Theresa's Lines

Question 1

Troupe 771…9

Answer 1

THERESA: I’m just going to call this realtor and then we’ll talk about yout story.

Question 2

MERCER: I’m n no hurry

Answer 2

THERESA: Hi. I was calling for Casey Samples… Sure, I’ll hold. So what’s your idea?

Question 3

MERCER: I’ll wait till you get off the phone.

Answer 3

THERESA: I haven’t really left my house, you know, I’ve basically been going home and hunkering down. So I’ve been watching a lot of TV, and there’s that cable channel, Life time? It’s the woman’s network? They play all these made-for-TV movies on there and, I don’t know, every other night, I guess there’s one on about stalking. They’re all called, like Poisoned Love or Love Hurts.

Question 4

MERCER: Or… The Graduate

Answer 4

THERESA: Exactly. Anyway, they all start with a married woman, and her husband’s ignoring her. But the tennis pro at her country club thinks she’s really hot and he makes a pass at her. ANd she gives in and has sex with him, but she doesn’t want to have a real relationship with the guy because he’s a tennis pro, for gods sake. But he won’t have that and he starts talking her. Then her husband finds out and leave sher. SO she buys a gun to protect herself, and at the last minute, she shoots the stalker in the head. Sometimes it’s a pistol, sometimes it’s a pump-action ridle. At first, I was disgusted, but I found I kept watching the stupid things beacuse, at the end, I felt this real sense of satisfaction when the stalker got it in the head. (pauses as she reads the letter.) Mercer? (Someone comes on the line) Yeah, I want to get that apartment on Sixty-Eighth. This si Theresa Bedell. What do you mean? I was there twenty minutes ago! What do you mean?

Question 5

MECER: Theresa?

Answer 5

THERESA: Then you have to get me another one!

Question 6

MERCER: Theresa? (He sees the letter she was looking at)

Answer 6

THERESA: No! I don’t… I can’t wait! NO! NO! Now! Do you hear me? NOW! You can’t– we had a verbal contract! A verbal contract!

Question 7

MERCER: Oh God. Hang up the phone.

Answer 7

THERESA: No!

Question 8

MERCER: Hang up the… Hang up the phone. We’ll call the police. It’s just a letter. He’s not here, he’s not here. It’s just a letter. (she pushes him away) Okay.

Answer 8

THERESA: I don’t know you.

Question 9

MERCER: Okay.

Answer 9

THERESA: What’s your interest in me?

Question 10

MERCER: I’m just trying to help. Honestly, I promise I’m juts trying to help. Is there someone… why don’t you let me call your friend Linda.

Answer 10

THERESA: This is Linda’s fault.

Question 11

MERCER: Is there somebody else I can call? Somebody in your family?

Answer 11

THERESA: No.

Question 12

MERCER: Okay. I’m going to call the police, then. What’s the woman’s name?

Answer 12

THERESA: Detective Beck.

Question 13

MERCER: Is it in your Rolodex?

Answer 13

THERESA: Yes. Under “B.” For Beck (pauses) The playoffs are on tonight.

Question 14

MERCER: (On the phone) Can I speak to Detective Beck, please? Thanks. (Beat) Yeah, It’s Mercer Stevens calling, it’s about Theresa Bedell, it’s urgent.

Answer 14

THERESA: If he is watching the Yankees… if he is some where, watching the Yankees, I’ll kill him.

Question 15

MERCER: It’s okay. They’re paging her.

Answer 15

THERESA: I mean it.

Question 16

MERCER: I know.

Answer 16

THERESA: If the Yankees blow the play-offs, I’ll kill them.

Question 17

MERCER: Look, don’t let me freak you out, okay? But if you want to come over to our place tonight, we’ve got a pull-out couch, and according to other guests, it’s very comfortable.

Answer 17

THERESA: We?

Question 18

MERCER: Me and my wife.

Answer 18

THERESA: You’re married?

Question 19

MERCER: Yes.

Answer 19

THERESA: I didn’t know you were married. You don’t wear a ring.

Question 20

MERCER: I have a contact dermatitis. With metal.

Answer 20

THERESA: You get a rash.

Question 21

MERCER: I get a rash. Right. (Into the phone) Yeah, I’ll keep holding. Thanks. (back) You know, I told Michelle the other day, though, that we should have you over for dinner or something. But I didn’t know how to broach it. I’m not good at that stuff. I don’t know how to make friends as an adult.

Answer 21

THERESA: I see… I mean, I understand.

Question 22

MERCER: In college you’d meet somebody and if you both really liked Aerosmith, you were best friends.

Answer 22

THERESA: Right.

Question 23

MERCER: And I was thinking, maybe that’s what happeed with Tony. Maybe you said something on that first date that made him think you were perfect for each other. It could have been anything really, because he already had a picture of the ideal woman in his head, and he was just looking for somebody to impose that on. You probably said one little thing that fit the picture. Or you wore your hair a certain way. Or he liked the shape of your… he liked the way you looked.

Answer 23

THERESA: Is this it?

Question 24

MERCER: What?

Answer 24

THERESA: Is this the idea? For the story? You want to write about me and what’s happening to me?

Question 25

MERCER: It is. I didn’t mean… I mean this isn’t the time to talk about it.

Answer 25

THERESA: No. Go ahead. Tell me.

Question 26

MERCER: Maybe later.

Answer 26

THERESA: No. Tell me now.

Question 27

MERCER: Well, I just, I want to write about how men and women see each other, but obviously I’m not qualified to write about this from a woman’s perspective. I mean, I can guess but I don’t really know how women percieve themselves. In relation to the ways in which men percieve them. If you know what I mean.

Answer 27

THERESA: I do.

Question 28

MERCER: So that’s where I would need your help. Or your blessing. Or something.

Answer 28

THERESA: Here are the ways in which I percieve myself, in relation to the ways men percieve me. I percieve myself to be a bitch.

Question 29

MERCER: Don’t read that.

Answer 29

THERESA: I percieve myself as something to be fucked until I scream.

Question 30

MERCER: This isn’t what I meant.

Answer 30

THERESA: As something to be nailed to the ground and fucked so hard I split in two.

Question 31

MERCER: Theresa, please don’t look at that.

Answer 31

THERESA: As something to be fucked where I’m small. I don’t even know what that means. Something to be fucked where I’m small.

Question 32

MERCER: I think he means… sodomized.

Answer 32

THERESA: Then add that to your list.

Question 33

MERCER: Don’t keep looking at that. This isn’t what I meant.

Answer 33

THERESA: My life is not theoretical.

Question 34

MERCER: I know.

Answer 34

THERESA: You don’t get to make something theoretical out of my life.

Question 35

MERCER: Theresa. Please. Stop.

Answer 35

THERESA; No, you stop.

Question 36

MERCER: (backing away) Okay.

Answer 36

THERESA: You stop.

Question 37

Mercer: Okay, I’m still on hold

Answer 37

THERESA: I’m not theoretical, I’m real.