Stanley Cups Winners Flashcards
1915
Vancouver Millionaires (PCHA) beat Ottawa Senators (NHA) Big Brass Cougar Idol with Victoria mountain peaks in the back ground. But now picture a Millionaire saying that’s not right this is my Idol. The A Senator somes up saying no its mine. The millionaire slaps the Senator in the face saying. Get a hold of yourself my good man. The Senator feels shame and puts lets go of the idol slinking into the darkness in greedy embarrassment. Why? Because the Vancouver Millionairs beat the Ottawa Senators for the cup.
1916
Montreal Canadiens (NHA) beat Portland Rosebuds (PCHA) Big Beautiful Daisy blowing in the wind with Montreal Canadiens Home Jerseys as peddles. The candiens daisy is massive. Picture it down on the docks growing out of cement and beneath it, withering because its sun is drowned out by the daisy is s tiny Rosebud. Why because the Montreal Canadiens beat the Portland Rosebuds.
1917
Seattle Metropolitans (PCHA) beat Montreal Canadiens (NHA) Picture a large minature metropolitan city made of tofu growning up out of the ground in a medow. Picture the ToFu mini metropolitan ciy destroying whatever was in the medow including the Montreal Canadiens Daisy.
1918
Toronto[23] (NHL) beat Vancouver Millionaires (PCHA) Pictue a Dog sitting in front of Maple Leaf Gardens Barking at the arena. Top hatted Millionaire walks by tell the DoG to “shut up”. The millinoaire the tries to open the arena door and go inside but the arena will not open the door the this animal hating Nevous Riche. The DoG stops barking and begins to laugh and roll around pointing at the Millionaire. Hahahah. you loser the DoG says. Toronto Arenas beat the Vancouver Millionaires.
1919
Montreal Canadiens (NHL) vs. Seattle Metropolitans (PCHA) – Series cancelled after the fifth game because of the flu epidemic – Stanley Cup not awarded beat Canadiens C puking up tape on large minature city
1920
Ottawa Senators (NHL) beat Seattle Metropolitans (PCHA) Picture Dora the Explora with a Senators helmet on ruling over a large minature metropolitan city. What does this mean? Must mean that the Ottawa Senators defeated the Seattle Metropolitans in the Stanley Cup finals. Picture Dora riding on her chariot with her senators helmet on around the metropolitan minature city laughing at it.
1921
Ottawa Senators (NHL) beat Vancouver Millionaires (PCHA) Picture a massive foam finger Senators Hand. Picture Dora with the foam hand slapping millinaires as they come up to her. This must mean that the Ottawa Senators beat the Vancouver Millionares for the Stanley Cup.
1922
Toronto St. Pats (NHL) beat Vancouver Millionaires (PCHA) Picture an onion that gets angry turns green and bulks up into a shamrock like the hulk. Picute the peddles of the shamrock as muscles. Picture a cowering Top Hatted Millionaire throwing money at this Hulk of a Shamrock. Picture the Shamrock laughing and throwing its head back as it squishes the millionaire into the top hat. See the Hulk Shamrock continue to laugh and throw its head back.
1923
Ottawa Senators (NHL) beat Edmonton Eskimos (WCHL) Picture someone shitting out a Senators Helmet Enima. Picture how painful that helmet is coming out their backside but picutre the final explosion of poo river and helmet coming out as an Dora Senators Helmet but whats that Senators Dora looks over to see and Edmonton Eskimo? What the fuck? What the fuck are you doing here Senator Dora says. You are playing the wrong fucking sport pal. Beat it. Then picture a sheepish Eskimo scourying away. Ottawa Senators beat the Edmonton Eskimos…. at HOCKEY????
1924
Montreal Canadiens (NHL) beat Calgary Tigers (WCHL) Picture a pig with a Canadiens Jersey on Oink .. Ing as he waddles along. Picture a Flaming Tiger sitting there waiting licking his lips for this little Canadiens Fan Piggy. As the pig waddles by a farmer reaches down grabs the flaming tiger and throws him into the feed grinder. The tiger is chopped up and deposited into the feed trough. The little oinking Candiens pig smiles and waddles up to the trough and eating the flaming tiger. This must be the Canadiens beating the Calgary (hense the flames) Tigers in the Stanley Cup finals.
1925
Victoria Cougars (WCHL) beat Montreal Canadiens (NHL) Picture the cougar purring as he runs his nails down the wall looking like he wants to eat you. Piture the cougar watching this scene with the pig and the tiger. When he pig is done his meal and the farmer leaves the pig starts to hear the nails on the wall and looks over. The pig squeels in horror as the cougar pounces on him and rips him limb from limb.
1926
Montreal Maroons (NHL) beat Victoria Cougars (WHL) Picture a nose with a french mustashe when the camera pans back you notice that the nose and french mustache is attached to a maroon M. Picture the Maroon french mustache nose sneezing and blowing the cougar away.
