Teachers Kid

Question 1

Okay, rule number one wen your mother is a teacher…

Answer 1

Don’t tell anybody

Question 2

Of course, this never works because

Answer 2

The whole school will find out as soon as they hear your last name but at least for the first few minutes of every school year, you’re a free man

Question 3

Do you know what it’s like to

Answer 3

Have your own mother assign two hours of homework to your class then have them all turn around and stare at you like somehow it’s all your fault?

Question 4

Look guys,

Answer 4

I was born her son. I take no responsibility for anything else!

Question 5

Man, it’s like you walk around all day

Answer 5

With a big T-K tattooed to your forehead. Teachers kid!

Question 6

Your mom will

Answer 6

Walk into class and the whole place is goin nuts

Question 7

Look, we’re seventh

Answer 7

Graders…that’s our job, okay?

Question 8

Carlin will be on the ground wrestling with Andrew

Answer 8

While Cody is busy punching Craig in the back, while Amanda is telling this really loud story to Amber while Darren is carrying on a conversation with the blackboard.

Question 9

Book ads are being kicked around the class,

Answer 9

Hitting poor Adam in the back of the head and causing him to fall into Chelsea’s lap while the whole class laughs about how they must be in love

Question 10

This of course causes Chelsea to have a

Answer 10

Hissy fit and she hits the first person she sees which just happens to be me who was just sitting there minding my on business.

Question 11

Chelsea has a really good

Answer 11

Right hand for a girl and her whack knocks me into the floor and I go scooting right down the center aisle.

Question 12

That’s when I look up into the fiery eyes of my

Answer 12

Mother the teacher who shouts, “John Daniel! Look what you’ve done!”

Question 13

“But Mom…!”

Answer 13

“Sit down! We’ll talk about this when we get home!”

Question 14

No other kid in the class has to

Answer 14

Hear that…“we’ll talk about it when we get home.”

Question 15

Face it, when you guys get in trouble with a teacher,

Answer 15

It only lasts until the bell rings.

Question 16

When I get in hot water,

Answer 16

It lasts all the way through school, all the way home, through supper… And right before I got to sleep mom will come in and remind me what a pain I am to have in class

Question 17

All of your mothers come in at night and say,

Answer 17

Good night sweetheart. Sweet dreams. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.

Question 18

When you have your mother for a teacher, all you get is

Answer 18

I’m really disappointed in you son. Have a nice night. Geesh!

Question 19

It’s like serving a prison sentence where

Answer 19

All your fellow inmates get out of jail every night while you stay and eat with the warden

Question 20

In fourth grade I decided

Answer 20

To change my name

Question 21

All the way to school I was

Answer 21

Thinking up new names but everything I thought of was already taken. I was beginning to panic

Question 22

I walked into class that morning thinking,

Answer 22

I gotta think of a new name! I gotta think of a new name!

Question 23

The teacher called role and asked each of us our names and I was

Answer 23

Starting to sweat. I had to think of something quick! So I looked around the room for any sort of name, I spied a nutrition poster on the blackboard and blurted out, my name is prairie farms, ma’am

Question 24

I couldn’t tell time yet but I think the class laughed

Answer 24

For three days. Even last year they were still calling me the milkman.

Question 25

And why does everybody think that just because your mom is a teacher

Answer 25

That somehow you sneak into her computer at night and get the answers to the tests? Are you kiddin? She’d kill me!… Then she’d say, I’m very disappointed in you, John Daniel

Question 26

And you kiss all the good

Answer 26

Gossip. Joe and Janelle will be in the middle of some hot conversation about one of the teachers, then I’ll walk up and the air suddenly gets very icy.

Question 27

Oh hi john. Nice day

Answer 27

What’re you two talkin about? “Uhh…social studies” they’ll say. We’re not in social studies. “Oh. Then it might have been something else. Nice day, isn’t it John?” Ugh, I miss all the juicy stuff.

Question 28

And another thing… When one of you have a really hard homework assignment and

Answer 28

You take it to your mom to help you, does she say, “I told you how to do this in class!”

Question 29

No! You guys can come up with a bunch of lame excuses like

Answer 29

“The teacher didn’t explain it very well, mom!” Or We had a substitute today and he was a real whacko.”Or the teacher just gave the assignment then went home sick.”

Question 30

Just try those lines when your mother is the teacher.

Answer 30

I told you how to do this in class! I’m very disappointed in you, John Daniel.

Question 31

Okay, now comes the part of the speech where you’re supposed to say,

Answer 31

But you know, all in all its really great to have a mom for a teacher. ( long silence ) yep, that would sure make a nice, sweet ending to a speech… If it were true!

Question 32

Okay, here’s alternate ending number one that I’ve memorized

Answer 32

See what you think. You know, it’s really great having a mother for a teacher!

Question 33

You can always get

Answer 33

Help at home and she understands what it’s like to be a parent and a teacher. I just love having my mom as a teacher!

Question 34

I added that last part because my speech. Psych sent me down to

Answer 34

Give this speech to my mom’s class. I said, “Oh, no, not for my mom’s class.” He really understood. He said, “John Daniel, I’m very disappointed in you!”