Self Compassion General Flashcards
Why is it so hard to admit when we step out of line, are rude, or act impatient?
Because our ego feels so much better when we project our flaws and shortcomings on to someone else. It requires self esteem to admit fault. And it helps if we are kind to ourselves because we have higher self esteem and we know we won’t berate ourselves if we screw up.
We usually treat ___________ worst of all
Ourselves
How can being judgemental to yourself make you less honest?
Because it’s hard to admit fault if you know you’re going to treat yourself like shit. So you might bend your perception of reality to avoid self punishment. If you’re kind to yourself after a mistake, you don’t need to fear mistakes nearly as much. So you’re less likely to contort reality to avoid punishment.
Why do people think self criticism is a good thing?
Because they think it keeps them accountable or makes them work harder.
Why doesn’t self-criticism make your life better?
Because you’re disrespecting your spirit. If two parents constantly berate their kids, how likely are they to grow up happy and with a sense of self-worth?
How does self compassion improve your romantic relationship?
Because you’re filling up your love tank and therefore have more love to give. The more love you give yourself, the more love you have to give to others. People want to be around loving people.
What does compassion feel like?
Love, care, support, understanding. We give those to ourselves when we are compassionate to others and to ourself.
What are 4 components of compassion?
It is the clear seeing of suffering.
It’s the feelings of kindness for people who are suffering.
It is the desire to end suffering for someone.
It is recognizing our shared human condition.
What’s the first step in self-compassion?
Recognizing our pain. Allow the pain. Accept the pain.
If we can’t see it, we can’t move past it.
What is worthy of self-compassion?
Any kind of pain, big or small. From small embarrassments to severe trauma.
How does self-compassion make you more likely to go after your dreams?
Because the world is a lot safer when you know you’re not going to beat yourself up if you fail. When you have your own back.
What kind of emotions are provoked with self-punishment?
Shame and guilt. Emotions that don’t lead to generative drive.
How does self-compassion lead to gratitude?
It fosters positive mind-states like happiness and optimism, even in hard times.
You can always have your own back
Self compassion will be a safe haven in the dark times
How is self judgement a form of abandonment?
Our spirit, our inner child, needs encouragement. To berate him is to blame him and deny our ego’s culpability, leaving our spirit alone to take the blame and abuse.
He needs us to stand with him, not against him.