1927
Ottawa Senators (C) beat Boston Bruins (A) Picture the Ottawa Senators Helmet Logo Greeting the Boston Bruins Bear at the iNFo desk. The Bruins Bear saying “one ticket to Montreal please” and the Ottawa Senators Helmet Dora shaking her head and giving him a ticket otta town and pointing to one of the panflets of wilderness and saying “this is where you belong”. The bear puts his head down gets onto is fours and waddles out defeated.
1928
New York Rangers (A) beat Montreal Maroons (C) Picture the New York Rangers chick sitting in a lawn chair eNJoying a coke-a-cola and snacking on a Maroon M.
1929
Boston Bruins (A) beat New York Rangers (A) Picture the Big Bad Bruins Bear logo with ZZzzzZZ coming from his mouth because he is having a nap. The picture our sexy fucking Rangers Jersey smoking hot chick in bed with the bear as the scene widdens in your view. The smoking hot Rangers chick is giving his sholder a shake so she can get some action. The bear just pulls the covers tighter and doesn’t budge. HAHAHA how does it feel biAtch! (but honestly what is the fucking bear thinking? )
1930
Montreal Canadiens (C) beat Boston Bruins (A) Picture a horse with the Canadiens flag drapped over it. You can also picture it creaping out from under the sleeping bear and galloping away.
1931
Montreal Canadiens (C) beat Chicago Black Hawks (A) Picture the Canadiens MaRe ridding along with the Chicago Blackhawks Indian on his back. The Indian is whoooping it up and yelling and crumpling the horses Candiens flag underneath him. The horse jumps into a moat they happen to be passing by the Indian so shocked by this move says in a petrified face “I can’t swim” I can’t Swim” the horse smiiles and says “I Can”. The indian drowns and the Candiens Horse swims.
1932
Toronto Maple Leafs (C) beat New York Rangers (A) Picture the dark sky with a moon that is glowing Toronto Maple Leaf leaf with the faintest hint of blue shining from it. Hear the song Blue Moon I saw you standing alone playing in the back ground. So perfect for this image. Blue Maple Moon standing alone as Cup CHampions. Picture our hot Rangers Chick in nothing but her jersey still looking longingly at the Blue Maple Leaf Moon. Picture the Maple Leaf Moon coming down from the sky and Banging the shit out of the hot rangers chick. Finally! At least someone from TOronto gets to bang her!
1933
New York Rangers (A) beat Toronto Maple Leafs (C) Picture the New York Rangers girl almost naked with only her Rangers Jersey on but now she has face paint and white gloves on and she is a mime and she is miming the stanley cup over her head while she mimes spanking a Blue Maple Leaf doll.
1934
Chicago Black Hawks (A) beat Detroit Red Wings (A) Picture a Native (Blackhawk) with is small axes chopping at a bunch of mice scourying around a rink. Some of the mice have Red Wings. The Blackhawk Indian simply picks up these mice cuts their wings off and then lets them go so he can chase and chop the shit out of them more.
1935
Montreal Maroons (C) beat Toronto Maple Leafs (C) Picture a purple clad french MuLe. You think hey buddy I woudn’t try to pick up a chick with that get up on. You are now the Blue Moon Maple Leaf and you just banged the NY Ranges Hot Jersey chick so you think you will tell this Maroon MuLe whats what. As you approach the MuLe back kicks you in the face and the Maple Leaf moon is thrown completely out of the picture.
1936
Detroit Red Wings (A) beat Toronto Maple Leafs (C) Picture a Pair of Red Wings flapping though a maze searching for a way out. A blue Maple Leaf standing on one of the branches that was uncut on the green maze. The blue maple leaf says I know the way out. So the Red Winged bird picks up the maple leaf in is beak and they fly toward the exit on the Maple Leafs direction as the Red Winged bird flys out of the MaZe the bird drops the leaf back into the maze and the Leaf screems “NOOOoooooooo” as it falls back to earth.
1937
Detroit Red Wings (A) beat New York Rangers (A) Picture Marlon Brando in his Mafia outfit with a tommy gun and a Red Winged arm saying “My Red Wings just won the Stanley Cup” in is raspy voice. “Its time to celebrate”. The camera pans over to show the NY Ranges Jersey girl giving Red Winged Marlon a blow job under the desk. Wow this girl is everywhere. Your heart breaks a little.
1938
Chicago Black Hawks (A) beat Toronto Maple Leafs (C) Picture a native drinking from his Blackhawks mug
1939
Boston Bruins beat Toronto Maple Leafs Picture a mop with a Big Bad Bruin bear on the end of it with his Bruins jersey on mopping the floor and soaking up a glass of blue Koolade that has spilled on the floor. The Koolade is totally mopped up and absorbed with his fur. Who that’s an absorbant bear. Not even a speck of blue left?
1940
New York Rangers beat Toronto Maple Leafs Picture New York Rangers Jersey Girl cruising down the Gardner Expressway. As she passes the ACC she tucks and rolls out of the car sending into the ACC blowing it to smithereens.
