Rehearsed Answers Flashcards
IYA:…I would hold my breath in for as long as I could. One time I held it in for two whole minutes, she nearly lost her mind, thought I was actually dead.
PERLAH: What stopped you? You should have held it in longer. Grab my glasses, will you? Let’s get started.
IYA; Would you be more disappointed in your daughter if she refused to go to school or if she dropped dead?
PERLAH: Why would you ask such a thing? Nothing would upset me more than Jasmine squandering her opportunities. Of course I’d rather she’d croaked. (hahaha) Oh Iya can you believe it? Eight years together with these assholes and it all culminates to this. How much do you think he sold it for? (grab diaper) Eh who gives a shit, as long as Reynaldo pays me what he owes me. He should give me an end of the business relationship bonus for being the backbone and pulse of this club. I’ve made that wanker so much money.
IYA: I’m surprised he didn’t try to sell it to you.
PERLAH: I wouldn’t have wanted it anyway. I’m an entertainer, a performer. Not a club owner or manager and besides, if I had to work with this spawn simon on payroll or any of that home office bullshit I would throw myself in a volcano. Where is that damn riding crop?
IYA: That’s not mine.
PERLAH: I should hope not. But it might work for the bit. Wanna find out?
IYA: I’m afraid not.
knock at the door
PERLAH: Go away.
SIMON: It’s me Simon.
PERLAH: I can’t help you with that.
SIMON: Hi Iya.
IYA: Hi.
PERLAH: I’m just lovely Simon. Refreshed and rejuvenated. I feel like I could swim the Congo River.
SIMON: That’s great news!
PERLAH: I feel like absolute shit.
SIMON: Ah, I see, can I get you anything?
PERLAH: Do you have a riding crop? Nevermind, But yes a few things: number 1 my check from your dad, #2 a vodka soda, and make sure Erwin use fresh limes, none of that pre squeezed nonsense, I know hes new but he needs to learn how to use a knife.
IYA: Erwin’s afraid of knives?
SIMON: YES
IYA: Which one?
PERLAH: Number 3: my check from your dad
SIMON: You already said that.
IYA: I guess it wouldn’t matter.
PERLAH: I’m just making sure you’re paying attention.
SIMON: Why are we talking about Erwin, you said this is about my father.
PERLAH: Iya, are you on drugs?
IYA: No, I’m asking does Erwin not use the real thing because he’s lazy or does he just not like knives?
PERLAH: What that man does in his own time is his business not ours.
SIMON: She sounds like she needs a drink too.
PERLAH: Don’t get any ideas. She’s not into you.
SIMON: Wow! You assume a lot about me.
PERLAH: Frankly the worst. But I’ve known you and your father for almost a decade and in that time I’ve seen more women come out of this dressing room than you can actually count to.
