Scene 1 Flashcards
Bill: this is the end! I’ll be divorced before I’ve got married!
Rachel: Tom? Are you in there?
Bill: on your cell phone. You could have been anywhere.
Rachel. (Knocking) Tom?
Tom. Of course not- I spent most of it getting drunk with you! If she hears I then spent the rest of it with someone else, it’ll be the end-before it’s even begun!
Rachel. (Through the door) Who’s that, tom? Who’s in there?
Tom. (Thrusting the brush back.) it’s your emergency, not mine!
Rachel. Bill, is that you?
Bill. Oh my god!
Rachel. (Hammering on the door) let me in!
Bill. This is it. Goodbye wedding. (Calls through the door.) good morning, darling.
Rachel. What are you doing in there, Bill? You’re supposed to be in the other room.
Bill. It’s, er… It’s a long story.
Rachel. Well let me in.
Bill. I don’t think that’s a good idea.
Rachel. Why not?
Bill. It’s bad luck to meet before the wedding.
Rachel. Don’t be so old-fashioned. Let me in!
Bills (going to kiss Rachel) hello, darling.
Rachel. (Avoiding the kiss.) what are you two up to?
Tom. We’re just going over arrangements.
Rachel. There are no hitches, are there?
Tom. Not really
Rachel. What do you mean, not really?
Bill. Really not. Absolutely not.
Rachel. I’m looking to you, tom, to see things go smoothly. I can’t trust Bill.
Bill. What d’you mean?
Rachel. Well look at you now- you look awful! What did you get up to last night?
Bill. We overdid it a bit. But that’s all over. Today’s the day.
Rachel. Yes it is (kiss cheek) and you’d better start getting ready for it, my darling. We’ve only got a couple of hours, and you can’t marry me looking like a brush salesman.
Bill. Are you sure you shouldn’t be dressing at home?
Rachel. It’s bedlam at home! All my relatives from around the globe are dressing at home. I want peace and privacy.
Bill. Right.
Rachel. Now, mothers coming over with my gown. Father will be here soon too, ordering everyone around as usual. So you go off to your own room, darling, and leave us free to spread around the suite. (Strokes his cheek) I might let you back in after we’re married.
Bill. ER.. There is just one thing, Rachel.
Rachel. What?
Bill. Can you not use the bedroom just yet.
Rachel. Why not?
Bill. They haven’t cleaned it up yet.
Rachel. Who hasn’t?
Bill. The chambermaids
Rachel. (Look at brush) are you doing it for them?
Tom. Er… (After sarcastic comment about toilet brush)
Rachel. The suite was supposed to be kept free. They knew we wanted it today. (Go to phone)
Tom. It got used
Rachel. Used?
Bill. Yes he did. I said he could.
Rachel. Tom?
Bill. He’s got his new girlfriend here, you see.
Rachel. I know. She’s coming to the wedding.
Bill. And they couldn’t be together at his parent house.
Rachel. Be together?
Bill. Sleep together.
Rachel. Oh. So?
Bill. So I said they could use the suite.
Tom. No you didn’t
Bill. Yes I did
Rachel. Make up your minds.
Tom: what did you DO to her?
Bill: she was fine when she got up.
Rachel: Yoo-hoo! Tom?
