SFL 100 Flashcards
What is the effect of hanging out and hooking up on current dating culture
traditional dating is becoming rare (man asks lady out and pays for her company that night). This has led to a low number of committed relationships. The couple often questions if they are a couple if they are only hanging out, putting more emphasis on sexual experimentation and non-committance.
What is the philosophy of “Getting Ahead Before Getting Wed”
Because of pessimism about marriage success, young people now see the young adult years as a way to pursue their own personal interests and to become financially stable, thus getting ahead before getting wed.
What is the farce of the cohabitation lie?
Marriages that are preceded by cohabitation often are more likely to divorce than couples who do not cohabit before marriage (Jose O’Leary, & Moyer, 2010).
What is Elder Bednar’s belief about finding someone that fits the list?
The list is not for them. It is for you. If you want a spouse with those characteristics, then you must develop them in yourself and then someone with those characteristics will most likely be attracted to you.
Why is viewing marriage as a “couple relationship” (happiness between the spouses, sexual intimacy, good communication, etc.) an incomplete way to view a marriage?
Marriage is a divine institution and is meant to ground the couple in discipleship and covenant, or in other words being servants to God. If we not only seek for the “couple characteristics” and also seek for the alignment with God, we become grounded. So in short, there are 3 participants in a marriage.
Why can faith and discipleship dispel fears about dating and marriage?
1 Ne. 3:7 “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the things which the Lord hath commanded them.” If we are faithful and do what the Lord has asked of us then He will help us qualify and attract someone. He will enable us to live the Plan of Salvation, by helping us find a wife.
What are the two characteristics that scholars have identified are developed by married couples?
The Ability to Love and the Ability to Communicate
What is the ability to Love?
How one asserts, expresses, and defines his or her importance, and the importance of others, in intimate as well as non-intimate relationships.
What is Love?
Love is defined as the ability to be emotionally available to self and others, especially in times of need (when those we “love” are hurting or in danger of being hurt) without requirements of performance, perfection, problem-solving, or production. It requires a sense of self-worth (personal security) plus intimate regard for others.
What is personal security?
A person’s sense of self-importance, self-worth, and the ability to regulate negative affect, and feelings of secure attachment.
What is other-centerdness?
An orientation toward the importance of others and is embodied in traits such as kindness, commitment, fairness, sacrifice, forgiveness, and other personal virtues. The capacity to care for others and to allow their needs to overshadow our own.
What is the ability to communicate?
The ability to bargain, problem-solve, and make decisions; and in a marriage is most focused on reaching a consensus while respecting the rights of each individual.
The Ability to communicate requires which two primary skills?
1 - Empathetic listening (meaning listening in a way that helps the other person feel valued and understood)
2 - Clear-sending communication (being honest with what we are feeling, while still respecting their feelings).
What does Spencer W. Kimball say about the “soul-mate”?
Soul mates are fiction and illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to fid a ate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.
Why can approaching marriage with a soul-mate in mind be detrimental?
It develops unrealistic expectations. Love in marriage and dating is not trouble-free, it requires work and patience.
