Rumors Flashcards
Chris: Hi, Cookie. Hi, Ernie
Hello, Chris. Hello, Lenny
Lenny: Mr. Gorbachev?… He said, “I don’t know. I never ate cat food before.”
Sorry we’re late. Did we miss much?
Chris: You have got to get Lenny to tell you the story about Mrs. Thatcher and the cat food.
It sounds funny already
Cookie: No, it’s for my back. It went out again while I was dressing
You all right, honey?
Cookie: It’s nothing. I can do everything but sit down and get up.
Hey, Lenny, is that your BMW? Looks like you put a lot of miles on in two days.
Cookie: Oh, don’t tell me! Lenny! Claire!… I’m so sorry.
It was an accident, honey. We’ll replace it, of course.
Chris: What about a drink, everyone?
I’ll have something.
Lenny: I’m right near the bar.
Your all going to get me a drink? Sick friendly people. I’d love a bourbon, please.
Cookie: A spasm. It’s gone. It’s all right. It just shoots up my back and goes.
You all right, poops?
Lenny: Listen, maybe we should all sit outside. It’s such a beautiful evening.
Okay. Okay, you kids, what’s going on here?
Claire: What do you mean?
You think I don’t notice everyone’s acting funny? Three people want to get me drinks. Chris wants me to hear this funny story. Lenny wants to get us all outside. Everyone’s creating a diversion. Why? I don’t know. Am I right?
Lenny: Here it is
You all right, chicken?
Claire: It’s all laid out. Roast ham, smoked turkey, duck, and pasta?
Roast ham? Duck?… That’s too much cholesterol for me.
Cookie: A sixty-year-old Russian dress.
The dress is hardly an issue worth arguing about.
Cookie: I didn’t say we wouldn’t cook it.
She didn’t say we wouldn’t cook it. Why is everyone getting so worked up about this?
Claire: All right, Earnie, let’s not turn this into group therapy, please.
This is nothing like group therapy, Claire. You of all people, should know that.
Chris: Please lower your voices. Were going to spoil the surprise for Charley and Myra.
What surprise? It was their idea.
Cookie: Listen, I don’t want to take the blame for ruining this party. I’ll do all the cooking myself and Ernie’ll do the serving.
Honey, no ones asking you to do that.
Chris: Oh, give me a break.
What the hell was that?
Chris: Would you all excuse me for a minute? I hate when this happens.
Am I crazy or was that a gunshot?
Lenny: A gunshot? Nooo. I think it was a car backfiring.
In Charley’s bedroom?
Lenny: Oh, I know. I know. I know exactly what it was… it was a balloon. They’ve been blowing up party balloons up there all day.
What kind of balloon was that, the Goodyear blimp?… I’m going up.
Claire: I’ll get it.
I still think it sounded like a gunshot.
Clair: Hello?… Who? Dr. Cusack? Yes, he is. Who is it, please?
Is that for me?
Claire: Uh huh. Uh huh. It’s a conference call. Mr. and Mrs. Klein, Mr. And Mrs. Platt, Mr. And Mrs. Fishman.
Oh, it’s my Friday night group. I have a telephone session with them.
Lenny: Jeez, you are a pain in the ass. I’d better run up and get Chris. Dr. Dudley?… What?… oh, yes, my wife has a pain, too. It’s no bother. Can you hold for Chris, please? We owe this guy a gift. Let’s give him a Cookie as a patient. See where Ernie is with my drink, will you?
I though I heard Lenny in here. I have his spritzer.
Claire: I’ll hold it for him. How’s Cookie?
Not well. I have her some aspirins for her back, but she dropped them in the sauce.
Claire: Good. Then we’ll all get rid of our headaches.
Did Lenny say what that sound was?
Claire: The gunshot?
It was a gunshot
Claire: No, I was referring to the sound you thought was a gunshot.
It wasn’t a balloon, I know that.
No. It was a can of shaving cream. It exploded.
Shaving cream exploded?
It’s all right. It washes off.
Incredible.
Cookie: Ernie? I need you to put out some garbage.
I’m not through taking to my group yet.
Claire: Of course. We would all miss him terribly.
I purposely went around so you wouldn’t have to go to the door.
Cookie. I’ll get it. Ernie, get another bag of ice. I’m melting.
I’m beginning to feel like one of my patients.
Lenny: Chris, go inside and see what happened. Claire, go to the window and see who’s coming. I’ll go up and see how Ken and Charley are doing. I feel like I’m at the fricking Alamo.
Damn I burned my figures!oh God it’s hot!
Chris: Oh, dear.
Sonofagun, that’s hurts. Oh, frickerini!