The Courage to be Disliked Flashcards
grasp the Adlerian principles
What is self-acceptance
according to Adlerian psychology?
Accepting one’s irreplaceable
‘this me’ just as it is
and having the courage
to change what one can change.
How does self-affirmation differ from self-acceptance?
Self-affirmation involves lying to oneself such as pretending to be 100% ok when you’re not.
Self-acceptance involves accepting one’s true state (e.g. 60%) and working toward improvement.
What is the essence of confidence in others?
Believing unconditionally in others without concern for security.
What helps overcome the fear of being taken advantage of?
Self-acceptance
which helps one separate
others’ tasks from their own.
Why do people avoid change?
They lack the courage
to sacrifice current pleasures
and fear the effort
needed to change.
What is the ‘life-lie’
in Adlerian psychology?
Blaming others
or one’s environment
to avoid confronting life tasks.
What is the key
to changing oneself?
Taking the first step
without waiting for others or
external conditions to change.
What is the difference
between a feeling of inferiority
and an inferiority complex?
A feeling of inferiority can drive growth
while an inferiority complex involves
using the feeling as an excuse
to avoid challenges.
What causes people to boast?
A strong feeling of inferiority
which they try to mask
with bragging
or superiority.
How should one pursue superiority healthily?
By striving toward one’s ideal self
not by comparing
oneself to others.
What is the
‘separation of tasks’
concept?
Understanding that
each person has their own tasks
and you should not interfere
with tasks that are not yours.
Why is
the desire for recognition
unfree?
It forces one to live
according to others’ value systems
restricting freedom.
How can you respond
to personal attacks?
Step away
from the power struggle
and avoid reacting
to provocation.
What changes when you view people as comrades?
The world appears
as a safe pleasant place
and interpersonal problems decrease.
What is the essence of work?
Making a contribution to the common good and affirming one’s worth through usefulness to others.
Why is labour not just about earning money?
It is a way to feel ‘I am of use to someone’ and affirm existential worth.
What is ‘community feeling’?
A sense of belonging and commitment to the community achieved by asking ‘What can I give to this person?’ rather than ‘What will they give me?’
Why is it important to view oneself as part of the community?
It fosters a sense of belonging and helps overcome feelings of isolation.
What is the relationship between freedom and being disliked?
True freedom involves living according to one’s principles even if it means being disliked by others.
Why should one not fear being disliked?
Being disliked is a sign of exercising freedom and living authentically.
How do horizontal relationships differ from vertical ones?
Horizontal relationships are based on equality while vertical ones involve judgment praise or superiority.
Why does Adlerian psychology reject vertical relationships?
Vertical relationships manipulate others and undermine their confidence while horizontal relationships encourage mutual respect.
What is teleology in Adlerian psychology?
It is the study of the purpose of a phenomenon, rather than its cause.
