PLAY Flashcards
ESS IE
MY THAT KITCHENS HOT
WHAT, ESSIE?`
IT JUST WON’T EVER GET COOL
DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE CANDY TODAY, ESSIE?
IT’S SUCH A HOT DAY
BUNCH OF NEW ORDERS
MY, IF IT KEEPS ON i SUPPOSE YOU’LL BE OPENING A STORE.
I WANT TO BE A DANCER
THE ONLY TROUBLE WITH DANCING IS, IT TAKES SO LONG. YOU’VE BEEN STUDYING SUCH A LONG TIME.
STARTED ABOUT THE SAME TIME DIDN’T WE
YES, BUT YOU SHOULDN’T COUNT MY FIRST TWO YEARS, BECAUSE I WAS LEARNING TO TYPE.
REHBA - MRS SYCAMORE?
UH? WHAT?
FINISH THE SECOND ACT
OH, NO, RHEBA. I’VE JUST GOT CYNTHIA ENTERING THE MONASTERY.
KIT KAT WASN’T SHE
WELL, SHE GETS TIRED OF THE KIT KAT CLUB, AND THERE’S THIS MONASTERY, SO SHE GOES THERE.
DO THEY LET HER IN?
YES, I MADE IT VISITORS’ DAY, SO OF COURSE ANYBODY CAN COME.
OH
SO SHE ARRIVES ON VISITORS’ DAY, AND –JUST STAYS.
ALL NIGHT
OH, YES. SHE STAYS SIX YEARS.
BUST THAT MONASTERY WIDE OPEN
(TO SELF) “SIX YEARS LATER.:…
PAUL TEN STRINGS LISTEN NICE HUH?
YES, PAUL, DEAR, WERE YOU EVER IN A MONASTERY?
PINNA THOUGHT OF THE BALLOON
SOUNDS LOVELY. DID YOU DO ALL THAT TODAY?
PAUL, PINNA, PAUL D, P D CELLAR AND TRY IT ALL RIGHT
MR DE PINNA, IF A GIRL YOU LOVED ENTERED A MONASTERY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
RHEBA DINNER TONIGHT MRS SYCAMOE?
WHAT? I DON’T KNOW, RHEBA. MAYBE
BEEN HOME ONE NIGHT THIS WEEK
YES, I KNOW.
SOMETHING WITH COCOANUTS
UH-HUH. THATS NICE.
U BETTER SET FOR EIGHT
RHEBA, I THINK I’LL PUT THIS PLAY AWAY FOR A WHILE AND GO BACK TO THE WAR PLAY.
ESS WHAT YOU THINK
OH, THEY LOOK LOVELY. WHAT DO YOU CALL THEM?
LOVE DREAMS
YES, THAT’S NICE…I’M GOING BACK TO MY WAR PLAY, ESSIE. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
ARE YOU MOTHER?
YES, I SORT OF GOT MYSELF INTO A MONASTERY AND I CAN’T GET OUT.
SNAKES DID RHEBA FEED THEM
I DON’T KNOW. RHEBA, DID YOU FEED THE SNAKES YET?
BRINGS FLIES WITH HIM
WELL, TRY TO FEED THEM BEFORE GRANPA GETS HOME. YOU KNOW HOW FUSSY HE IS ABOUT THEM.
YESM
AND HERE TAKE GOUCHO AND HARPO INTO THE KITCHEN WITH YOU. BELIEVE I’LL HAVE ANOTHER LOVE DREAM
PAUL NO THANKS I GOTTA WAHS
I’M GOING BACK TO THE WAR PLAY, PAUL.
PAULS ESSIE PROMISING PUPIL
YOU’D THINK WITH FORTY MONKS AND ONE GIRL THAT SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN.
ED, ESS…..WHEN KOLENKHOV COMES WILL YOU
ED, DEAR. WHY DON’T YOU AND ESSIE HAVE A BABY? I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT JUST THE OTHER DAY
ED ESS ED LET’S ASK HIM
LABOR PLAY, RELIGIOUS PLAY, ROMANTIC PLAY– I KNOW IT’S HERE SOME PLACE.
DE PI ED…PRINT UP SOME DESCRITIVE MATTER AFTER DINNER
DO YOU THINK ANYBODY READS THOSE THINGS, ED–THAT YOU PUT IN THE CANDY BOXES?…OH, HERE’S THE WAR PLAY.
“POISON GAS” (DOORBELL) I GUESS THAT’S DONALD. LOOK AT RHEBA SMILE.