1941
Boston Bruins beat Detroit Red Wings Picture a coyote nipping at a Big Bad Bruins Bears ankles and the Big Bear looking down at him and crushing him with his foot (remember we are talking about 1941 so this is not who the Bruins played to wi the Cup)
1942
Toronto Maple Leafs beat Detroit Red Wings Picture the greedy little Toronto Maple Leaf in front of Maple Leaf Gardens pulling piles of coins towards him that he has taken from fans. Counting them and saying mine mine mine mine like Golumn from Lord Of The Rings. While a poor Tinny Tim in a decrepid Red Wings jersey begs for chang behind him.
1943
Detroit Red Wings beat Boston Bruins Picture a Red Wing singing “Hello My Honey Hello My Baby Hello My Part Time Gal” as it walks arcoss the stage and exists stage left. What is this Red Wing doing? Oh it must just be a cameo. Red Wings must have won the cup in 1943.
1944
Montreal Canadiens beat Chicago Black Hawks Picture the french mustach Canadiens C and a Blackhawk sitting down for a cup of CoCo. The french mustach C gets upset with the Blackhawk and pours the CoCo over the Blackhawk.
1945
Toronto Maple Leafs beat Detroit Red Wings Picture a Kowala Bear looking so cute as he hangs off of the CN Tower stoned on Eucolyptus leaves and wearing his Toronto Maple Leafs jersey. As he is munching on the leaves a Red Wing flies by and in a flash he grabs the Red Wing and shoves it in his mouth going back to he previous stoned slow appearance.
1946
Montreal Canadiens beat Boston Bruins Picture a Frenchman at the airport in Montreal waiting for his suit case at the conveyor belt but it is stuck. He says to the man next to him. Monsieur Monsieur could you pass me my CaSe “Si Vous Plait” Don’t forget that his CaSe is a gaudy Montreal Canadiens suitcase with flags hanging off of the side of it. Picture the Canaidiens C slapped in the centre of it and the red and white colours. What a disgusting suit CaSe. The customs officer takes one look at his case and see fur coming slightly out of the side of the case. Says you know it is illegal to sneak live animals into the country. Don’t worry he says the bear is dead.
1947
Toronto Maple Leafs beat Montreal Canadiens Picuture a rasist Maple Leaf walking into a Hawdy Tawdy Café on Bay Street saying hey and the french waiters serving their expensive cafÉs and saying hey in Toronto we dont have CafÉs we have coffe shops beat the Canadiens
1948
Toronto Maple Leafs beat Detroit Red Wings Picture the racist Maple Leaf being taken away for his racist remarks and his drunken belligerence and thrown in a CaGe. This must be the drunk CaGe. He is sitting there chanting GO Leafs Go and pissing on a Red Wings Jersey.
1949
Toronto Maple Leafs beat Detroit Red Wings Remember this is the only way you should picture the Stanley Cup, in blue and with a Maple Leaf in the centre of it. Forever the stanley cup will be pictured this way in my mind :-) in blue with a white Maple Leaf in the centre of it. Picture the blue coolaide in the cup and floating dead inside the cup is a dead Red Wing.
1950
Detroit Red Wings beat New York Rangers Picture a sneeky fucking Red Wings Pouring a Red Elixer into the drink of our smoking hot half naked Rangers girls drink and he passing out for the sneeky fucking Red Wing to take advantage of her. Poor smoking hot chick in nothing but a Rangers jersey.
1951
Toronto Maple Leafs beat Montreal Canadiens Picture a Toronto Maple Leaf with a lead pipe beat the shit out of a Montreal Canadiens C. And the C begging for Mercy. “Please. Please. Oouuuh Ouhhh. As the lead pipe, that has a surprising blue tint to it, rains blows on this pathetic pathetic Canadiens C from the hands of the extremely angry Toronto Maple Leaf. Picture the Leaf laughing hysterically as he beats the Pathetic Pathetic Canadiens C with it.
1952
Detroit Red Wings beat Montreal Canadiens Picture the MGM (Metro Goldwyn Mayer) lion in a picture on the wall roaring and the flying away with Red Wings up into the sky. If you want you can picture him chewing on the Pathetic Pathetic Montreal Canadiens C and the C pathetically whining as he gets chewed. “Why doesn’t anyone like me” .
1953
Montreal Canadiens beat Boston Bruins Picture a lama with his white and red Montreal Canadiens Jersey on, sitting in Seizen with his eyes closed and a stupid grin on his face twirling his stupid french mustache. The fucking french Montreal Canadiens Lama has slang a bear. It is the Big Bad Bruins bear. It lays dead at his feet while he twirls his french mustache and grins. Fucking Canadiens Lama.
1954
Detroit Red Wings beat Montreal Canadiens Picture a peaceful tranquil scene in from of a LaKe so peaceful so tranquil but it is. You notice the lake water slowly turning red bright with what appears to be Red Wing coloured blood. You look around to see the bird that are chirping and flying around have red wings logos for wings. This must mean the Red Wings have won the Stanley Cup. This looks like absolute hell with the blood lake and the deviled red wing birds. Thank God I am not there. Wait what is that cowering being that tree? It is the pathetic pathetic Montreal Canadiens C. Shivering with fear and looking up at the devil red wing birds.
