the acid test Flashcards

1
Q

start

A

you know ben, my boss, ben trevers

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2
Q

the ginger guy

A

yeah but he’s quite like… he’s not ginger in like a rupert grint-y way he is a hot ginger

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3
Q

dont exist

A

yeah they do like sean slater from eastenders and, and that guy that does the army and shouty stuff like damien lewet

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4
Q

lewis

A

what?

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5
Q

damien lewis

A

yeah he’s hot

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6
Q

get on with it

A

what

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7
Q

ben…

A

no well ben… I asked ben to take me to that dinner you know the one at the savoy

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8
Q

with the contract guy?

A

yeah, like there is this big dinner with everyone from work and the sister company which actually makes more money and they are looking for people to transfer so I want to go and I said to Ben would he take me. And ben was all like “so you’re asking me out” and I was like, I was like kind of “not really Mr Trevers” because I don’t know I was being a bit flirty and stuff

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9
Q

standard

A

and I don’t know what to do

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10
Q

sorry whats the problem

A

it’s like he’ll take me and stuff

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11
Q

good

A

yeah but like you know

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12
Q

god, you say “like” a lot

A

sorry it’s like… fuck, it’s lik… its a nervous thing

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13
Q

dana what’s the problem?

A

what?

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14
Q

will he not take you?

A

no he said he would if like, if, he might you know if like

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15
Q

what

A

you know go out with him

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16
Q

i thought you hd to go out with him to the dinner

A

no, like, like…

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17
Q

can you just say it?

A

oh it doesn’t matter

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18
Q

oh not this again

A

no it doesn’t matter

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19
Q

nope

A

yeah it doesn’t matter

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20
Q

“you must, must tell us”

A

no I won’t it’s embarrassing talk about something else

21
Q

go on you’ve caught our interest

A

no it’s nothing just ben you know

22
Q

no we don’t know

A

like he will take me and everything it’s just… you know

23
Q

no what?

A

if i have sex with him

24
Q

what?

A

if i have sex with him

25
Q

What?

A

IF I HAVE SEX WITH HIM

26
Q

fucking hell

A

no no it doesn’t matter

27
Q

sit up

A

no it doesn’t matter

28
Q

fucking report him

A

no you don’t understand and i want to go to this dinner

29
Q

they’ve just done up the savoy

A

yeah i know, i looked on the website it looks amazing

30
Q

have you both gone fucking mad

A

no you don’t understand i like him and he wasn’t like “you must have sex with me”

31
Q

what was he like?

A

like you know like “oh so if you’re going to be my date it better be a proper date” and stuff

32
Q

are you sure he meant you have to have sex he wasn’t just flirting

A

no like at first but then he was obviously so serious because he said “I want to see you before we go then, check we are compatible”. and he was saying he isn’t doing anything tonight and…

33
Q

what a fucking creep

A

no he’s like really sexy and wasn’t doing it in a creepy way

34
Q

he’s a freak

A

shut up you don’t understand, like Jess what do you think?

35
Q

you go on instagram way too much

A

what shall I do?

36
Q

i’m sorry about my dad

A

no he’s cool

37
Q

he’s being fucking annoying i’m really sorry

A

no it’s cool i like him he’s funny

38
Q

poor jim

A

yeah be a bit nicer to him Jess

39
Q

what?

A

you are a bit

40
Q

…… “aw bless look at the big overgrown baby”

A

oi chill out jess, you alright?

41
Q

what?

A

your mum and everything

42
Q

and you know that i’m a heartless bitch

A

kind of jess

43
Q

i don’t hate him

A

oh whatever guys…

44
Q

….. i threw up on him when I was a baby and that’s what started it?

A

what, he was mean to you when you were younger

45
Q

sorry my dad didn’t fuck me

A

oh jess

46
Q

you can’t say my feelings don’t count because my dad wasn’t a smack head or something

A

aw poor jim

47
Q

….. my understanding friends who are so sympathetic towards my feelings

A

your feelings don’t count because you’re drunk

48
Q

what a fucking tragedy

A

oh fuck’s sake shut up you two jesus you both are so like highly strung, like i dunno just calm down we can order some chinese or like just have another drink

49
Q

ah that’s always the answer

A

do you want to piss everyone off?