The Four Components of An Empathetic Skillset Flashcards
The empathetic attitude
Empty is more than anything a state of mind, a different way of relating to others. The greatest danger you face is your general assumption that you really understand people, and that you can quickly judge and categorize them. Instead, you must begin with the assumption that you are ignorant, and that you have natural biases that will make you judge people incorrectly.
The best place to begin this transformation, and your attitude is in your numerous daily conversations. Try reversing your normal impulse to talk and give your opinion, Ring, instead to hear the other persons point of view. You have tremendous curiosity in this direction. Cut off your insistent interior monologue as best you can. What matters here is the quality of your listening, so that in the course of the conversation you can mirror back to the other person things they said, or things that were left unsaid, but that you sensed. This will have a tremendous seductive effect.
We all have a tendency to do the following: when we make a mistake, we attribute it to circumstances that push us into doing it. But when others make a mistake, pretend to see it as a character, flaw, something that flowed from their imperfect personality. This is known as attribution bias. You must work against this.
Adopting this attitude depends on the quality of your self-love. If you feel terribly superior to others, or gripped by insecurities, your moments of empathy, absorption, and people will be shallow. What you need is complete acceptance of your character, including your flaws, which you can see clearly but even appreciate and love. you are not perfect. You are not an angel. You have the same nature as others.
Visceral empathy