ED THE BOYFRIEND EH RHEBA
THEY’RE AWFULLY CUTE, DONALD AND RHEBA.
HOW YOU BEEN MRS SYCAMORE
VERY WELL, THANK YOU. DONALD?
YES MAAM
WERE YOU EVER IN A MONASTERY?
I’M ON RELIEF
AH, YES, OF COURSE.
BEN WORKING MRS SYCAMORE
YES, INDEED, DONALD.
HOW’S GRANDPA?
JUST FINE. HE’S OVER AT COLUMBIA THIS AFTERNOON. THE COMMENCEMENT EXERCISES.
HE GO THERE FOR ALL THE TIME PENNY?
I DON’T KNOW, IT’S SO HANDY–JUST AROUND THE CORNER.
TROTZKY YAH I LEFT IT THERE
WHO IS IT?
THE RUSSIAN REVOLUTION
OH
LAST DAYS OF POMPEII
OH, YES. PALISADES PARK. THATS WHERE WE MET.
FULL HOUR DISPLAY, SAYH
PAUL THATS WOUNDERFUL!
GRANDPA YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE
WAS IS A NICE COMMENCEMENT, GRANDPA?
HAVE HIM AT COLUMBIA
DONALD, WILL YOU TELL RHEBA GRANDPAS HOME NOW AND WE WON’T WAIT FOR MISS ALICE.
PAUL GR DE GR CARLOAD OF FIREWORKS. AAND SAY JUST AS MUCH TOO
DON’T THE GRADUATES EVER SAY ANYTHING?
PEOPLE ESSIE MOTHER
NO THANKS DEAR
G ES WHERES GRANPAS LETTER MOTHER
WHAT DEAR?
LETTER THAT CAME FOR GRANDPA LAST WEEK?
I DON’T KNOW I REMEMBER SEEING THE KITTENS ON IT.
ALICE ENTERS IT’S NEW ISN’T IT
LOOKS NICE AND SUMMERY.
DOWN IN THAT CELLAR ALL DAY PAUL HUH?
I’M GOING BACK TO THE WAR PLAY, ALICE.
NICARAGUA NOW FOR 2 PESTOS PAUL REALLY?
“KENNETH! MY VIRTUE IS A PRICELESS THING TO ME”
REALLY WHO IS IT
WELL, ISN’T THAT NICE?
CALLIN FOR ME
WHY DON’T YOU BOTH STAY TO DINNER?
BOSSES SON
WELL!
WHY SHERLOCK HOLMES
ARE YOU GOING TO MARY HIM?
WHAT TIME IS IT?
I DON’T KNOW. ANYBODY KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
MINUTE HE COMES PLEASE?
OF COURSE, ALICE
I MEAN THE MINUTE HE COMES
WHY, OF COURSE.
WELL BE SURE
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?
SHES’ GOT IT BAD
WOULDN’T IT BE WONDERFUL IF SHE MARRIED HIM? WE COULD HAVE THE WEDDING RIGHT IN THIS ROOM.
HES EVER CALLED FOR THE GIRL
YOU ONLY CALLED FOR ME ONCE.
HE CAME TO DINNER ONCE AND JUST STAYED
ANYHOW, I THINK IT’S WONDERFUL. DON’T YOU GRANDPA?
SEEMS HAPPY ABOUT IT
HE MUST BE CRAZY ABOUT HER. MAYBE HE’S THE ONE WHO IS TAKING HER OUT EVERY NIGHT. (DOOR BELL) THERE HE IS! NEVER MIND, RHEBA, I’LL ANSWER IT. NOW REMEBER WHAT ALICE SAID AND BE VERY NICE TO HIM
LETS TAKE A LOOK AT HIM
WELL! WELCOME TO OUR LITTLE HOME!
HENDRSON HOW DO YOU DO?
i’M ALICE’S MOTHER. DO COME RIGHT IN! HERE WE ARE! tHIS IS GRANPA AND THAT’S ALIC’S FATHER, AND ALICIE’S SISTER AND HER HUSBAND, ED CARMICHAEL. WELL! NOW GIVE ME YOUR HAT AND MAKE YOURSELF RIGHT AT HOME.
MAKING A MISTAKE
HOW’S THAT?
MY CARD
“WILBUR C HENDERSON. INTERNAL REVENDUE DEPARTMENT
MATTER OF INCOME TAX
INCOME TAX?
