Romantic relationships Flashcards
What are the four theories of attraction
Proximity
similarity
Evolutionary
cultural
Proximity theory of attraction
Mere exposure effect = the tendency to feel positively toward people we see frequently
Similarity theory of attraction
- Matching hypothesis
- People tend to end up with people who are similar in attractive scale (video 4 and 5s, 9 and 10s)
- Mate value
+ overall attractiveness (not just
physical but also status…) as a
potential partner in the context
of romantic or sexual
relationships
Evolutionary theory of attraction
Parental investment model
- Men and women differ because their reproductive biology leads to different levels of parental investment
- Female investment: COSTLY physical resources
+ Making the baby,
breastfeeding….
- Male investment: indirect resources (resources, protection)
+ Have sex
- Due to females having such high costs they tend to be more picky about who they will mate with
Reproductive success
Quantity VS Quality
- Men have a more quantity
approach (interest in short term
mating)
- Women have a more quality
approach due to costly
investment
Who are we attracted to?
(men)
Cues of fertility and vitality
Low waist to hip ratio
Higher pitched voice
Symmetry (from the evolutionary perspective this means good genes)
Signs of ovulation
Who are we attracted to? (women)
Cues of fitness and provisions
Symmetry (from the evolutionary perspective this means good genes)
Masculinity
Masculinity and athleticism
Broad body build
Resources
What do men that are symmetric report?
younger age for first sexual intercourse
greater # of life-time sexual partners
Are chosen more frequently as women’s extra-pair (cheating) partners
Study (Thornhill & Gangestad 1999) Male symmetry
T-shirt smell (no spicy food or cologne, wear shirt for a few days and then hormones on shirt is smelled by opposite sex)
More symmetrical men were rated as: “SEXIER” and “MORE PLEASANT”
Cultural theory of attraction
In some cultures (ex: china) people tend to choose based on status hierarchy
95% of indian marriages are arranged; matchmaking is also common in muslim countries
In Tibet, women marry a group made up of brothers
Kindness is the most important trait across cultures for a romantic partner
What are the three goals of romantic relationships
Obtaining sexual gratification
Establishing family bonds
Gaining resources and social status
What influences obtaining sexual gratification?
(goal of romantic relationship)
- Gender
- Men are more likely to say
yes to sexual advances by a
stranger
- Men require less time
knowing a women before
having sex
- Men hold lower standards
for sexual partners - Hormones
Play a role in: Sexual desire, Attraction, Behaviour
Testosterone (men and women)
- Linked to sexual desire in BOTH
men and women
Oxytocin (men and women)
- linked to receptivity to sex and
orgasm in BOTH men and
women
Ovulatory hormones (women)
- Women wear sexier & more
revealing clothes (Durante et al,
2008), Are more likely to wear
red/pink and feel sexier, be
rated as more desirable by
men
- Traits (ex: sociosexuality)
Sociosexual Orientation = tendency to prefer unrestricted (vs. restricted sex)- Restricted = sex only in the
context of committed
relationships- Unrestricted = interested in
casual sex without commitment
+ Have sex earlier
+ Prioritize partner
attractiveness over
other traits
+ Are less committed in
relationships
+ Use hookup apps like
Tinder more
- Unrestricted = interested in
- Restricted = sex only in the
- situations
Establishing family bonds
(goal of romantic relationships)
and its theory
Essential for the survival of human offspring
May be based on same mechanisms that link mothers and infants
“Attachment Theory”
DEF: your relationship to early caregiver shapes how you handel relationships
Separation
- Grief of separation can feel like
drug withdrawal
Same-sex competitors
- Can lead to jealousy
- Men more distressed by
sexual infidelity
- Women more distressed by
emotional infidelity
Gaining resources and social status (goal of romantic relationships) and its theory
Sex differences:
- Women are more motivated to seek a mate high in social dominance or status they also value the future potential to acquire money
- Men prioritize reproductive resources
Youth and attractiveness
- Gay men and Lesbians
Preferences are mostly similar to heterosexuals
” social exchange theory”
DEF: exchange of benefits and costs in a relationship
Dating with the internet
Increasing numbers of people are meeting people through websites
Increased access to potential partners
What is “ social exchange theory”
DEF: exchange of benefits and costs in a relationship
Gain resources and social status in goal of romantic relationship
Define “Attachment Theory”
DEF: your relationship to early caregiver shapes how you handel relationships
establishing family bonds in goal of romantic relationship
What are the four types of love
Companionate Love
- siblings
Passionate Love
- romantic partners
Nurturant Love
- parental/maternal love
Attachment Love
- children wanting their parents
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
Composed of:
Passion: intense desire for another
Intimacy: feelings of close bonding
Commitment: willingness to stay with another
CHECK OUT STECH
What is Attachment Theory composed of? / what are the types of attachement?
Types of attachment:
1. Secure
2. Insecure Avoidant
3. Insecure Anxious/Ambivalent
describe secure attachment
positive interactions with caregivers growing up, easily express love and affection form partners, unconcerned about abandonment, good communication and conflict resolution
More stable relationships, more satisfied relationships
Describe avoidant attachemnt
May have had cold and rejecting caregivers growing up, uncomfortable with closeness and affection, detach from a partner, less likely to offer or ask for support when stressed. Hyper Independent, more likely to cheat.
More likely to cheat on partner, shorter, less stable relationships, less satisfying relationships
Describe anxious/Ambivalent attachemnt
Remember caregivers as inconsistent, love is a painful struggle to completely merge with another person, concerned with abandonment, need lots of reassurance
May fall in love frequently but struggle to find “soulmate”, lower relationship satisfaction in marriage
Interdependence Model
The trading of benefits within relationships.
Three key elements
1. outcomes
- rewards - costs
2.Comparison levels (CL)
- what you think you deserve
3. Comparison level for alternatives (CLalt)
- what you think you can get
elsewhere
Satisfaction = outcomes - comparison levels (CL)
Dependance = outcomes - comparison level for alternatives (CLalt)
