Professional Coaching Competencies Flashcards
What kind of questions should a Coach ask?
Clear, direct, primarily open-ended, one at a time. Not leading, transformational, not transactional.
What is a clear question?
Short, few words, just enough to get the question across to the client
What is a direct question?
Not beating around the bush, trying to be nice, or softening the blow, instead: I have a question, and here it is. Straightforward.
What is a primarily open-ended question?
Open-ended: Questions like “Who”, “What”, “When”, “Where”, “Why”, and “How”
=> They have no yes/no answer or options
What is a closed question?
A question to which the answer is yes/no/maybe, like “did you”, “do you” and so on.
Why are open-eneded questions preferred?
They encourage the client to think about the answer and about the solutions and discover new ideas
Why do we ask one question at a time?
No stacking, so that the question comes at a pace the client can process, if the question is hard and the client needs to think, they need the time to do so
How should questions be explained?
Not at all, not before and not after the question. Trust that the client understands the question, if they are confused, they will tell you.
How should the coaching questions lead?
Questions are not leading, the questions should come in response to the client’s input. The coach should not come up with a plan and present it in form of questions.
What is a transformational question?
Forward-Facing questions about things that haven’t happened yet, asking the client what they dream up for the future, transform how the clients think and by extent what they do
What is a transactional question?
Questions that are primarily for the coaches benefit, where the client already know the answer: Transaction of information between coach and client.
Why are transactional questions bad?
1) Clients are not learning anything, simply rehashing the past
2) When we try to understand the problem ourselves, we try to fix it for the client, but we shouldn’t
What is clear language?
The same language as the client, use the same phrasing or reference points, not “coachy” lingo.
What is concise language?
Describes the length and the formatting of the question. Questions should be short (3-7 words, or even “why”)
What is the issue with longer questions?
They tend to get more specific, which means that the client’s thought process is also limited to the specifics of the question.
Why should the client talk more than the coach, even though the coach has the expertise?
Because our experience and expertise is great for teaching, consulting, mentoring, but not for coaching. In coaching, we want to fade into the background, so that the client can do the thinking/heavy lifting.
What does active listening mean?
We listen to the client’s ideas, and not to ourselves and our own solutions. That means that we are actively listening to all they are saying, not only the parts we “want to hear”.
Which are valid reasons to interrupt the client?
- The client is talking about what a 3rd party needs to do to change instead of what they need to change themselves. Interrupt then, focus on what we have the power to change in this conversation (what you want to change in relation to the other person)
- If the client is rehashing details about what happened in the past, or sharing information more for the coach than for themselves. That is not valuable. Interrupt and focus on the future rather than what has occured. Refocus on “what would you like to see differently”
How do you interrupt clients?
Polite, explain the intent (why you interrupted). When refocussing, make clear that the other topic is valuable and important, but the context for this conversation should be different.
And most importantly: Only for valid coaching reasons.
When can the coach share observations, intuitions, comments, thoughts or feelings?
When it serves the client’s learning or forward movement, but not when it’s just a “fix” or a solution. It should provoke thoughts.
Also, we can not be attached to them being right or wrong, or important or not
Which comments are unhelpful in a coaching session?
- Listening comments such as “aha, I hear you” are not helping, keep them out if possible. They interrupt the client.
What do you do if the client thinks a thought you shared is wrong?
Multiple options:
- let it go, don’t bring it up all the time
- ask what is accurate then, to inspire them to think
How can you adapt the client’s language?
- Adapt metaphors they use (“matchbox” for car for instance)
- Use their words, not Coaching lingo
Why should you use the client’s language?
It builds trust and intimacy, it helps the client to stay on their path because they don’t need to understand your wording
What are the core markers of transformational questions?
The coach asks clear, direct, primarily open ended questions.
The coach’s questions are not leading.
Coach’s questions are primarily transformational
What are the core markers of direct communication?
Coach’s language is generally clear and concise
The coach allows the client to do most of the talking
The coach allows the client to complete speaking
The coach shares observations, intuitions, comments, thoughts and feelings to serve the client’s learning
Coach shares observations, intuitions, comments, thoughts and feelings without any attachment
Coach uses the client’s language
What is a Coaching Session Agreement?
The agreement to make with the client about
- what are we going to talk about today
- what are the goals and outcomes of today’s session
Clients may bring up a big topic, but the coach helps the client to choose an aspect to focus on the one session.
What is a Coaching Relationship Agreement?