ALICE MR KIRBY
NO. NO, IT ISN’T DARLING. ITS’S–AN INTERNAL SOMTHING OR OTHER. PARDON ME
PENALTY FOR NOT FILING AN INCOIME TASX RETURN
PENALTY?
SOUND TO YOU FOLKS GRAND I LIKED IT
MY GOODNESS, HE WAS MAD, WASN’T HE?
THING IS SO SILLY
HE FORGOT HIS HAT
SIZE IS THAT HAT?
SEVEN AND AN EIGHTH
FELLO ANYWAY
(DOORBELL) THIS MUST BE MR KIRBY.
BETTER MAKE SURE THIS TIME
YES, I WILL.
HE’S GOOD LOOKING
HOW DO YOU DO?
GOOD EVENING
IS THIS MR ANTHONY KIRBY JR?
YES
WELL, MR KIRBY, COME RIGHT IN! WE’VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU. COME RIGHT IN! THIS IS REALLY MR KIRBY! NOW, I’M ALICE’S MOTHER, AND THAT’S MR SYCAMORE, AND ALICE’S GRANDFATHER AND HER SISTER ESSIE, AND ESSIE’S HUSBAND. THERE! NOW YOU KNOW ALL OF US, MR KIRBY. GIVE ME YOUR HAT AND MAKE YOURSELF RIGHT AT HOME
IS THAT MR KIRBY MOTHER
YES, ALICE. IT IS. HE’S LOVELY!
I;LL BE RIGHT DOWN
DO SIT DOWN, MR KIRBY
TOMATO NO THANK YOU
HOW ABOUT A PIECE OF CANDY?
AH NO, HTNKS
OH, I FORGOT TO INTRODUCE MR DE PINNA. THIS IS MR DE PINNA, MR KIRBY
SECURRITES COMMISON OH
YES, OF COURSE. I’M SURE THERE WAS NOTHING CROOKED ABOUT IT, MR DE PINNA. AS A MATTER OF FACT–ALICE HAS OFTEN TOLD US WHAT A LOVELY MAN YOUR FATHER IS
DESKI WITH MY NAME ON IT
IS THAT ALL? DON’T YOU GET ANY SLARY?
I’M WORTH I’M AFRAID
NOW YOU’RE JUST BEING MODEST.
FUN’S OVER I’M FACING THE WORLD
WELL, YOU’VE CERTAINLY GOT A GOOD START, MR KIRBY. VICE PRESIDENT AN DA RICH FATHER.
WELL THAT HARDLY MY FAULT
SO NOW I SUPPOSE YOU’RE ALL READY TO SETTLE DOWN AND GET MARRIED.
KNOWS HIS OWN MIND
I WANT’ MAKING UP HIS MIND FOR HIM–WAS I, MR KIRBY?
QUITE ALL RIGHT MRS SYCAMORE
YOU SEE?
MUSTN’ RUSH HIM MOTHER
WELL, ALL I MEANT WAS HE’S BOUND TO GET MARRED, AND SUPPOSE THE WRONG GIRL GETS HIM?
TIME TO GET ACQUAINTED
OH, YES, INDEED. WE WERE JUST HAVING A DELIGHTFUL TALK ABOUT LOVE AND MARRRIAGE.
MONTE CARLO BALLET
ISN’T MR KIRBY LOVELY?…COME ON, EVERYBODY! DINNERS READY!
SO GOOD LOOKING
AND HE HAD SUCH NICE MANNERS. DID YOU NOTICE, PAUL? DID YOU NOTICE HIS MANNERS?
PRETTY PERSONAL WITH HIM
OH, NOW, PAUL…ANYHOW, HE’S A VERY NICE YOUNG MAN.
KOL THEN YOU HAD THE BALLET
I THINK IF THEY GET MARRIED HERE I’LL PUT THE ALTAR RIGHT WHERE THE SNAKES ARE. YOU WOULDN’T MIND, GRANPA, WOULD YOU?
KOL THRID FIVE YEAR PLAN
OF COURSE HIS FAMILY IS GOING TO WANT OT COME. IMAGINE. ALICE MARRYING A KIRBY!
act 1 SCENE 2
some lines
the whole year well then off stage penny
IS THAT YOU ALICE? WHAT TIME IS IT? (comes in room in bathrobe) OH! EXCUSE ME, MR KIRBY. I HAD NO IDEA- THAT IS, I–I DIDN’T MEAN TO INTERRUPT ANYTHING.
