The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read Flashcards
197: Eagle Mountain Elementary School (Fort Worth, Texas)
Teachers experimented with extending break to one hour, more than twice as long as before.
Result teachers: …
Result parents: more creative and more social
Monster under bed, feeling sad, overwhelming frustration etc all makes sense when knowing the context. If the context isn’t obvious …
Example clingy case of 8 year old…
That doesn’t mean there isn’t one.
Example: 8 year old is very clingy day and night … was left in car when he was 2 for too long, found him crying. Small thing for parents but huge for him when he was little
Not telling or omitting important information?
Parental lying, can dull the instincts of a child.
Cause of parents omitting information m, biological dad was drunk, often away and died in car accident. Son was stealing etc until told the truth. He felt all those years that parents weren’t honest. Felt it in his body’s
Behavior is a form of …
Communication (case of stealing son)
Child tells lie to tell an emotional truth? Example
Yes, even sometimes a form of self-soothing.
Example: dead goldfish
211 Researcher Victoria Talwar, research at two schools in West Africa with different disciplinary regimes: One more western (discuss, maybe detention, other beaten for misdemeanor.
Result …
Children second school lied more quick.
How: three objects in room and telling what they are based on the sound. Researcher would shortly leave the room …
Rule of thumbs for setting a boundary …
Is to define yourself, not the child. Define how you feel (I’m finding the music too loud, ik hungry and want to eat lunch) and not the child (your music is too loud, it’s late and you have to go home to eat).
Might even sound better to say the latter (you can eat), but it’s not the real reason.
227 what is helping?
Helping someone is facilitating someone to help themselves. E.g. choosing university and study, reminding of open days
Share how you feel with them (kids). Like …
But don’t forget to …
I felt scared when you … I felt upset when you …
Share positive feelings: I felt so proud of you when… I was so in love with you when …
How to keep lines of communication open? More likely to confide in a parent when …
- don’t sign off their feelings as silly
- listen without judging
- validate their experience of themselves
228 The importance of doing things together, hanging out together …
…
230 Children behave …
As they are done to.
