Triggers Flashcards
1) Maddy, or a friend, or a boy asking to hangout / plan for something in the future
2) Imagining the idea, or how much fun I would have
Urge to agree to hanging out
Urge to start planning how to make it work
1) Recognize urge, and repeat urge surfing metaphore in mind
2) Radically decide to say maybe and that you’ll think about it to the other person
3) Step away for at-least 5-10 minutes
4) Think about if this could negatively effect the daily things that you can control the MOST
5) Think about if you will have time for other priorities you have for the day
1) My room mate is available to hangout and possibly drink, which I habitually will do
2) I start imagining ideas for things we can do, how to make it happen
Urge to ask to hang out
Urge to start planning how to make it work
1) Recognize urge, and repeat urge surfing metaphore in mind
2) Radically decide to not ask them to hangout and that you’ll think about it alone first.
3) Step away for at-least 5-10 minutes
4) Think about if this could negatively effect the daily things that you can control the MOST
5) Think about if you will have time for other priorities you have for the day
Running out of something in the kitchen
Run out of something in the kitchen
What is willingess?
Doing just what is needed in each situation wholeheartedly, without dragging your feet.
Listening to your WISE MIND and acting from your WISE MIND.
Acting with awareness that you are connected to the universe.
What if willfulness?
Refusing to tolerate the moment, trying to fix every situation, being in control, attachment to “Me, Me, Me” and “what I want right now”
What to do when acting willfully?
1) Observe your actions/thoughts and label them to willfullnes. Open up your wise mind.
2) RADICALLY ACCEPT that you are feeling/acting willful.
3) Turn your mind towards radical acceptance and willingness.
4) Half smile and have a willing posture.
Mindfulness “What” Skills
Observe
-Practice wordless watching
-Observe your sensations
-Pay attention to where you are, and the moment
Describe
-Acknowledge thoughts or feelings, “My body feels sadness” “A thought ‘I Can’t take this” came into my mind”
Participate
-Throw yourself into the moment, do not separate yourself from what is going on.
-Go with the flow
Mindfulness “How” Skills
Nonjudgmentally
-Observe the facts without labeling as good or bad.
-Acknowledge the difference between “helpful” and “harmful”, “safe” and “dangerous.”
-Acknowledge your feelings.
One-Mindfully
-Notice the desire to be “half present”, to do something else.
-Come back to doing one thing at a time, being in the moment. Ex. If you’re eating, eat. If you’re walking, walk.
-Let go of distractions, come back to doing one thing, over and over and over.
-Effectively
Act skillfully, and willingness. Don’t act willful. Focus on what works, using your wise mind.
How to practice nonjudgmentalness
Observe your Judgemental thoughts. “A judgmental thought arose in my mind”
Replace that thought, and describe the facts instead. Describe the consequences if any, and describe your emotions.
Observe your own judgemental facial expressions, posture and voice tones.
Replace your expressions, posture, and voice tone to be without judgment.
Practice G.I.V.E. Practice half-smiling. Practice willing hands.
How to practice Effectiveness
Observe anger, ask “Is this effective”
Observe when you wanting to be “right” instead of effective. Give up being “right.”
Being “right” is willful, instead act with willingness, act with your wise mind, and you’ll be acting effectively.
How to use STOP Skill
STOP IMMEDIATELY without reaction, don’t move at all, say at all.
Take a step back, away from the situation.
Observe and think of your other skills.
Before you proceed, turn your mind completely towards radical acceptance, make however you proceed in a willingful manner, remember G.I.V.E. Be effective, not right.
Proceed mindfully.
When do you use STOP skill?
When there is a crisis, something highly stressful. Intense pressure to resolve the crisis NOW. Emotional mind threatens to overwhelm you. You want more than nothing to do something to fix the situation and make others understand what’s wrong.
Pros and Cons of acting on a situation vs resisting the urge.
There are no pros to acting. You will create long term harm.
Resisting the urge will make you act more effectively. Resisting will make you happier long term. Resisting will protect your dignity and power.
