TJLC Flashcards
“Not know your own mother? How can you say? Your mother is in your bones!” - Aunties (Mother and Daughter)
Metaphor – Her mother is inside her, with her. she’s a part of JM’s body.
- May show that even while JM and SY don’t really understand each other well,
they are still mother and daughter so they share a spiritual connection.
- But also may convey that this is what all mothers want to think about their
daughters – that their daughters will pass down the mothers’ history and
legacy.
- Tone – anger and at the same time a slight hint of desperation (wanting to
hope that SY is in fact ‘in her bones’)
“How can I be my mother at Joy Luck?” - Jing Mei (Mother and Daughter)
She feels that her mother always tried to force her with her dreams
- She feels pressure from it since she doesn’t believe she and her mother share similarities, much less impersonate her.
“And then it occurs to me. They are frightened. In me, they see their own daughters, just as ignorant… They see their daughters who grow impatient when their mothers talk in Chinese… who will bear grandchildren born without any connecting hope passed from generation to generation.” - Jing Mei (Mother and Daughter)
JM notices how her ‘aunties’ see their daughter in her.
- Metaphor – they see their own daughters in her.
- They feel the same fear; the fear of a lack of understanding of their own history and culture (especially when Chinese regard tradition and legacy as of utmost importance)
‘“You don’t even know little percent of me! How can you be me?”’ - Su Yuan (Mother and Daughter)
Suggests the amount of history that Suyuan left behind in China; but JM doesn’t know anything about it. SY resents JM’s American upbringing
“..made me feel my mother and I spoke two different languages, which we did. I talked to her in English, she answered back in Chinese.” - JM (MD)
Emphasis on differences between the mother and daughter.
- She makes an analogy of her difficulty in understanding her mother(‘s intentions, behaviour, etc) and vice versa to two people talking different languages, which in fact, is also the case.
- Communication is a crucial part of building/maintaining a relationship – if there is no proper communication, two people cannot speak nor understand each other.
“My mother and I never really understood one another. We translated each other’s meanings and I seemed to hear less than what was said, while my mother heard more.” - JM (MD)
- Misunderstanding between M&D.
- Even if they try to convey the same message they both say it differently and perceive it differently.
- Lack of understanding
“‘You want me to be someone that I’m not!’ ‘I’ll never be the kind of daughter you want me to be… I wish I wasn’t your daughter. I wish you weren’t my mother.’” “I wish I’d never been born! I wish I were dead! Like them.’ … – and her face went blank.” - JM (MD)
- JM doesn’t understands SY’s intentions and thinks she’s only trying to force her own unfulfilled dreams and desires upon her.
- All stems from miscommunication
- Her frustration leads to her lashing out to SY and crossing a line
“What will I say? What can I tell them about my mother? I don’t know anything..” - JM (MD)
- Lack of knowledge and understanding stems from the miscommunication between them.
- Ironic considering how a daughter does not know anything about her own mother
“My mother believed you could be anything you wanted to be in America. You could… America was where all my mother’s hopes lay.” - JM (Immigration)
- “You could..” – hightlights the endless possibilities in America.
- Opportunities in America. Wanting to live the American Dream.
“I think the carvings mean something, because shapes and details, which I never seem to notice until after they’re pointed out to me, always mean something to Chinese people… she gave it to me after I got divorced. I guess my mother’s telling me I’m still worth something” - JM (Immigration)
- Gift from mother that has passed down many generations
- Mother comforting & encouraging daughters by giving gift; indirect showing of love (instead of just telling them “you’re worth something” – high context
- High context v low context
- JM’s difficulty in understanding the meaning behind Chinese jewelry & gifts
like those = difficulty in understanding her mother’s intentions
“‘Everybody else want best quality. You thinking different.’” “She said it in a way as if this were proof - proof of something good.” - JM (Sacrifice)
- SY sees the selflessness that is within JM. SPiritual connection between similar traits & actions. Both try to do the same thing for each other. (JM tries to take bad crab but SY takes bad crab)
- The sacrifice trait shown in JM
“‘You want me to be someone that I’m not!’ ‘I’ll never be the kind of daughter you want me to be… I wish I wasn’t your daughter. I wish you weren’t my mother.’” “I wish I’d never been born! I wish I were dead! Like them.’ … – and her face went blank.” - JM (Fate & Autonomy)
- JM doesn’t understand her mother’s sacrifice, so JM never sacrifice anything for her nor is grateful for any of mother’s sacrifice
- All this fighting stems from misunderstanding.
“I was so determined not to try, not to be anybody different that I learned to play only the most ear-splitting preludes, the most discordant hymns.” - JM (Fate & Autonomy)
- She tries so hard to not be her best just to spite her mother
- Toxic M&D relationship
“I can never remember things I didn’t understand in the first place.” - JM (Language, Mistranslation)
- An emphasis on the faraway distance between JM and Chinese. Doesn’t understand her mother tongue, hence doesn’t remember it.
- Low context culture demonstrated – has to fully understand (through straightforward, direct explanation) to memorise
“She always said things that didn’t make any sense, that sounded both good and bad at the same time.” - JM (
- Doesn’t make sense to JM because of mistranslation and difference in culture.
- High context - ambiguous and has depth in meaning. - JM feels frustration from this and can’t fully understand SY.
