Staffing Flashcards
Stages of Staffing Process
Imagine Modern School Vasant Vihar. Boman Irani goes to staff room. There are steps outside which he climbs and then goes down and gets in.There is a stage setup there.
1. Estimating Manpower Requirement - Sun rises, and as the sun rays come in he is able to see empty seats. Seeing the empty seats he thinks how many people are required, i.e. he estimates the manpower requirement.
2. Recruitment - He goes outside to the main gate puts a shoe on top of the gate, and puts an ad for recruitment.
3. Selection - As soon as the ad is there 100s of people come rushing, and he then takes each of their interview under the tree near the main gate.
4. Placement and Orientation - Whoever gets selected, he picks them up and takes them to the staff room, opens the door, and places them, gives them mint to eat and gives them oriental fan.
5. Training and Development - He tells all of them that there is a function coming and up, and he wants to train them for that. They don’t agree, so then Dev D takes a knife and comes in train, and threaten them to do the function.
6. Performance and Appraisal - They perform, but boman doesn’t think they’re performing well, so he puts vicks in their eyes. After that, everyone gives massive applause.
7. Promotion and Career Planning - The principal comes on the stage and promotes the dancers in the front, and gives them ovens which, after planning where to take, they put in their car’s rear and take home
8. Compensation - She further gives some of them, while they’re loading their cars, plates with comb and pen on them and paise too.
Importance of Staffing
Boman Irani goes to staff room with VIP.
1. Helps in Finding Competent Personnel - He tells the music teacher that he needs help in finding 2-3 competent personnel for competention.
2. Better Performance - Auditions are underway in the auditorium, and before the performances start, they put butter on stage to see better performances.
3. Improves Job Satisfaction - The first person comes and slips, so he says that he is not satisfied. He calls for the second person, and she improvises and acts as if she is doing job of cleaner, and the music teacher applauses like crazy and says he is now satisfied with life.
4. Optimum Utilisation of Human Resources - He tells her to sit and does her human makeup utilising a bottle of optimum sauces. After the makeup, she does not look human anymore, but like an alien.
5. Continous Survival - He then sends her out again saying that you have to practice continously as sir will come and take viva. So then she practices continiously for hours until sir comes and takes viva.
Duties of Human Resources
You are Piku. Piku wants to do security duty for humans, so he takes sauces ki bottles and goes in search of humans.
1. Analysing Jobs - The sun is rising and He goes to office in search of job where he says Anna eating lays at reception.
2. Recruitment - He enters without shoes, and the receptionist instantly screams at him saying wear shoes and come then only we will recruit you.
3. Training and Development - Receptionist then says before anything you first go to that tree where Dev D is sitting and get training for him. He goes and gets training.
4. Reddressal - He gets the duty of security gaurd and wears red dress and sits at door of office.
5. Maintaining Relations - Everyone starts giving him looks and not talking to him since he’s wearing a funny red dress, so then he shoes knife and makes everyone talk to him, maintaining relations.
6. Defending Company - After he takes out knife some army people see this and run towards office. So he puts vicks on entire flooring so they all slip and he defends company.
7. Compensation - The CEO gets very happy so he gives him an oven inside which is a comb and pen and paise.
8. Welfare Schemes - He gets very happy so he buys plates whose schemat is very high. He then goes to a well in a fair and sells these plates at a 3 for 1 scheme and makes loads of money.
Merits of Internal Sources of Recruitment
There is a moti who enters and opens nal and out of the nal sauces come out.
1. Motivation to Improve Performance - Moti gets on kitchen counter and gives performance and automatically the nal improves and gives normal water.
2. Simplifies Process for Selection and Placement - A procession organiser sees theis from window and instantly selects and simply gives her mint which she passes out by and places her in the procession.
3. Transfer For Training - She then needs to be transferred to another procession through train.
4. Shifting Of Excess Workforce - When she gets on the train, she takes up excess seats so all the other workforce has to be shifted.
5. Cost Effective - Instead they just sit on top of her which is very cost effective.
Limitations of Internal Sources of Recruitment
Sauces are coming very limited through enter nal. An acruit (walnut) is distributing sauces.
1. Scope for Induction of Fresh Talent is Reduced - Tall-Ant comes and asks for sauces, so she is given scoop of fresh sauces. Tall-Ant eats some sauces, and scoop reduces.
2. New Enterprise Cannot Use Internal Sources - Some new ants enter and all ask for sauces, but acruit says no as new ant and new enters cannot use enter nal.
3. Employees May Become Letheargic - The old ant has to go for competition keeps on eating from nal and becomes lethargic.
4. Spirit of Competition Reduces - The old ant goes to the competition very fat. A spirit comes and all competition runs away and reduces.
5. Reduces Productivity - All labourers working at competition stadium also orun away from spirit so productivity reduces
External Sources of Staffing
Economics External takes sauce bottle and throws it on staff. She can’t get find staff.
