Script

Question 0

‘Someone to care for’

Answer 0

Do I smell food?

Question 1

Good day. Unstable. Definitely unstable.

Answer 1

Hey, hey! Good afternoon, miss. Sorry I can’t stop. I’m off to India to have tea with the maharajah. Cheerio.

Question 2

Bring the bread, will you, Grandpa?

Answer 2

Yes sir, certainly sir.

Question 3

And the pepper and salt, please.

Answer 3

Right away, sir. Oh! Sausage and egg, my favourite.

Question 4

How was India?

Answer 4

India? I tell you something, I got up this morning and I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.

Question 5

How he got into my pyjamas I shall never know.

Answer 5

You’ve heard it before.

Question 6

That’s terrible. We can’t let that happen, Grandpa.

Answer 6

No, defiantly no. Can’t be having any skwodging going on.

Question 7

Goodnight Daddy goodnight Grandpa.

Answer 7

Goodnight children.

Question 8

Goodnight my darlings.

Answer 8

You’ve done it now, haven’t you?

Question 9

You think Coggins might do a deal? So much a week?

Answer 9

Him down the road? Sure, He’s so mean he wouldn’t light your pipe if his house was on fire. That was lightening I heard! You know what that means? I’ll be up all night, rain pouring in.

Question 10

Why don’t you sleep in the workshop?

Answer 10

I’m the workshop? You promised to fix my bedroom roof. I shall be sitting in bed with my umbrella up all night. I wouldn’t mind but the umbrella has as many holes as the roof! When are you going to fix it, eh Caractacus?

Question 11

I will Grandpa. It’s just…

Answer 11

Caractacus, my boy. Listen… It’s time you woke up. - At your age, I did a day’s work… For a day’s pay, polishing boots. I was the smartest batman in the army. When my Brigadier went into action, the natives were so blinded by his boots, they couldn’t see to fight. Well, I’m off to bed, or should I say off to catch me death of cold.

Question 12

Goodnight Grandpa, I will look at the roof, I promise.

Answer 12

Hummmm

Question 13

Come on. What do you think of this? Isn’t she a beauty?

Answer 13

That’s a nice pile of junk, my boy.

Question 14

It needs a little work, but there’s a fine engine under here.

Answer 14

It doesn’t go, though, does it?

Question 15

We’re off! Hurray!

Answer 15

It won’t work, of course. Another catastrophe about to happen.

Question 16

Come on, Grandpa, push.

Answer 16

With my back, my boy, I have to save my strength for the West Indies, got a long way to go you know.

Question 17

Can we stay and watch?

Answer 17

We’d better go. You know what your dad’s like when he’s working.

Question 18

But Grandpa we wanted to stay and watch.

Answer 18

I’ll make you a nice cup of tea. Don’t overdo it, my boy. You might exhaust yourself. Come on! I guess my trip to the West Indies can wait a while. Don’t suppose it will go anywhere, heh.

Question 19

It’s awfully quiet in there.

Answer 19

Come on children breakfast is ready.

Question 20

He’s been there for days!

Answer 20

Come and have your breakfast.

Question 21

Daddy said the car would be finished today.

Answer 21

Darlin’ you’ll be waiting a month of Sunday’s before he’s finished that. Come on.

Question 22

Grandpa, come on. We’re going on a picnic.

Answer 22

It’ll never go, my dears. Not if he’s had anything to do with it.

Question 23

But it is going.

Answer 23

Then it’ll never stop. Anyway, it’s far too hot.

Question 24

Where are you going?

Answer 24

Me? I’ve changed my plans, I’m off to Alaska, me boy. Cheerio.

Question 25

Here we go. Mind your back, Grandpa.

Answer 25

Nasty, smelly things, mortar cars.

Question 26

“Carac - a -tacatus Potts.” “Inventor”. Typical English eccentric. That must be the inventor. Pardink me for protruding but have I the pleasure of undressing Herr… Mr Potts?

Answer 26

That’s me. What do you want? You selling something? I don’t want nothing. Excuse me, I’m off to Africa.

Question 27

Quickly! This way! Quickly! Get up the ladder! Quickly! Quickly up! Take it up! Now over here! Up! Up! Wait for me.

Answer 27

Hello. What’s your game, then? What’s going on? I’m flying.

Question 28

I don’t know

Answer 28

Caractacus my boy, I’m being kidnapped.

Question 29

What are you doing? You come down here.

Answer 29

It’s me, your own father.

Question 30

They won’t get away with that. Hold tight back there.

Answer 30

Caractacus!

Question 31

Hold on Grandpa. We’re coming! Come back, Grandpa.

Answer 31

I’m being abducted by foreigners. Caractacus!

Question 32

Don’t worry about Grandpa. He can take care of himself.

Answer 32

‘Posh!!’

Question 33

Vulgaria welcomes the brilliant Professor Potts, inventory extraordinary.

Answer 33

Professor, excuse me, sir. There seems to be some sort of mistake you see I’m not…

Question 34

You are not Professor Potts, xD inventor?

Answer 34

What would you like me to invent, sir?

Question 35

Like amphibian English motee car. Float over the credit wave of the wart.

Answer 35

It’s not that easy without my lavatory.

Question 36

24 hours nosey grindstone

Answer 36

Proper card, he is. Odd sense of humour. Stuff me head with sauerkraut.

Question 37

When I first came here, I was a midget.

Answer 37

Phew! But, I mean, a floating car! That’s impossible!

Question 38

Nothing’s impossible.

Answer 38

That’s what my son’s always saying.

Question 39

Courage, man.

Answer 39

‘Roses of success!!’

Question 40

The flying car. At last it’s mine. Send for the inventor. Now, then, fly. Fly. Come on. Fly. Fly, fly, fly. I command you to fly!

Answer 40

Hello! What’s this doing here?

Question 41

Hurry up.

Answer 41

I am doing my best, sir. Just a minute. Here’s one we haven’t tried.

Question 42

Look, there’s Chitty. She’s come to save us.

Answer 42

Hello. What’s that car doing here?

Question 43

Grandpa, are you alright?

Answer 43

Caractacus! My boy.

Question 44

That’s wiped out your cavalry.

Answer 44

But I have my second infantry battalion attacking from the rear.

Question 45

Ahh there you are young Potts, I’ve been waiting for you.

Answer 45

And that wiped out your artillery.

Question 46

Fancy you being old Bungie’s son, best batman I ever had.

Answer 46

Thank you, sir. My boy, allow me to introduce to you my brigadier.

Question 47

Potts, how about some more tea?

Answer 47

Right away , sir.

Question 48

Have I?

Answer 48

It’s the posh life for us all now my boy.

Question 49

What’s the matter with the fella?

Answer 49

He’s a bit of an eccentric, sir. A genius, of course. But defiantly an eccentric. Can’t imagine where he gets it from.