Photo Flashcards
In this floorplan, care and
play are the spaces that
open into lust.
_________
it’s easy to get from
care to lust (when you’re
already up in the loft),
and sometimes it takes a
little intentional effort to
get there (when you’re
on the ground floor and
have to climb the stairs
into the loft).
Sometimes
Play is the space of __________ and laughter, singing and dancing,
games of all kinds, with zero stakes.
friendship
The Pleasure-Favorable Spaces
Lust is the space
of courtship and
sexuality.
In humans,
it’s a _____ social
space and is most
often surrounded by
the other pleasurefavorable, highly
social spaces of care
and play.
highly
Seeking is the space
of exploration,
curiosity, __________,
moving toward. What
will you find, just
beyond the door?
adventure
Care is the space of love and tenderness, both “taking care of” and “ ________ for.”
caring
The _________-Adverse Spaces
In a traditional Asante
shrine, the central
courtyard is the most
sacred space.
Here,
the courtyard is care;
you can get to it from
any other space on the
floorplan, and you can
get to any other space
from care.
Pleasure
Panic/grief is the space
of lost connection,
loneliness, and
abandonment. Because
love is a biological
drive—meaning we
can die if we don’t get
enough—this space is
an alert system to tell
us when we’re feeling
too alone.
Panic is the
warning of _______;
grief is feeling helpless
and hopeless
isolation
Fear is the space of
“_______! Move away!”
At its lowest intensity,
it might be a slight
niggling worry; at
higher intensities
it can be full terror.
It can also show up
as people-pleasing,
doing whatever it
takes to create a
sense of safety
Unsafe
Rage is the space of
“Unsafe! Move to destroy!”
It can be as small as
annoyance or ______
and as large as a bodyfilling Hulk-like need to
smash.
No emotion is
inherently dangerous,
but because rage is the
motivation to break things,
we have to be sure we
don’t trust our hands or
our words when rage is
intensely activated.
irritation
______
Photo
This is my floorplan.
Notice that seeking and play open directly into lust,
but I have to go through play to get from _____ to lust.
care
______
Photo
A lot of us get to adulthood believing that being “normal” is the gateway to becoming
“______,” as this graph depicts.
The reality is that all of us are already normal.
perfect
All of us have been wounded by
cultural messages telling us how
our sexuality “should” be, and all
of us are in an ongoing cycle of
healing from those wounds, then
being wounded again or having an
old wound reappear.
Anywhere you
are in the cycle, you’re ____ normal.
still