NOT AT ALL MRY SYCAMORE, NO MOTHER
I JUST CAME DOWN FOR A MANUSCRIPT–THEN YOU CAN GO RIGHT AHEAD. AH, HERE IT IS. “ROMANCE TAKES A HOLIDAY” WELL–GOOD NIGHT, TONY.
GOOD NIGHT MRS SYCAMORE
OH, I THINK YOU CAN CALL ME PENNY, DON’T YOU, ALICE? AT LEAST I HOPE SO.
ACT 2
GAY YOU TAK YOU OLD JOB
I’M READY TO READ YOU THE NEW PLAY, MISS WELLINGTON, ANY TIME YOU ARE.
JUST A MINUTE
THE ONLY THING IS–I HOPE YOU WON’T MND MY MENTIONING THIS, BUT–YOU DON’T DRINK WHEN YOU’RE ACTING, CO YOU, MISS WELLINGTON? I’M JUST ASKING, OF COURSE.
PEOPLE DONALD ACTING REHED SHE DON’T MEAN ANYTHING
WELL, ANY TIME YOU’RE READY, WE’LL GO UP TO MY ROOM AND START. I THOUGHT i’D READ THE PLAY UP IN MY ROOM.
IT’S TIME TO LAY DOWN
OH DEAR! OH DEAR! OH, BUT THOSE ARE REAL, MISS WELLNGTON! THEY’RE GRANPA’S. THOSE ARE REAL! OH, DEAR! I HOPE SHE IS NOT GOING TO–MISS WELLINGTON!
PASSED OUT GOOD
DO YOU THINK SHE’LL BE ALL RIGHT?
RELIGIOUS PLAY
WELL, I SUPPOSE I’LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT.
BIG DOINS AROUND HER TOMORROW NIGTH
ISN’T IT EXCITING? YOU KNOW I’M SO NERVOUS–YOU’D THINK IT WAS ME HE WAS ENGAGED TO INSTEAD OF ALICE.
PENNY DI YOU SEE..GUESS WHO IT IS
DON’T TELL ME NOW, ED. WAIT A MINUTE…HELEN OF TROY?
ALICE LIST FOR RHEBA TOMORROW NIGHT
YES, DEAR..HERE’S SOME.
IS SHE GIVING A PERFORMANCE?
NO, SHE’S NOT ACTING, ALICE. SHE’S REALLY DRUNK.
THAT WON’T YOU MOTHER
OF COURSE, DEAR
NO REASON WHY IS SHOULDN’T ALICE
WE’RE ALL GOING TO DO EVERYTHING WE CAN TO MAKE IT A NICE PARTY
NICE OT SEE HER SO HAPPY
YES, I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS ENGAGED TO PAUL–HOW HAPPY I WAS. AND YOU KNOW, I STILL FEEL THAT WAY.
ED AND ESSIE GET ALONG TOO,,ISN’T IT
AND DONALD AND RHEBA, EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE NOT MARRIED…DO YOU SUPPOSE MR DE PINNA WILL EVER MARRY ANYONE, GRANDPA?
MISS WELLINGTON
OH, DEAR, I WISH SHE’D WAKE UP. IF WE’RE GOING TO READ THE PLAY TONIGHT—
MRS SYCA FOUND REMEMBER
WHY, OF COURSE. IT’S MY PAINTING OF YOU AS THE DISCUS THROWER. LOOK, GRANDPA.
STILL SOME RIGHT HERE
WELL, IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO–JUST BEFORE I STOPPED PAINTING. LET ME SEE–THAT’S EIGHT YEARS.
NEVER FINISHED IT MRS SYCAMORE
I ALWAYS MEANT TO FINISH IT, MR DE PINNA, BUT I JUST STARTED TO WRITE A PLAY ONE DAY AND THAT WAS THAT. I NEVER PAINTED AGAIN.
HE DIES OH YES
HE WAS SUCH A NICE MAN. REMEMBER THE FUNERAL, GRANDPA? WE NEVER KNEW HIS NAME AND IT WAS KIND OF HARD TOGET A CERTIFICATE.
NAME WE FINALLY MADE UP FOR HIM
MARTIN VANDEROF. WE GAVE HIM YOUR NAME.
I REMEMBER
IT WAS A LOVELY THOUGHT, BECAUSE OTHERWISE HE NEVER WOULD HAVE GOT ALL THOSE FLOWERS.
