Random Flashcards
The problem is the thinking that created the condition
Quote from Michael
At some point I realized that ALL of my clients problems were simply metaphors
Milton Erickson
If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but your own estimation of it, and this you have the power to revoke at any moment
Marcus Aurelius
I have a policy, I never listen to anyone explain why they can’t do something, b/c I don’t wanna be convinced by it
Michael Caine
Every time you tell your story you grow into it
Give up arguing for your limitations
Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right
Henry ford
You get what you focus on so focus on what you want
Energy flows where attention goes
Where there is negative thinking, let there be reflection on the contrary
Quote
Perception is projection
Fact
Time, location, mood, meta programs, language, memories, decisions, beliefs, values, identity
Filters
We delete, distort and generalize based on our
Filters
Change a problem to a challenge and then the challenge to an opportunity
Reframe
Mind/body is a
Psycho cybernetic system
Always know your outcome, take real action, pay attention to your results(sensory acuity) l, be willing to change (behavioral flexibility), focus on excellence(physiologically and psychologically), always live with gratitude and integrity
Six principles for success
Goal implies something you haven’t achieved, it’s always right in front of you
NLP focuses on outcomes
Resistance in a client is a sign of a lack of rapport
There are no resistance clients, only inflexible communicators
People are not their behaviors
Accept the person, change their behavior
The map is not the territory
An NLP presupposition
There are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states
People have all the resources they need to succeed and achieve their desired outcomes
There is ONLY feedback
There is no failure, only feedback
The meaning of communication is the response you get
Presupposition of NLP
The law of requisite variety
The system/person with the most behavioral flexibility controls the system
All procedures are designed to increase choice
Presupposition of NLP
Prime directives of the unconscious mind
Preserves the body, runs the body, stores memories, is the domain of the emotions, organizes all memories, represses memories with unresolved negative emotions, presents repressed memories for resolution, is symbolic, takes everything personally
Prime directives of the unconscious mind (cont.)
Works on the principle of least effort, does not process negatives, may keep the repressed emotions repressed for protection, is a highly moral part of you, enjoys serving and needs clear orders to follow
Prime directives of the unconscious mind (cont.)
Controls and maintains all perceptions, generates stores distributed and transmits all energy, maintains instincts and generates habits, needs repetition until a habit is installed, is programmed to continually seek more and more, functions best as a whole integrated unit
Typical therapy works with only the conscious mind. Hypnosis works with only the unconscious mind
Only NLP strives for total concious-unconscious integration
NLP doesn’t ask why
The more reasons they tell you, the more stuck they will get
Most times when someone has a problem it’s b/c their conscious and unconscious mind are not aligned
Behaviors or thoughts that run unconsciously need to be interrupted
The interrupt becomes part of the pattern
Memory is state dependent
Sensory acuity
Skin color, muscle tone/skin shine, breathing rate, breathing location, lower lip size, eye focus, pupil dilation
Biological manifestation of an internal response
Anytime you ask someone about a past time - it will lead them into that stste
Words are 7% of communication
Tonality is 38%
Physiology is 55%
93% of communication is energy
Physiology (55%)
Posture, gestures, facial expressions/blinking, breathing
Rapport
Tonality (38%)
Voice tone(pitch), tempo(speed), timbre(quality), and volume(loudness)
Rapport
Words (7%)
Predicates V,A,K
Key words
Common experiences and associations
Content chunks
Rappot
Internal feeling
Color shift
They say something (optional)
You lead, they follow
4 indicators of rapport
(Bc of the mirror neurons in your brain)
Matching one part of the body with another part (match breathing with finger tapping)
Cross mirroring
Manipulation is win/lose, rapport is winning
You can not DO rapport to someone, your mirror neurons are firing off too
You can tell HOW people are thinking by watching their eye patterns
By changing the sub modalities, we change what that thought means, and that changes the way we feel about those things
Techniques: contrastive analysis, mapping across, swish pattern, dissociative techniques, perceptual positions (A, B, C)
Location and association are usually the most important submodalities
Anchoring is heavily kinesthetic
Submodalities are highly visual
Black and white or color?
Near or far?
Bright or dim?
Location?
Size of picture?
Associated/dissociated
Focused or defocused
Focus (changing/steady?)
Framed or panoramic?
Movie or still?
Visual submodalities
Location
Direction
Internal or external
Loud or soft
Auditory submodalities
Location
Size
Shape
Intensity
Kinesthetic submodalities
Using specificity/ambiguity in language (chunking up/down)
Hypnotic language patterns (Milton model)
The agreement frame
The purpose frame
The what if frame
The backtrack frame
Masterful language patterns
The relevancy frame
The contrast frame
Use words that create positive I/R’s - say it the way you want it
Conditional close
Tag questions
Masterful language patterns (cont)
“I wanna go running BUT it’s raining tonight” changes to “it’s raining tonight BUT I want to go running”
Flip the “but”
If you speak and they don’t get it then you aren’t communicating - take a different approach
You are 100% at cause for communication
Have you stopped beating your dog yet?
Either answer assumes you have beat your dog
Adjectives describe a thing
Adverbs describe actions (read quickly)
MM
Mind Reading
“I know that you’re wondering…?”
MM
lost performative
“And it’s a good thing to wonder…”
MM
Cause and effect
“Because when you wonder, you dream…”
MM
Complex Equivalent
“And that means…”
MM
Presuppositions
“You are learning many things…”
MM
Universal Quantifiers
“And all the things, all the things…”
MM
Modal Operators
That you CAN learn
MM
Nominalizations
Verbs or processes frozen in time by turning them into nouns
MM
Unspecified verbs/predicates
“And you can wonder…”
MM
Tag question
“Can’t you?”
MM
Lack of referential index
“One can, you know…”
MM
Comparative deletions(unspecified comparison)
“And it’s more or less the right thing”
MM
pacing current experience
You are sitting here, listening to me, looking at me
MM
double binds
“And that means you can learn this easily or without any effort at all. It’s totally up to you”
MM
Conversational Postulate
“Would you feel more comfortable if your eyes were closed?”
MM
Extended quotes
Quoting a person, who quotes another, who quotes another, etc
MM
Selectional Restriction Violation
“And I wonder how your ears feel, having heard such a thing…”
MM
Ambiguities
Hear and here
They are visiting relatives
The old men and women
I want you to notice your hand me the glass
Can you please pass out (pause) the flyers
MM
Utilization
Using what the client has said, done or experienced thereby matching their model of the world in order to gain rapport.
MM
Analogical Marking
Marking out words with V, A, or K to communicate with unconscious mind. “My mother used to bake cookies from SCRATCH, I wonder if YOUR mother KNOWS.
The things and events in the world around us have no meaning themselves. Things have meaning bc we attach meaning to them
Reframing separates intention from behavior
A part is a part when it is part time OR conflicted
A conflict is a limiting decision when it is full time AND congruent
Time integration for maximum empowerment
TIME techniques
You use one emotion to push another one down
Anger
Sadness
Fear
Hurt
Guilt
A string of memories collected or strung together of a particular emotion
Gestalt
Most negative emotions are first experienced
Between 0-7 y/o
Anxiety is a warning from your unconscious mind to focus on what you want
The reason we feel anxious about something is because we project failure into a future event
Pendulum works with idiomotor response. Unconscious mind makes micro movements for yes or no