Same as the Session Agreement, but for longer term and overarching goal, like “What are your goals within the next weeks of coaching”, “how will you know it was a successful engagement”
While doing that, also ask how to interrupt, and what to do if I have an observation that might be challenging to hear, how do you want me to bring that up to you. It’s like a working agreement.
What are the core markers for the Coaching Agreement?
- Coach helps the client to identify or reconfirm what they want to accomplish
- Coach helps the client to define or reconfirm measures of success
- Coach explores what is important or meaningful to the client
- Coach helps the client define what the client believes they need to adress
- Coach continues towards the client’s stated outcomes unless the client expresses otherwise
- Coach develops a coaching releationship agreement as well as a coaching session agreement with the client
What is a goal for a coaching session?
Not what the client wants to achieve overall, but what they want to achieve in this coaching session.
For example, “I want to improve the relationship to my boss” is not a goal of the coaching session, so: What does the client want to accomplish to help them to improve the relationship? maybe “2 ideas to try”
What are measures of success for a coaching session?
Acceptance Criteria for the goal, such as: How to make sure that ideas generated are actually helpful, how could that look like etc
What do you do if the client just wants a fuzzy goal, such as “I just want to have some clarity”
Ask something like “On a scale of 1-10, how clear are you on this topic”, and then “where do you want to be after this session”, and then “how would a 5 be different to from where you are right now”
Or without scale, ask: “Where are you now on this topic”, gives the client to come up with their own scale
Why should the coach explore what is imporrtant or meaningful to the client?
So that the client connects the achievement of the goal with a positive change in their life
Why does the coach help the client define what they believe they need to adress?
Because it defines what stands in the way between the client and the goal, and makes these things transparent, and generates leads/starting points for the coaching. Then “which of these do you want to start with”.
The coach can also detect shifts in the conversation
What do you do if the client gets off track?
Let them finish their current thought because they might need it to get back to the goal, then ask them “I heard you talking about GOal X, but now I am hearing Y. In which direction do you want us to keep going?”
The client needs to be able to decide the direction!
How do you change the topic in a coaching session?
You don’t proactively. If the client goes off track, make it transparent and give an option to go back or continue. If you have an intuition that something else might be the problem, bring it out and give the client an option to go there. It’s OK to shift, but it has to be the client’s choice.
How do you use the relationship agreement with the coaching session agreement?
Help connect the immediate problem to the bigger goal. Check in after 3-5 sessions where are we with the goal, do we need to shift, is this working for you
How do you make the client understand what a coach is?
People without coaching experience expect you to be a consultant.
Be upfront that the coach is a partner to help them to get to the success they define.
What are the core markers for developing trust?
- Coach acknowledges client’s work in the coaching process
- Coach respects client’s work in the coaching process
- Coach expresses support for the client
- Coach challenges the client
- Coach notices and reflects on the client’s progress
- Coach holds the client as fully competent, undamaged, resourceful and not in need of fixing
How do you respect the work of the client?
By letting the client do the learning themselves, they do the work of learning and decision making, we do not do it for them and we respect that.
What is Normailzing?
Clients often feel that they are the only ones going through a specific problem/challenge. “Normalizing” means conveying the information that this is normal, and it’s normal to feel about it. Theme: “This is common, it’s going to be ok!”
Why do you want to challenge clients?
The client can’t change by doing things like they always did or thinking as they always thought. They need to be pushed out of the box and challenged to think differently about certain things.
How do you challenge clients?
Identify the challenge, for example a pattern that keeps popping up, a topic that the client is not acknowledging and so on. Ask for permission, and if given, hand the observation to the client to deal with, if they want to. It’s OK if they don’t.
Maybe reiterate/make clear that the client is in control, they can choose what they do with the challenge, explore it, reject it, do something else => they are in control.
Challenge can also be something like “I want you to go out there, do stuff and fail 5 times and tell me about it”. Client is in control! (Remember that you are not fixing the client)
Why is it important to notice and reflect the progress of the client?
Client might not have someone else to notice it
Clients do not notice it themselves usually
It can be used for further forward movement
When is a good time to reflect on the progress of the client?
Can be on a bigger scale, after a few sessions, but also within a session, for instance within a single session, acknowleding the progress of the client
Since clients are fully competent, why do they need coaches?
To provoke them to think about things from different perspectives, to see things differently (might have painted themselves into a box)
What are the competency markers for Coaching Presence?