MRS SYCAMORE I’D KIND OF LIKE TO HAVE IT
YOU KNOW WHAT, MR. DE PINNA? I THINK I’LL DO SOME WORK ON IT. RIGHT TONIGHT.
WILL YOU
I DON’T THINK SHE’S GOING TO WAKE UP ANYHOW…LOOK, MR DE PINNA! YOU GO DOWN IN THE CELLAR–AND PUT ON YOUR COSTUME. AND BRING UP THE EASE. IS IT STILL DOWN THERE?
I THINK SO
NOW, WHERE DID I PUT MY PALETTE AND BRUSHES?
YASSUH MR KOLENKHOV
HELLO, MR KOLENKHOV, ESSIE’S IN THE KITCHEN. (GO UPSTAIRS)
STALIN TAKE A TELL YOU GRANPA (COME DOWN STAIRS)
SEEMS SO NICE TO GET INTO MY ART THINGS AGAIN. THEY SILL LOOK ALL RIGHT, DON’T THEY, GRANPA?
PARIS MADAME SYCAMORE
OH, THANK YOU, MR KOLENKHOV
WORKING FOR THE WPA
OH, NO, DONALD. YOU SEE, I USED TO PAINT ALL THE TIME—(DOOR
FOLLOWING ME EVERY PLACE I WENT
NONSENSE, ED. IT’S YOUR IMAGINATION.
FOLLOWED RIGHT OUT OF RUSSIA
OF COURSE, YOU SEE, ED–THE WHOLE THING IS JUST IMAGINATION
WELL MAYBE
(FINDS PAINTING THINGS) AH, HERE WE ARE!
WANT THIS OVER THERE?
PUT IT HERE, MR. DE PINNA.
SCHEREZADE OKAY
MR DE PINNA, HAS SOMETHING HAPPEND TO YOUR FIGURE DURING THESE EIGHT YEARS?
ANY DIFFERENT
YES, MISS WELLINGTON? yES?
WOO
OH, DEAR.
THROUGH PERSPIRATION
WHY, THAT’S WONDERFUL, MR KOLENKHOV. DID YOU HEAR THAT, GRANDPA–ART IS ONLY ACHIEVED THROUGH PERSPIRATION
WE GO BACK TO THE PIOUETTE
COULD YOU PULL IN YOUR STOMACH, ME DE PINNA? THAT’S RIGHT.
MRS SYCAMORE
WHAT RHEBA?
GLAD TO SEE YOU
WHY–YES. ONLY–WE THOUGHT IT WAS TO BE TOMORROW NIGHT.
WEREN’T DOING A THING
NO, NO. JUST A QUIET EVENING AT HOME
ALICES MOTHER MRS SYCAMORE
HOW DO YOU DO.
MR AND MRS KIRBY ARE HERE
(WHISPER) AND BE SURE TO PUT HIS PANTS ON.
MRS KIRBY- THANK YOU
I’LL TELL ALICE THAT YOU’RE —-ALICE! ALICE DEAR! aLICE, WILL YOU COME DOWN DEAR? WE’VE GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU. wEL!
TAKE INTO THE KITCHEN
OF COURSE WE’RE SO USED TO THEM AROUND THE HOUSE–
CARELESS OF YOU VERY
OH, NOW, ANYBODY CAN GET MIXED UP, MR KIRBY.
NOT HUNGRY AT ALL
BUT IT’S NOT A BIT OF BOTHER. ED!–ED, TELL DONALD TO RUN DOWN TO THE A & p AND GET HALF A DOZENBOTTLES OF BEER, AND -AH-SOME CANNED SALMON–DO YOU LIKE CANNED SALMON, MR KIRBY?
INDIGESTION ANYWAY
OH, I’M SORRY…HOW ABOUT YOU, MRS KIRBY? DO YOU LIKE CANNED SALMON?
FOND OF IT
YOU CAN HAVE FRANKFURTERS IF YOU’D RATHER.
EITHER ONE WILL DO
WELL, MAKE IT FRANKFURTERS AND SOME CANNED CORN, AND CAMPBELL’S SOUP—GOT THAT, ED?
OKAY
AND TELL HIM TO HURRY! THE A & p IS JUST AT THE CORNER, AND FRANKFURTERS DON’T TAKE ANY TIME TO BOIL.
FORGIVE MY APPEARANCE
THIS IS MR SYCAMORE’S BUSIEST TIME OF THE YEAR. JUST BEFORE THE 4TH OF JULY HE ALWAYS—-(ALICE COMES DOWN)
GETTING YOU SOME DINNER
OH, THAT’S ALL DONE, ALICE. THAT’S ALL BEEN ATTENDED TO.
