The One Act Play that Goes Wrong Flashcards
TREVOR: …if anyone finds a Duran Duran…please hand it to me at the end of the performance. Enjoy the show…Clearance.
CHRIS: Leave it. Just leave it.
We need…
CHRIS: Leave it. Just leave it.
ANNIE: We need…
CHRIS: We haven’t got time.
Exit
DENNIS: Shall I telephone the police, Mr. Colleymoore?
ROBERT: The police? They wouldn’t make it out here for days in this snowstorm (opens curtains)
Snowflakes
ROBERT: Hang it all! There’s another on the shelf!
DENNIS: Of course sir! Yes, this one is full! (empty)
ROBERT: This is horrifying! I mean who on earth would have a motivation to murder Charles Haversham?
(Dennis puts empty bottle on tray with a glass and walks past window)
Switch bottles
ROBERT: Suicide Cecil? How can you say that? Of course not; it’s murder! Murder in the first degree!
MAX: Nonsense, the man was paranoid, jealous, and I can prove it! Perkins, hand me his journal from the mantelpiece!
Hand journal through window
SANDRA: Your eyes send me into a dream! Kiss me Cecil, I can’t wait a second longer!
(Dennis bursts in late w two candlesticks)
DENNIS: Sorry to interrupt again Mr. Haversham, Miss Colleymoore. I’ve just come to prepare the room.
MAX: Thank you Perkins. Put them on the mantelpiece.
(Dennis walks to mantelpiece with the candlesticks)
Hold mantelpiece in position
Chris/Sandra scene -
Sandra: What letter?
Chris: Then, how do you explain the letter on the mantelpiece?
Sandra: I didn’t write that letter!
Chris: You wrote that letter!
Pass letter through window
Dennis: I don’t know Inspector, I was in here when I heard screams from downstairs!
Robert drags annie on stage
Robert: Get in here now Florence! It’s not safe down there!
Thomas I’m frightened!
Dennis: What’s going on?
Chris: Isn’t it obvious? Cecil has lost control?
Ceecil! Surely not!
Chris: He killed Charles tonight, driven mad by his lust for you, and now he knows we’ve found him out!
I cannot bear it. Ceecil would not do such a thing.
Robert: Of course he would, the damn lunatic!
You used to trust people Tom; you’ve changed!
Dennis: This is a fine mess, sir! The worst night I’ve seen in eighty-eight years of service!
Save me brother, save me!
Robert: I shan’t let anyone hurt a hair on your head, Florence.
I’m panicking! I can’t believe…Ceecil?
You: I can’t believe…Ceecil?
Chris: Cecil!
Cecil…is doing this.
Dennis: Try to stay calm Miss Colleymoore!
I shall faint!
Chris: Take cover!
Robert: Great scot!
Dennis: Good heavens!
Ay me!
Ay me
Chris: Don’t panic! Cecil’s crossing the landing!
We must lock him out!
Chris: Quickly Perkins, hand them to me before Cecil…
(Max enters, dead)
Good lord!
Cecil’s dead?
Trevor: Found the Duran Duran’, carry on
Chris: Time of death: quarter to midnight
Cecil! No! No! No! I loved him! I loved him! I know it’s wrong. I know I was engaged to Charles; but Cecil was mine and…I was his. I loved him!
I loved him!
Dennis: There, there, Miss Colleymoore.
Through tears. How will I go on?
Dennis: That’s a good question Mr. Colleymoore.
Chris: …and one we need to answer quickly if we all want to get out of this house alive.
Oh inspector, you’ve given me a chill!
Dennis pours the spirit for Robert.
Chris: Not, tell me, is there anyone you know of still in the grounds other than the four of us?
Not a soul.
Robert: The staff all go home at the weekends, except for Perkins of course. Good god, I needed that.
Chris: Does anyone else have access to the grounds?
No one, inspector.
Pole disaster with max.
Chris: So, let us go over the facts
hint: go to window during this
Oh! It’s such a terrible night!
Chris: Florence! You were engaged to be married to Charles, a man who according to your letter you despised. Not only this but you were having an affair with his brother-
Cecil!
Chris: …Cecil. It seems plausible to me that you both murdered him so you could be together.
Oh! Stop it inspector! Cecil’s dead too now and I certainly didn’t kill Charles
Jonathan: I told Perkins! We’ve been working together all along. ever since we last spoke at the police station it was clear you thought I was onto you. It was at this point I became afraid you’d try to kill me. For months now I’ve had my guard up and tonight you fell into my trap.
Dennis: You’ve been hiding in the grounds ever since this afternoon when you planted the poison
(get up when you hear this line)
I thought it was strange you got here so quickly in such terrible weather
Dennis: And then you found Charles’ will in his ledger and tried to pin the whole thing on me.
You damned crafty devil
Jonathan: Crafty, indeed. Perkins here is as innocent as I am. Remove those handcuffs this instant!
Drop the gun inspector!
Ay me!
Dennis: Yes, sir (leaves with chaise lounge)
Jonathan: Lower your weapon, inspector. It’s over.
Please inspector! You’re frightening me!
You’re frightening me…
Chris: You ought to be frightened!
You monster! You tried to kill Charles…
Robert: It’s true. I’m the inspector’s accomplice; I helped him move the money!
Sandra: Brother! I’m surprised at…
Brother, I’m surprised at you! I don’t know what you’ve become.
Chris (whisper): As for Cecil…
Robert: As for Cecil, that was more a crime of passion, simple as that.
Cecil! But I loved him, he was my only…
Dennis: Yes, sir!
Jonathan: Now, I hold in my hand a written list of every fraudulent transaction Thomas Colleymoore and Inspector Carter made!
Sandra: This can’t be true, I won’t believe…
This can’t be true. I won’t believe it! I can’t believe it!
Jonathan: Your sordid affair sickened me Florence. You broke my heart.
No, Charley! You mustn’t! I made a mistake…
Sandra: I made a mistake! Please, take me back! I’ll be yours all over again!
Jonathan: Take back a woman who has betrayed me (being spun)? Never!
CHARLEY! You’re all I have! Love me! Please! Don’t cast me aside! I shall be an outcast in the town! My friend’s shan’t speak to me. Never again shall I feel your embrace! Let me be your wife!
Dennis: yes, sir!!
Jonathan: That will be the police to arrest you both.
Charley! I cannot bear it another second…
Jonathan: Silence Florence! You are nothing to me now!
Sandra: this is the worst night of my life (punched!!)
No! No! No! This is the worst night of my life!
Robert: What do you mean?
Jonathan:…He never intended to share the money with you! Let me summarize…
I LOVE YOU CHARLEY!
Inspector Carter knew I discovered you and he were both embezzling police money, so you hatched a
(tray action)
I’ve still got the ring Charley, we can make it work!
Jonathan:…Cecil and Florence because of their affair until your accomplice Thomas blundered in and shot my brother Cecil. Carter then tried to pin it on Perkins instead after finding my will in the ledger.
(roll of tape)
Take me Charley! If you know what’s good for you!
CHRIS: I had’t bargained on your accountant catching on this quickly and telephoning you so soon.
Back onstage
