Relationship Spectrum Flashcards
You are at a party and you
overhear your partner saying
nice things about you to their
friends.
Healthy
The way a partner talks to their friends can often tell us about their character. If they are supportive of you when talking with their friends, this is healthy.
Your partner surprises you at
work. You tell them you can’t
have visitors when you are there
and they respect this.
Healthy
When we set boundaries or limits with a partner, respecting them means they respect us.
You are late meeting your partner. They shove you against the wall and demand to know where you were and why you are late.
Unhealthy
Physical violence is always unhealthy. There is no excuse for this.
Your partner continually tries to get you to stay out later than your parents allow. Sometimes they tell you to lie in order to stay out past curfew.
Unhealthy
Respecting family rules is really important. A partner that expects us to do what they say and disrespect our parents is not valuing your family or you.
You stay after school for a club meeting. Your partner gets very angry with you and accuses you of cheating on them because you were not with them.
Unhealthy
If partners trust each other, there would not be accusations or suspicions of cheating. Without trust, a relationship cannot be healthy.
Your partner says they will kill
themselves if you leave the
relationship.
Unhealthy
It is not a person’s responsibility to keep a partner alive. Threats or guilt trips take away an individual’s ability to make their own decisions, which is unhealthy. Connecting a suicidal partner to resources (like a school counselor, coach, school resource
office, crisis hotline) can be helpful, but it is not your responsibility if they use these resources or not.
Your partner tells you they don’t
like your friends and that you
shouldn’t hang out with them
anymore.
Unhealthy
When partners spend all of their time together or one of the partners is isolated from their friends and family, this is a red flag or warning sign that this is not healthy.
Your partner wants you to
change the way you dress and
who you sit with at lunch.
Unhealthy
In a healthy relationship, a partner would embrace and support your style and friends. When a partner tries to change things about us, this shows that they do not respect us.
Your partner leaves you
somewhere and makes you walk
home after an argument to
“teach you a lesson”.
Unhealthy
When a partner puts us in an unsafe situation this is not ok. There is no justification for leaving someone without transportation home.
You have been at a karate tournament all weekend. When you get back, you find a note with a kind message in your locker.
Healthy
Time spent apart is a really important part of healthy relationships. Having a partner support your involvement in sports, hobbies, or extracurricular activities is great!
Your partner wants to meet your
family and cares about what they
have to say.
Healthy
Whenever a partner feels that they cannot be honest with their family about who they are dating, this is a red flag and can indicate a concern.
Your partner calls you after
school just to see how your day
was.
Healthy
Checking in with each other can be a healthy part of relationships. Knowing that a partner cares about you and your wellbeing can feel amazing!
You know that you can tell your
partner “No” even if they will be
disappointed.
Healthy
Maintaining boundaries by saying “no” is a really important yet really challenging thing. When we put our partner’s wants and needs above our own, that can be a red flag or warning sign that things are not ok.
Your partner talks with you and
makes sure you both agree on
plans.
Healthy
Collaboration is such a vital part of communication. Balance between partners and equality in decision making makes a relationship healthy.
You have become secretive,
ashamed, or hostile toward your
parents because of your dating
relationship.
Unhealthy
When we feel that we have to hide the truth about a partner, this is not ok. If the way we treat others or ourselves has changed, this is a warning sign that the relationship is unhealthy
Your partner is helping you with your homework and keeps calling you stupid because you have asked several questions about the assignment.
Unhealthy
Name calling is emotionally abusive. Name calling is never part of a healthy relationship.
Your partner always seems to wait until you are with friends to make fun of the way you look. When you ask them to stop, they tell you it was just a joke.
Unhealthy
This is an example of minimization, or downplaying the intensity or importance of a situation. If you do not like the way a partner is treating you, that is a big deal. A healthy partner would not laugh off your concerns.
You are becoming afraid of your
partner because they are always
yelling at you and have
threatened to hit you.
Unhealthy
Fear is a warning sign that things are not ok and might be unsafe. Trust your gut feeling and reach out to an adult you trust.
Your partner accuses you of
flirting when you talk to other
people in your class.
Unhealthy
Distrust and accusations are red flags of unhealthy relationships. This means there is not open communication and a balance
between partners.
You have to give your partner a
detailed account of your day just
to please them.
Unhealthy
If there are things you want to share with a partner, you are welcome to do that. Also, we are allowed to have privacy in a relationship and can decide what things we would rather keep to ourselves.
Your partner is angry at you and
drives the car in a dangerous
way when they take you home.
Unhealthy
When a partner disregards our safety, and their own safety in this case, this is unhealthy. This shows that the partner does not respect the person they are with.
Your partner says things like “If
you love me you would just…”
Unhealthy
This is an example of manipulation, or using guilt or shame to change a person’s actions. Love is not about compelling someone to do what you want them to do.
When you tell your partner you
are not interested in having sex
with them, they tell you they will
wait until you are ready.
Healthy
While sex can be a piece of some relationships, it is not a requirement. Having open conversations about sex is a really important part of healthy relationships.
Your partner constantly texts you
during the school day and while
you are at work, even though
you have asked them not to.
Unhealthy
Your partner constantly texts you
during the school day and while
you are at work, even though
you have asked them not to.
Unhealthy
When a partner does not uphold the boundaries or expectations we have set, this shows that they do not respect us.
You find yourself apologizing to
others when your partner is
treating you in a mean way.
Unhealthy
If you are apologizing for a partner’s behavior, that is an indication that things are not ok. A partner’s actions are not your responsibility.