OF COURSE IT IS DARLING
I ASKED HIM WHAT HE WANTED, ALICE.
COMFORTABLE KIRBY THANK YOU
WELL—-
GAY WAKES UP WOOO
SHE—AH—
OVERCOME BY THE HEAT
YES, SOME PEOPLE FEEL IT, YOU KNOW, MORE THAN OTHERS. PERHAPS I’D BETTER SEE IF SHE’S ALL RIGHT. EXCUSE ME PLEASE?
GARDEN SHOW ESSIE OH YES
I THINK SHE’LL BE ALL RIGHT NOW…HAS DONALD COME BACK YET?
NO, HE HASN’T
WELL, HE’LL BE RIGHT BACK, AND IT WON’T TAKE ANY TIME AT ALL. I’M AFRAID YOU MUST BE STARVED.
WAITED TEN YEARS FOR
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I WAS WAITING FOR AN ORCHID
DONALD
AH, HERE WE ARE! DID YOU GET EVERYTHING , DONALD?
SPIRITUALISM
SPIRITUALISM? nOW, MRS. KIRBY, EVERBODY KNOWS THAT’S A FAKE.
HOBBIES OF YOUR OWN
YES, BUT NOT SILLY ONES
COMOTION
WELL! THAT WAS EXCITING FOR A MINUTE, WASN’T IT?
PLEASE MR KOLENKHOV
I’M SURE DINNER WON’T BE ANY TIME AT ALL NOW.
STUPIDITY NOT AT ALL TONY
LOOK! WHY DON’T WE ALL PLAY A GAME OF SOME SORT WHILE WE’RE WAITING?
NOO MR KOLENKHOV
BUT I’M SURE MR AND MRS KIRBY WOULD LOVE THIS GAME. IT’S PERFECTLY HARMLESS.
GOOD AT GAMES MRS SYCAORE
OH, BUT ANY FOOL COULD PLAY THIS GAME, MR KIRBY. ALL YOU DO IS WRITE YOUR NAME ON A PIECE OF PAPER—
MR KIRBY DOESN’ WANT
OH, HE’LL LOVE IT! HERE YOU ARE, MR KIRBY. WRITE YOUR NAME ON THIS PIECE OF PAPER. AND MRS KIRBY, YOU DO THE SAME ON THIS ONE.
MOTHER WHAT IS THIS GAME
I USED TO PLAY IF IT AT SCHOOL. IT’S CALLED FORGET-ME-NOT. HERE YOU ARE, GRANDPA. NOW, I’M GOING TO CALL OUT FIVE WORDS–JUST ANYTHING AT ALL –AND AS I SAY EACH WORD, YOU’RE OT PUT DOWN THE FIRST THING THAT COMES INTO YOUR MIND. IS THAT CLEAR? FOR INSTANCE, IF i SAY “GRASS” YOU MIGHT PUT DOWN “GREEN”–JUST WHATEVERYOU THINK OF, SEE? OR IF i CALLOUT “CHAIR” YOU MIGHT PUT DONW “TABLE” IT SHOWS THE RE-ACTIONS PEOPLE HAVE TO DIFFERENT THINGS. YOU SEE HOW SIMPLE IT IS MR KIRBY?
HAPPY TO PLAY IT
YOU SEE, ALICE? HE DOES WANT TO PLAY.
WELL
NOW, THEN! ARE WE READY?
READY
NOW, REMEMBER-YOU MUST PLAY FAIR. PUT DOWN THE FIRST THING THAT COMES INTO YOUR MIND
I UNDERSTAND
EVERYBODY READY?.. .THE FIRST WORD IS “POTATOES”. pOTATOES…READY FOR THE NEXT ONE?
MOTHERE
BATHROOM! GOT THAT?
GO AHEAD
ALL READY? LUST..
NOT EXACTLY WHAT YOU
NONSENSE, ALICE-THAT WORD’S ALL RIGHT.
PERFECTLY FIAR WORD
YOU SEE? NOW, YOU MUSTN’T INTERRUP THE GAME.
LAST WORK AGAIN PLEASE
LUST, MR KIRBY
QUITE A GAME ISN’T IT
SSSH, GRANDPA… ALL READY?…“HONEYMOON” NOW ESSIE!…ALL RIGHT THE LAST WORD IS ROMANCE
WHAT HAPPENS NOW?