1. Advertisement - Teacher tells her that don’t worry, we have put advertisement in sun shaped newspaper.
2. Casual Callers - Next morning, she gets loads of calls. She has a shoe in which you can see the person whose calling. Everyone is wearing casuals and calling very casually so she gets angry.
3. Employment Exchange - So she storms out and under a tree sees employment written on a board. When she inquires, you can exchange money to buy employees. The employees start giving her looks so she runs.
4. Placement Agencies and Management Consultants - She reaches the door of a management consutancy She goes inside, says that she wants to consultunt the manager as she wants something. They place a mint on the desk and tell her to wait as all agents are busy.
5. Campus Placements - She gets tired of waiting so she storms out. She takes knife and goes to DU as it is dangerous there.
6. Labour Contractors - Over there, she sees a labourer on a tractor. He is heading towards her, so she puts vicks on him and goes away.
7. Advertising on Television - She then goes and sits on a Dhaba because she is hungry after all this running around. She sees there is an oven shaped TV. Ad is coming on TV.
8. Direct Recruitment - The ad on TV shoes Director Karan Johar eating acruit from plate.
9. Web Publishing - Karan Johar wants to drink some wine so he decides to go to pub. When he reaches the pub door he sees that there is a spider web on it. He cuts it with a wine glass and enters.
10. Recommendations of Employees - Inside there is a hen sitting on chair. So he asks for recommendations for new employees and actors from the Hen. The hen recommends the external.
Merits of External Sources of Recruitment
In Meerut Stadium, External is eating acruit (walnut) with sauces and taking viva.
1. Competitive Spirit - There is loads of competition and a spirit is scaring people away.
2. Qualified Personnel - Quali personnel come and play their music and the spirit runs away.
3. Fresh Talent - A Tall-Ant joins the Quali people and sprays fresh deo on them.
4. Wider Choice - Everyone gets scared after smelling fresh deo, so they try and exit. When they try and exit they see they have a wide choice of doors to exit from.
Limitations of External Sources of Recruitment
There is an external sauce bottle made from acruit which gets over in a time limit. It is kept in a museum, and an external viewing is help to allow people to see it.
1. Lengthy Process - People make a lengthy line to get a chance to see it. They have to fill loads of forms and it is a lengthy process.
2. Costly Process - Once they finally reach the ticket counter, the ticket is very costly so they get annoyed and leave.
3. Dissastisfaction Among Existing Staff - Since everyone gets so disssatisfied and angry, they take dish and take action by throwing it at the existing staff of the venue.
Process of Selection
There is a job selection going on.
1. Preliminary Screening - Sun protecting black screen is being cleaned with pril to get ready for preliminary X-ray screening.
2. Selection Tests - After preliminary screening, candidates are given shoe to write exam with.
i. Inteligence Tests - Their heads are hit with shoe for intelligence tests.
ii. Aptitude Test - Api fizz drink is given to test nausea and to give energy.
iii. Personality Test - After energy given, all person are thrown into nali with only shoes in a survival of the fittest kind of test.
iv. Trade Test - Only one person comes out and that person is sent to market to trade shoe and trade test.
v. Interest Test - Lots of people are interested, and come up to him and buy the shoe.
3. Employment Interview - After exam, employee are made to sit in room and given mint before interview.
4. Reference and Background Checks - As soon as one candidate is about to enter door of interview, referee comes from background and hits him in the back and takes him to the ground to check how many push ups he can do.
5. Selection Decision - Finally, he is taken inside and there are three dishes in the front. Interviewer gives knife to select dish.
6. Medical Examination - He eats the selected dish and faints. When he wakes up, medical doctor is putting vicks on him to heal him and using stethoscope for medical examination.
7. Job Offer - Everyone exclaims that the job offer is his, and he is given an oven to celebrate his job offer.
8. Contract of Employment - On top of the oven is a plate, on which the contract of employment is signed by him.
Importance of Training and Development to the Employee
Dev D comes in train with VIP to meet employees in office.
1. More Earnings - He distributes mor and earnings to all employees.
2. Better Career - He then takes employees in a car that runs on butter.
3. More Efficiency - As the first employee enters, he sees there is a mor who is eating a fish.
4. Training Necessary for Employees - He exclaims that a train is necessary for employees to go back and forth and thats why he came in train.
Importance of Training and Development to the Organisation
Dev D comes in train playing mouth organ and stops in train station.
1. Training Equips Future Manager - He exits the train and there are a bunch of employees waiting. He equips them with futuristic vests to make them future managers.
2. Training is Systematic Learning - Everyone starts learning books and training on top of computer systems.
3. Reduces Absenteeism - Everyone is looking very absent so they are told to sing to reduce absenteeism.
4. Higher Profits - For higher profit, professor fitness comes and asks everyone to do push ups, and each push up will lead to higher profit.
