Social Awareness Flashcards
What is social awareness?
The ability to recognize and understand the moods of other individuals and an entire group of people.
Social awareness is looking outward to learn about and appreciate others.
To build this skill, you’ll find yourself observing people in all kinds of situations:
* someone from afar while you’re in a checkout line
* observing the person you’re in the middle of a conversation with
You’ll learn to pick up on:
* body language
* facial expressions
* body postures
* tone of voice
* hidden factors like deeper emotions and thoughts
Facial expressions, body language and emotions have been shown to translate across many cultures and languages.
To best use this skill:
* your lens must be clear
* you must be present and giving full attention to others
* tap into your sixth sense (emotions)
Use your sixth sense (emotions):
* Emotions can help you notice and interpret cues other people send you
What does social awareness look like?
Alfonso J. Pharmaceutical Sales Manager, Social Awareness = 96
“Alfonso has a rare talent to be able to read the emotions of others very well. He adjusts to different situations and manages to build relationships with almost anyone. Good examples are dinners, meetings, and ride-alongs with reps.”
“Alfonso does an excellent job relating to the frustrations reps have with other departments within our company. He is always looking out for his reps, and has the ability to put himself in the reps’ shoes, and ask himself what is wrong with the situation. People become very loyal to Alfonso.”
“Alfonso recognizes emotions very effectively when it comes to the end-of- month numbers and end-of-year numbers with his reps, getting the most out of his team. He was great at building relationships with the surgeons at the dinner table because he could read how to lead the conversation without them feeling like they were being controlled.”
Maya S, Organizational Development Executive, Social Awareness = 92
“Maya has an uncanny ability to spot and address the elephant in the room. She does a good job acknowledging other people’s feelings when communicating difficult news. She reflects how others are feeling, and adapts her communication style to help reach a resolution. She gets to know people on a personal level so she can better understand their perspectives and work well with them.”
“Maya is great in executive team meetings where she respectfully listens to her peers and then offers her opinion. She has a sincere interest in understanding people and offers them valuable insights based on what they’re saying or doing. She is a good team-builder who strengthens bonds within the team.”
“Maya is the most effective** ‘active listener’** I have ever seen. She is skilled at communicating the ‘context’ for her comments with the goal of ensuring understanding. She is respectful toward others while being able to establish her authority. Maya motivates and inspires people. She can uplift people and put them at ease.”
What’s a mental barrier holding me back from social awareness?
Hint: I have shy eyes
Shame
- I feel embarrassed if I’m “staring at” or “observing another (female/person)
- I’m shy to “look at someone” and afraid I’ll get their “attention” from my observing eyes, or the shame from people around “what are you looking at, HAHA, he’s looking at so and so, must mean he likes her, etc.”
- This maybe comes from my childhood when I was teased about liking some girls and was very shy and embarrassed and kept denying it and pretending not to
- I’m shy and don’t want to garner their attention
What does a lack of social awareness look like?
Craig C, Attorney, Social Awareness = 55
“Craig needs to allow others to feel good about their ideas, even when he has a better plan. He also needs to be more patient, and allow them to have equally effective plans that are just different from his plan. I would like him to seek to understand what people are feeling and thinking and notice what evidence there is regarding situations before speaking his opinion or offering solutions.”
“Craig needs to listen better. He needs to pay attention to what is being said rather than thinking about what he wants to say. It is usually apparent in his body language that he is not listening, which puts people off. I also wish that he would be more accurate when representing other people’s ideas.”
“Craig is not one to socialize. He is so focused on work and sometimes comes across as not interested in what’s going on with a person on that particular day. When he has new ideas (or ideas from his former firm), he has a hard time explaining them so the staff wil accept them. Craig should learn to listen to others with his ears and with his heart. He seems to have a ‘hardening of his positions,’ and it makes him unwilling to accept other people’s viewpoints or include their input in his decisions.”
Rachel M, Project Manager, Social Awareness = 62
“Rachel misses the non-technical currents in meetings. The mood and evolution of opinions are lost on her. Rachel needs to learn to absorb the non-technical, human side of meetings and become a student of people and their feelings.”
“Rachel gets singularly focused on a particular issue and does not see the forest for the trees. This can get frustrating for those of us around her. She is typically oblivious to our reactions. She should check with everyone around the table to calibrate where their head is at before getting too enmeshed in the details of her project. She would be better served by framing the topic in large chunks rather than taking everyone through the details straight away.”
