Play Lines

Question 1

And speaking of messed up, we must now investigate the origin of that queen! Because long before she was the queen, she was a little girl named Little Red-Cap.

Answer 1

Little Red-Cap?

Question 2

Yeah, Little Red-Cap.

Answer 2

Isn’t it Little Red Riding Hood?

Question 3

Okay, first of all, you’re not a hood just because you wear red, all right? Not everyone who wears red is in a gang. And second, that’s what it says here in the book, and we’re going by the book, so you’re Little Red-Cap.

Answer 3

Fine. Jerk.

Question 4

(Fine. Jerk.)
What?

Answer 4

I didn’t say anything.

Question 5

(I didn’t say anything.)
So, Little Red-Cap–

Answer 5

Well I’m off to my Grandmother’s house to give her these sweets I made.

Question 6

sad grandma lines …if only someone loved me. I’m dying. Ack.

Answer 6

Boy, Grandma really knows how to turn on the guilt. I guess I’ll just have to go into the dark and scary woods alone. Although that doesn’t sound like a very good idea.

Question 7

Don’t go in there!
Thank you.
–first–

Answer 7

I guess I’ll go into the woods.

Question 8

(I guess I’ll go into the woods.)
Don’t go in there!
–second–

Answer 8

La la la

Question 9

Aw no it’s a wolf!

Answer 9

La la la

Question 10

Quit singing and turn your head! There is a wolf! Behind you!

Answer 10

It’s so dark here. If only I could see what was going on.
Wolf pounces, kick backwards, beat wolf with baton, can of mace

Question 11

kicked wolf, beat with baton, can of mace

Answer 11

Give me your money!

Question 12

You see, Little Red-Cap was raised in the hood, which is where she gets her other name. And it was a tough hood. A very tough hood.

Answer 12

You got dirt on my shoe!

Question 13

(You got dirt on my shoe!)
No I didn’t!

Answer 13

Yes you did you–sheep.

Question 14

Please don’t kill me.

Answer 14

You’re not worth it. Tra la la.

Question 15

And he lay in wait for Little Red.
Uh-oh.

Answer 15

That’s right, you better keep on walking! Tra la la. Now to deliver these sweets to Grandma’s house to get her off my back.knocks Grandma?

Question 16

Uh-oh. Don’t go in there. That ain’t your Grandma.

Answer 16

I brought the sweets you ordered. Low-fat, just like you said. Say, you look a little weird.

Question 17

Most old people look weird. Please come closer.
Don’t go in there! Don’t do it!

Answer 17

Why is there blood all over the floor?

Question 18

Why aren’t you listening to these fine people?

Answer 18

Why do you have a big wolf-like snout with jagged sharp teeth and beady red eyes? Why am I so stupid I can’t figure this out?

Question 19

Well, let me just slice open his stomach like I do to every wolf I knock out. What the heck is this?

Answer 19

What’s up?

Question 20

Well, what are we gonna do with this wolf?

Answer 20

I’ve got an idea! We stuff the wolf’s belly with rocks and then sew him back up. Then when he wakes up, he’ll feel really full, and when he tries to drink out of the river, we can push him in! The weight of the stones will force him to the bottom, so he’ll drown, and the last thing he’ll see if my face. And then he shall know that my revenge is complete.

Question 21

But her daughter was stolen and raised by a needy old Grandmother.
I need you!

Answer 21

I have a terrible attitude because I was raised in the hood, but I’m still going to bring you sweets! In comes wolf Ah, a wolf!

Question 22

What do you want?
To eat you! (To grandma)

Answer 22

Hello Grandma! You look messed up!

Question 23

I don’t say bad things about you! I’m going to eat you!

Answer 23

Ah! Dang it!

Question 24

Ah a wolf! Die die die die! Hey look a girl popped out of his stomach!

Answer 24

Woo hoo! Let’s kill this wolf by filling his stomach with rocks!

Question 25

You’re disturbing!

Answer 25

I know!