- Coach is observant, empathetic and responsive
- Coach exhibits curiosity with the intent to learn more
- Coach partners with the client by supporting the client to choose what happens
- Coach partners wiht the client by inviting the client to respond in any way to the coach’s contributions and accepts the client’s response
- Coach partners wiht the client by playing back the client’s expressed possibilities for th eclient to choose from
- Coach partners with the client by encouraging the client to formulate his or her own learning
What does “responsive” mean?
The coach is responding (with questions) by responding to the previous answers, but also what they say, how they say it and so on.
What does “curiosity” mean?
We are curious about the client, what they can do, what is happening and how them transform - not about the contents. It needs to be for the client’s benefit.
What does “Support the client to choose what happens” mean?
Offering choice to the client so that the client can determine their destination. The important thing is that we don’t want to impose our agenda on the client, instead we want to highlight the options the client already has , but might not have identified it as an option.
What does “playing back the client’s expressed possibilities” mean?
Help the client brainstorm the options they have, helping them thinking them through, and ultimately helping them choose from the theoretical options
What does “encourage the client to formulate their own learning” mean?
Alernative to pushng observations or summing up options, encourage the client to come up with their own agenda, like “what do you learn from it?” “What does that make you see?” “What do you want to do with that?” etc.
What are the core competencies for Active Listening?
- Coach’s questions and observations are customized by using what the coach has learned about who the client is and the client’s situation
- Coach inquires about or explores client’s use of language, tone of voice, pace of speech or inflection as appropriate
- Coach inquires about or explores client’s behaviors
- Coach inquires about or explores how the client perceives their world
- When appropriate, coach is quiet and gives client time to think
Why shouldn’t you use question lists or books directly in coaching sessions?
The questions might not resonate with the client at the moment, or the phrasing is off. Use them as a starting point, but customize the questions you ask based on what you have learned about the client and their situation.
Why should the coach inquire about the client’s use of language, tone of voice and pace of speech?
If one of these changes, it reflects outwardly what happens inside, and it might not be conscously. Highlighting/inquiring about this can help the client to reflect on the situation.
Which kind of behaviors should be inquired by the coach?
It could be direct behaviours, like hand motions, facial expressions and so on, but also behavior described by the client when explaining other situations.
What are the core competencies for “Creating Awareness”?
- Coach invites client to state and/or explore his/her learning in the session about her/his situation
- Coach shares what they are noticing about the client and/or the client’s situation and seeks the client’s input or exploration
- Coach invites client to consider how they will use new learning from coaching
Why is Creating Awareness the goal of coaching?
If the client has awareness about certain new perspectives or ideas, they can make better decisions in the future.
Why is it important to inquire what the client is learning from the coaching?
Most people don’t know what they are learning until they articulate it, they’re not thinking about their learning, they think about the problem.
What are the competencies for Designing ACtions, Planning & Goal Settings, Managing Progress and Accountability?
- Coach invites or allows client to explore progress toward what they want to accomplish in the session
- Coach invites or allows client to explore progress towards the overall goal they want to accomplish
- Coach assists the client to design what actions/thinking client will do after the session in order for the client to continue moving toward the client’s desired outcomes
- Coach invites or allows client to consider their path forward, including, as appropriate, support mechanisms, resources and potential barriers
- Coach assists the client to design thje best methods of accountability for themselves
How do you allow the client to explore progress in a session?
Multiple ways, for example when you think the client is not progressing, ask them where they are in relation to their goal or if they feel they are making progress,
alternatively if the client is taking rabbit trails (is what we are talking about now in line with what we want to achieve for this session?)
Or towards the end of a session
Why should the coach help the client design actions/thinking for after the session?
Most of the progress happens between sessions, not in the session. So designing the next steps is more crucial. Next steps can also be
Why should the coach help the client to design or consider support mechanisms, resources and potential barriers?
Things rarely go to plan, with that, the client should be enabled to build up mechanisms to deal with these situations.
What is accountability in the context of coaching?
Not holding someone else accountable, we don’t want the client to depend on us. Instead, self-accountability, the coach is holding the accountability up, making it visible, mirroring, so that the client remembers what they want and why
How do you help creating accountability?
Asking how they will make sure that they are doing it, and if they have an idea, ask them what they do in case they are too busy or something else will block them
If they fail, ask them how do we ensure that next time it will work?
What is a structure in coaching?
A visible, tangible object that reminds them about their goals, could be as simple as a post-it note. Everytime they look at it they remember to hold themselves accountable.
