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1
Q

Jimmy: I have a magnifying glass out in the car and can get down on my hands and knees examining the stage if you like, a la Sherlock Holmes. I love those stories. Now about this play, you that the deceased wrote it?
Gordon: That’s right

A

You’d tink after all dese years, I’d know better.

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2
Q

Timothy: It’s a big building, if someone wants to hide.
Jimmy: Excuse Me?

A

I am so sorry, I wadn’t tryin’ to interrupt yer rehearsal. You pretend I ain’t here.

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3
Q

Jimmy: Then you know what’s going on here?

A

I’m yust gonna get something I left in my truck, you won’t even know I is here

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4
Q

Jimmy: No, I mean you know about the murder?

A

Yah, dere doin’ a murder this time but if I don’t get the ladies restroom cleaned….

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5
Q

Jimmy? Can I ask you some question?

A

Me?

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6
Q

Jimmy: If you have a moment.

A

Oh, I git it. Dis is one a’ dose plays dat gets de audience involved.

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7
Q

Frances: No our director has really been murdered

A

Uh-huh, and yer yer all suspects. Yer all doin’ a bang up job too. Look real guilty and all.

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8
Q

Jimmy: Who are you?

A

Me, I’m de yanitor. I think he did it (points to Luther)

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9
Q

Jimmy: What’s your name

A

Theodore Butler. Now, you all yust don’t mind me. I’ll yust get the cleanser out of my truck….

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10
Q

Jimmy: Don’t worry about that just now?

A

Whass goin’ on here? Wh’re you , anyways?

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11
Q

Jimmy: Don’t worry about that just now?

A

Whass goin’ on here? Wh’re you , anyways?

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12
Q

Jimmy: James Todd, I’m a policeman.

A

You shoulda got an older actor, he looks more like a pizza guy

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13
Q

Frances: Nope
Lois: I believe him

A

Now him, he looks like a cop.

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14
Q

Mike: Until you are told differently

A

You all are really getting’ into this one, ain’cha

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15
Q

Jimmy: So you really don’t know any of these people?

A

I yust work here. I figer the less I know the less I can git in trouble. I been doing this for quite a while.

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16
Q

Jimmy: Oh don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. You can tell me. I mean, if you know anything about the actors.

A

Well…you know…you hear things…

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17
Q

Jimmy: You tell me if you think of anything.

A

You betcha!

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18
Q

Jimmy: Wouldn’t you have seen each other in the parking lot?
Timothy: Normally yes, but the light is burned out?

A

Oh, I am so sorry! I knew I waited too long.

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19
Q

Jimmy: Hang on…waited too long for what?

A

To change the light bulb. In the parking lot. I should’ve taken care of that when I come.

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20
Q

Jimmy: When did you come in?

A

Well now, I don’t know. I do remember she was up here talkin’ to herself. I thought it was part of the play…you know?

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21
Q

Jimmy: Can you remember what she was saying?

A

A liddle a dis and dat. She was picking up the chairs, you know, and saying stuff like, uh, like “Dey can’t tink for themselves! Nothing but a bunch of whinning idiots! Big babie!” You know like that.

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22
Q

Jimmy: Hmm. Good point. Okay, let’s find out about the key thing. Theodore?

A

Yah

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23
Q

Jimmy: You just said that you got here right after Dana. I mean, Miss Pugh, so you didn’t use your key, right?

A

That’s right.

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24
Q

Jimmy: Go with Sergeant Mallory and check your key on that back door, will you?

A

Of course…Dis way.

25
Q

Gordon: For all we know, the janitor did it?

A

I don’t know nothin’, I yust work here.

26
Q

Gordon: How come you’re here tonight?

A

I ain’t here at dem times, only I get a call from dat guy, de director, the dead guy

27
Q

Glenda: We come not to praise Caesar but to bury him

A

And he told me to come in on accounta he don’t like the way I’m doin’ my yob.

28
Q

Dana: Dexter was such as fanatic about those things.
Jimmy: I thought he might be.

A

Yah, see? I still say, he’s the one who looks guilty. (pointing to Luther)

29
Q

Mike: Are you out of your mind? Didn’t you here what I just said?

A

You said if I remember anything I should tell you?

30
Q

Jimmy: Go ahead

A

Well, de ting is, dat director was talkin’ to me, ya know, about what he needed me to do and all, and he, yust in passing you see, he mentioned something about letting him know if I saw somebody come in. It was like he was skeered, you know, when he said dat.

31
Q

Jimmy: Who? Did he give you a name?

A

I been tryin’ to remember dat. I think it was Don somethin’ something or other?

32
Q

Jimmy: Ah ha! That’s the final piece.