OH, THIS IS THE BEST PART. NOW I READ OUT YOUR REACTIONS
QUITE AN INTERESTING GAME
I KNEW YOU’D LIKE IT. I’LL READ YOU PAPER FIRST, MR KIRBY. lISTEN, EVERYBODY! THIS IS MR KIRBY…“POTATOES—STEAK.? THAT’S VERY GOOD. SEE HOW THEY GO TOGETHER? STEAK AND POTATOES?
HAPPENED TO THINK OF IT
IT’S VERY GOOD…“BATHROOM–TOOTHPASTE.” WELL! “LUST–UNLAWFUL.” iSN’T THAT NICE? “HONEYMOON–TRIP. yES AND ROMANCE–MALE. OH YES OF COURSE…YOU ARE. tHAT’S REALLY A WONDERFUL PAPER, MR KIRBY.
EXPERIMENT IN PSYCHOLOGY ISN’T IT
YES, IT IS–IT SHOW JUST HOW YOUR MIND WORKS. NOW WE’LL SEE HOW MRS KIRBY’S MIND WORKS….READY?… THIS IS MRS KIRBY…POTATOES—STARCH. I KNOW JUST WHAT YOU MEAN MRS KIRBY. MM–OH DEAR!…BATHROOM–MR KIRBY.
WHATS THAT
BATHROOM MR KIRBY
GO ON MRS SYCAMORE
WHERE WAS I?….OH , YES…LUST–HUMAN
WHAT WAS THE NEXT WORD
HONEYMOON
WHAT WASMRS KIRBYS ANSWER
AH–HONEYMOON–DULL
GO ON MRS SYCAMORE
THIS ONE’S ALL RIGHT, MR KIRBY. ROMANCE–WALL STREET
MEN COME IN WHERE YOU ARE EVERYBODY DON’T MOVE
OH, GOOD HEAVENS!
DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
OH, MY GOODNESS! J-MEN!
LEAD TO THE CELLAR
YES IT DOES
PRINTS ANYTHING HE DOES EH?
I NEVER HEARD OF SUCH NONSENSE.
GOT TO GO DOWN THERE GOOD HEAVENS
MY MANUSCRIPTS! I’VE GOT TO SAVE MY MANUSCRIPTS!
ACT 3
SALAD BOWL. THANKS (COME DOWN STAIRS)
WELL, SHE’S GOING. NOTHING ANYBODY SAID COULD CHANGE HER
AWAY LON mRS SYCAMOE
I DON’T KNOW, RHEBA. SHE WON’T SAY.
HOW YOU FEE, MRS SYCAMORE?
OH, I’M ALL RIGHT, DONALD. JUST KIND OF UPSET. PERHAPS IF I DO SOME WORK MAYBE I’LL FEEL BETTER
SHE’S GOING PENNY
YES (CRYS)
NOW, NOW PENNY.
I CAN’T HELP IT, PAUL. SOMEHOW I FEEL IT’S OUR FAULT.
BEEN THINK MORE ABOUT ALICE
DON’T SAY THAT, PAUL. YOU’VE BEEN A WONDERFUL FATHER. AND HUSBAND, TOO.
LOOKING AT MR KIRBY
BUT WE’VE BEEN SO HAPPY, PAUL.
MIXED UP NOW
…WHAT TIME IS SHE GOING?
LEAVES AT HALF PAST SEVEN
OH, IF ONLY SHE’D SEE TONY. I’M SURE HE COULD PERSUADE HER.
BEEN TRYING ALL DAY
WHERE IS HE NOW?
SHE WON’T TALK TO HIM
MAYBE TONY CNA CATCH HER AS SHE’S LEAVING.
IT WON’T HELP PENNY
NO, I DON’T SUPOSSE SO..I FEEL SO SORRY FOR TONY, TOO. WELL? –GRANDPA?
LET THE GIRL ALONE
BUT GRANDPA—
THEN YOU COME HOME
OH, BUT IT’S ALL SO TERRIBLE, GRANDPA
THINGS LIKE THAT GOING ON
OH, IT WAS EVEN WORSE WITH MRS KIRBY. WHEN THE MATRON STRIPPED HER. THERE WAS A BURLESQUE DANCER THERE AND SHE KEPT SINGING A STRIP SONG WHILE MRS KIRBY UNDRESSED.
