The Flinch - Julien Smith Flashcards
Think of a bear. You see it and react instantly.
You know how to deal with the bear because your brain is built to help you survive it: run, jump, fight, hide. But that’s not the world you’re in, so instead, flinching happens at job interviews or when you’re asking a girl to the prom. Those things get magnified. Your privledged world problems become the bear and you treat them that way.
What does the flinch and bears have in common?
They’re changes in the status quo. This used to mean danger, so that’s how your flinch reflex sees them. It attempts to stop the changes from happening, using the same fight or flight mechanism. So your heart starts beating fast. Your palms get moist. TIme distorts. Not for bears, but for hard conversations and quitting your job. But that reaction is backwards. You don’t need adrenaline to get through these things - you just need to do them.
Curiosity is why kids touch burners.
They want to know how things work. They’re interested and they’re not spoiled by the flinch. They just do it. They test their environment, and stop when it hurts. The scars they get are medals they’ve won, not deformities. They use the scars and pain to understand how the world works - to grow and get more confident.
The lessons you learn best are those you get burned by.
Without the scar, there’s no evidence or strong memory.
Why should you forget secondhand learning?
It leaves no scars. It doesn’t provide the basic understanding that sites in the body as well as the brain. There is no trace of it passing, might as well be a dream.
Why should you focus on firsthand learning? Gaining knowledge by experience
It uses the conscious and unconscious to process the lesson, and it uses all your senses. When you fall down, your whole motor system is involved. You feel it in your gut.
Why do we need to test our limits?
You’ll settle on other peoples limits of you. To map out the limits of your world you need to test what your capable of inside it. Make mistakes, resist the flinch and feel the lessons that come with the process.
The anxiety of the flinch is almost always worse than the pain itself.
You need more scars, you need to live. This is the only way to challenge the flinch
Why should you focus on starting a journey? climbing the bottom of the mountain?
Looking at the tops of the peaks looks to far away, but you’ll get stronger as you keep climbing. You quite before the pain sets in because of fear of the flinch. The path will toughen, but so will you in response.
Why should you do the opposite of your habits? Challenge your personal status quo?
It builds up your tolerance to the flinch and its power over you.
Ralph Wado Emerson on the flinch:
Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
Why do so many people want to see the antarctic but never do?
It’s both frightening and compelling. It’s also unpredictable. But getting lost is not fatal. Almost every time, it will make your world bigger. You can look at the edges of your map, the places you were unsure about. “HERE BE DRAGONS!!!”
Homework Assignment #1. Challenge a flinch
Think of one minor thing in your work life that makes you feel anxious and flinch. NOW GO DO IT ANY DAMN WAY!!!
The ability to withstand the flinch comes with what knowledge?
The future will be better then the past!! You can come through challenges and be better then before. The more positive you are, the easier it is to accept this. Move forward and accept tough situations, not the breakup, the job loss, the injury, you’ll recover and end up fine.
What is the first step in training to fight the flinch?
Stop seeing everything as a threat. Doing this requires exposure. If you’ve been punched in the face, you won’t be afraid to fight a mugger. Build your base of confidence by having a vaster set of experiences to call upon and you’ll realize you can handle more than you used to. Doing the uncomfortable is key. It widens your circle of comfort.