“Rachel can sometimes get so caught up in her own thoughts during meetings and one-on-one conversations that she is not really listening to either the explicit or implicit dialogue going on. This makes her less effective because she is not actively participating in the ongoing conversation and misses opportunities to influence the direction. Rachel needs to work on considering issues from the other person’s agenda or point of view so that she can more effectively influence, or at least directly address, their perspective. It will also help her to work on making her conversations as concise and targeted as possible. People can lose interest or get confused during long explanations, or when they are unclear about the message.”
What does greet people by name mean?
Whatever the story is behind your name, it’s an essential part of your identity. It feels so good when people use your name and remember it.
Greeting someone by name is one of the most basic and influencial social awareness strategies you can adopt.
If you have a tendency to withdrawl in social situations, greeting someone by name is a simple way to stick your neck out;
Using someone’s name breaks down barriers and comes across as warm and inviting.
It allows you to stay connected in a more than superficial way
- comes across as warm, helps you stick your neck out
- practice saying “hello [NAME]” to someone in each room you enter
- put effort to remember a name, use persons name 2x during conversation, have them spell the name
- allows you to stay connected in more than a superficial way, focusing mind, increasing awareness in social situations
What does watch body language mean?
Do a Head-To-Toe Body Language assessment:
Face / Head assessement:
* Eyes - maintained eye contact (trust, caring), shifty eyes (deception)
* Smile - athentic (broad/open expression) or forced smile
* facial expressions
* eye movement
Shoulders, Torso, Limbs
* Hand Gestures
* Shoulders - slouched or held naturally upright
* Arms, hands, legs - calm or fidgetting
- The body communicates nonstop and is abundant source of information.
- Tune into body language, and begin to get loud and clear messages, noticing cues and be able to call someone’s bluff.
- The eyes communicate more than any other part of human anatomy.
- Maintain eye contact can show if a person is trustworthy, sincere, or caring.
- Shifty eyes or too much blinking can suggest deception.
What does develop a back-pocket question mean?
A back pocket question is what you use just in case you fail to find something to talk about and want to break an uncomfortable silence.
This social awareness technique buys you time so you can know someone better and shows the person you’re interested in his/her thoughts, feelings, ideas.
Action:
Pick from a handful of issues that require some explanation like work or current events, avoid politics or religion, and other potentially sensitive areas.
If a handy back pocket question injects life into the conversation, you’ve done well.
What does make timing everything mean?
Hint: What’s their frame of mind? Does it match your question
When dealing with people and their emotions, timing really is everything.
The goal is to ask the right questions at the right time with the right frame of mind, all with your audience in mind.
You wouldn’t ask for a raise when business isn’t going well and your boss is upset. You wouldn’t try to correct someone who feels threatened by you at the moment. You wouldn’t ask a friend for a favor when they seem stressed or angry.
The timing, frame of mind and question must be a match to excercise high social awareness and “make timing everything.”
Just think about how it would go if your co-worker was more emotional than ever, venting about her worries around her marriage and out of the blue, you asked her “what are your thoughts on the project?” She’d stare blankly at you, it’s like you were not even listening to her at all, conversation over.
The frame of mind and the timing of your question were way OFF.
You asked the right question at the right time for you, but totally ignored social awarness of her state and frame of mind.
The key to social awareness, and making timing everything, is to focus on the others and not yourself, so you can become more effective.
- It’s hard for me to do this, as I have trouble “holding something inside” as if I’ll forget it if I don’t share it right away (when it comes into mind)
- Strategy -> I could write it down as a note to talk to the person about it at a later date, each week I can review the conversations I’ve planned with people, schedule times (plans) to talk to them about it, or re-arrange on the fly
- this is also about self management -> I feel uncomfortable “keeping something” from someone (especially someone close), it feels like shame (guilt) of not being 100% transparent, open about every detail, it feels manipulative?
What does clear away the clutter mean?
Answer
What does plan ahead for social gatherings mean?
You plan to attend events, but do you plan for them?
Walking through the door with a plan, frees up your mental energy and brainpower **so you can focus on the present moment. **
A bit of planning not only prepares you for the event, it also helps you enjoy the event more because you’ll be less stressed and more present while there.
Action:
List on an index card, who is going to be at the event and list any talking points or to dos. Don’t be shy, carry the list with you
What does don’t take notes at meetings?
Answer
What does live in the moment mean?
Answer
Go on a 15-Minute Tour
Answer
What does watch EQ in movies mean?
Answer
Practice The Art Of Listening
Answer
