getting undressed for a masseur will apologise for their body. Men never apologise.
Women have very ambivalent feelings about their body parts.
The vulva has become ugly in a women’s mind.
We are spiritual beings, we know the body is an illusion.
There are not many people who celebrate their sexuality - make sexual pleasure a priority.
We need to explore the whole tantric area - very few people out there who actually study sexuality.
The orgasm challenge: Man goes for 21 days without ejaculation. If you stop undertaking orgasm-chasing sex and the man is deliberately trying not to ejaculate, then you can open the whole of the rest of the colour plate.
There is an international conference for clitoris stroking.
Slow Sex - Nicole Daedone - there is an exercise outside the bedroom with the light on. Women lies with her legs open. Man is fully clothed and with his left hand, holds her vulva open. With the index finger on his left hand, he learns to stroke the clitoris. (Orgasmic meditation - 15 minutes)
The man is learning how to completely tune into the woman’s sensation in her body.
What normally happens during sex is because the man’s sensation is easier to access, and comes faster and stronger, he very soon loses touch with what she’s feeling. He’s not completely tuned into her.
There are lots of people doing this practice i.e. men are learning how to tuning into women’s bodies.
The interesting thing is that men will work 7 days a week at some crap job, working until they drop, and yet they won’t even read a book about female sexuality.
The greatest sexual secret that women need to know: the health of the pelvic floor muscles. These are really important for the sexual health of both women and men.
The importance of these muscles are greatly understood.
We are not approaching sexual relationships in a very connected way.
Take sexuality seriously - learn about it, study it, become an expert in all the tantric areas.