A

I helped out, den? I mean dat’s what yer lookin’ for?

33
Q

Jimmy: When I said the Killer was Dexter Allan…

A

Hey, what’s the idea?

34
Q

Gordon: Oh, Ava, not now!

A

Oops! I guess Halloween’s over

35
Q

Jimmy: I don’t suppose you want to tell us why you did it?

A

Oh no, why don’t you first tell us how you figured it out. As you can imagine, I have a vested interest in hearing that.

36
Q

Mike: “Black Beard”?
Jimmy: Identical twin?

A

Just looked enough alike to pass. As you can tell, continue.

37
Q

Gordon: Just try to remain conscience. Is that too much to ask?

A

What about the key?

38
Q

Jimmy: Why did you lock the door?

A

I…I locked it after Hector got her. (Pause) Hey, I forgot about it, okay. I can’t think of everything…apparently. I mean….who thinks about something as trivial as a missing key.

39
Q

Dana: Thank you…That was clever of me, wasn’t it.

A

So, what about the key?

40
Q

Jimmy: …he knew that if anyone ran the prints through the national database…

A

They’d find out that they were Hector’s prints.

41
Q

Jimmy: ..if you were here during the investigation they’d fingerprint you as well

A

I had to come up with someone who’d normally be here but rarely seen.

42
Q

Luther: Oh, I wouldn’t want to see that!

A

One question, when I told you about somebody named “Don” how did that help you?

43
Q

Jimmy: If you outed him, he’d turn around and out you. Simple

A

I was expecting to frame Timothy, he’s our major soak.

44
Q

Jimmy: Black Beard show up at your house looking for a hideout?

A

Right. He had shaved his beard by then. But he wouldn’t leave. In fact, he started hinting to me that it would be a good idea for me to fork over a large amount of cash, or else…

45
Q

Jimmy: He was blackmailing you?

A

(Nods) I knew if I paid him off it wouldn’t last. He’d come back for more…and more. Then when he put on some of my clothes I realized just how much he and I looked alike? That’s when I got the idea? I won’t bore you with the details. This afternoon I set it all up. He didn’t have a clue. He pours himself a drink, laughing the whole time. I knew he would. He always was such a bully to me; he never suspected anything. Not from poor, helpless, li’l ol’ me. Then it happened. You know, when somebody actually dies, it’s never like you think it would be. (laughs). Certainly not like you see it on stage. I mean, he didn’t writhe or flail about. He didn’t gasp, or try to grab me and cause a scene. He just got a strange look on his face. And then…it wasn’t like stopped breathing, it wasn’t like he stopped living. He just…stopped. Then I put him on the table, covered him with a sheet, turned over a few chairs for window dressing, and you know the rest.

46
Q

Lois: You…you killed your own brother?!

A

We didn’t have a close family.

47
Q

Jimmy: By that time, you yourself owed ;lots of cash to a lot of people?

A

On top of that, I had one clinging female who wouldn’t leave me alone!

48
Q

Lois: Oh Dexter!

A

She’ll start sneezing next. Like you said, once his body had been cremated, I would be free to start a new life and nobody would be the wiser. And you cops would be keep looking for Black Beard Jablonski who, no longer existed.

49
Q

Jimmy: …One more question, Mr. Jablonski.

A

Oh, ask away, I’ve got nothing but time.

50
Q

Jimmy:…anytime, last week, next week, but you chose tonight? Why tonight?

A

You know, don’t you?

51
Q

Jimmy: Just another hunch

A

I guess you call it writer’s bloc. I couldn’t figure out the mystery. I could not write the last scene.

52
Q

Jimmy: Click!

A

Maybe, if you took a look at it?

53
Q

Jimmy: I’ll let you know. Nice job as the janitor, by the way

A

I had to make him just unbelievable enough to be believed.

54
Q

Jimmy: How Oscar Wilde of you

A

Thank you.

55
Q

Jimmy But, if I may nitpick a little here. I think you name was a bit much

A

Just a little game I played to see who was paying attention.

56
Q

Timothy: Name? What about his name?

A

Theodore Butler? HE still doesn’t get it?

57
Q

Jimmy: The Butler did it?

A

And if you think my janitor was good, wait until you see me do madness. Once more into the breach, dear friends (Shakespeare). Now is the winter of discontent!

58
Q

Mike: Let’s go Shakespeare

A

You know Officer, have always depended upon the kindness of strangers

59
Q

Jimmy: Mike, will you tell the rest of the guys, they can take off now?
Mike: Right, Professor

A

True, Nervous, very nervous, I was and am. But why will you say I am mad? The disease has sharpened my senses, not dulled, not destroyed them…..