ALICE-I’M JUST GOING TO PRESS THESE
ALICE, DEAR
NO THANKS ESSIE
REALLY, ALICE, YOU COULD BE JUST AS ALONE HERE AS YOU COULD IN THE MOUNTAINS. YOU COULD STAY RIGHT IN YOUR ROOM ALL THE TIME.
KNOW YOU WANTED ONE
OH, I TOLD MR DE PINNA TO TELL YOU, PAUL. DIDN’T HE TELL YOU?
DO ANYTHING(TONY ENTERS)
TONY, TALK TO HER! SHE’S IN THE KITCHEN
KOL GOOD EVENING EVERYBODY
WHY, MR KOLENKHOV
REALIZE YOU ARE UPSET
THAT’S ALL RIGHT, MR KOLENKHOV.
DON’T FEE UP TO IT WELL I AH
OH, BUT DO STAY TO DINNER, MR KOLENKHOV. WE’VE GOT ALL THAT FOOD OUT THERE, AND SOMEBODY’S GOT TO EAT IT.
HAPPY TO MADAME SYCAMORE
FINE
ASK A GREAT FAVOR
WHY, OF COURSE, MR KOLENKHOV. WHAT IS IT?
DUCHES OLGA
YES?
RESTAURANT TIMES SQUARE
YES, I KNOW. IF THERE’S ANYTHING AT ALL THAT WE CAN DO, MR KOLENKHOV…
PETER THE GREAT A REMARKABLE MAN
MR KOLENKHOV, IF YOU MEAN YOU’D LIKE THE GRAND DUCHESS TO COME TO DINNER, WHY WE’D BE HONORED.
THANK YOU
I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO MEET HER. WHERE IS SHE NOW?
BRING HER IN
ED, STRAIGHTEN YOU TIE, ESSIE, YOUR DRESS. HOW DO I LOOK? ALL RIGHT?
ALL RIGHT NOW MR DE PINNA
WILL YOU BE SEATED, YOUR HIGHNESS?
YOU ARE MOST KIND
WE ARE HONORED TO RECEIVE YOU, YOUR HIGHNESS.
YOU ARE TELLING ME
YOUR HIGHNESS–DID YOU KNOW THE CZAR? PERSONALLY, I MEAN.
I DO NOT BLAME HIM
NO, OF COURSE NOT…WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME FOR JUST A MOMENT? (LOOKS UPSTAIRS FOR ALICE)
HE IS A COMMUNIST
WE’LL HURRY THINGS UP. ESSIE, WHY DON’T YOU GO OUT IN THE KITCHEN AND SEE IF YOU CAN HELP RHEBA?
VERY GOOD COOK
OH, BUT YOUR HIGHNESS! NOT ON YOU DAY OFF!
WONDERFUL FACE FOR A MASK
REALLY, SHE’S A VERY NICE WOMAN, YOU KNOW. CONSIDERING SHE’S A GRAND DUCHESS.
KEEP KIND OF GAY TOO
MM. SHE MADE ME FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING FOR A MINUTE.
CALL A CAB
NO, WAIT, PAUL. HERE THEY ARE. MAYBE TONY HAS—
MR KIRBY AH GOOD EVENING
GOOD EVENING
A CAT CAN LOOK AT A KING CANT HE
YOU–YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT FOR YOU, ALICE?
…READ THOSE LETTERS HOW DARED YOU
WHY, ISN’T THAT WONDERFUL? DID YOU WEAR TIGHTS, MR KIRBY?
HERE ON PURPOSE..ALICE TONY
WELL, FOR HEAVEN’S….
I WANT TO DO DOORBELL
THAT MUST BE THE CAB
WHY DON’T YOU AND TONY BOTH STAY?
OH, PLEASE DO, MR KIRBY. WE’VE GOT ALL THAT STUFF WE WERE GOING TO HAVE LAST NIGHT. I MEAN TONIGHT.
TELL THAT CAB …WELL, WELL..WELL
WHAT IS IT GRANDPA?
BURIED UNDER MY NAME
YES
DUCHES-YOU CAN SIT DOWN
COME ON, EVERYBODY. DINNER! COME ON, MR KIRBY.
I’M COMING
ESSIE, STOP DANCING AND COME TO DINNER.
RUSSIAN FOOD MR KIRBY
BUT YOU MUST BE CAREFUL OF YOUR INDIGESTION
SAVE THE STAMP FOR ME
MR KIRBY, DO YOU LIKE ROAST GOOSE? WE HAVE ROAST GOOSE FOR DINNER.
