Persuasion and Influence Flashcards
What distinguishes persuasion from influence?
Both persuasion and influence involve deliberate changes in attitudes and behaviour – but how the change happens differs.
When you deliberately try to change another person’s behaviour through your own words and actions, you’re practising persuasion.
It is about communicating through both your verbal and non-verbal channels in a way that purposely changes someone’s attitudes and behaviour.
If you can change another person’s thoughts, feelings and behaviour based on your character, you’re practising influence.
It is a catch-all term based on a person’s character that defines a deliberate effort to direct or change someone’s attitudes, feelings or behaviour through example.
Persuasion requires that you communicate what you want, whereas influence works silently through example.
What do some persuasive techniques include?
Being clear about what you want
Respecting the other person
Appealing to his values
Stating your proposal to meet his needs
Listening for feelings as well as content
Demonstrating empathy
Matching your tone of voice and body language to his
Going for win–win outcomes
What are the two major motivations in life?
The two major motivations in life centre around the desire to gain something and the fear of loss.
If someone is motivated by the desire for gain, he wants more of what he values in life – for example, respect, wealth, health and happiness. As a persuader, you need to find out what he wants and show him how he can gain more of what he values by adopting your proposal.
If someone is motivated by a fear of losing, he wants to hold on to what he already has – such as health, financial stability, a relationship or an achievement. You can persuade him to consider your proposition to prevent that loss from happening.
How do you become influential?
To become influential you have to:
Be patient. Influence is built over time, whether you’re a parent, a friend or the CEO of an international corporation.
Build trust. Be reliable, dependable, consistent and honest when dealing with people.
Listen to people. Take an interest in their personal and professional lives to demonstrate that you care about them.
Praise people’s efforts. When you acknowledge the achievements of others, they feel safe around you and believe you’re looking out for their best interests, and when you require them to perform, they will.
How do you build trust?
You build trust by:
Being honest, loyal and respectful.
Getting to know people, being curious about them and seeking to support them.
Listening to and acting on what people tell you in ways that are beneficial to all.
Recognising people’s accomplishments and making them feel good about themselves.
Why do people often fear change?
The fear of loss is frequently stronger than the desire for gain, which is why people often fear change.
Change represents risk and uncertainty.
Fear of potential loss can feel threatening.
When you know what people fear losing, you can position your proposal in a way that protects what they value.
Demonstrating how your proposal avoids any loss for them persuades them to act in a way that helps you achieve your goals.
Which are some strategies that may help to get someone to change his behaviour, overcome his resistance, and encourage him to consider your suggestions and come up with a solution he owns?
Appeal to his beliefs and values. More than being resistant to change, people are resistant to being changed. If someone thinks that your idea threatens his core values, he may become defensive and not listen to you. If you believe that what someone’s doing is not in his best interests, point out how the behaviour is at odds with his beliefs and values.
Point out the consequences of his behaviour. People only change their behaviour when they believe the risks of standing still are greater than the risks of changing direction. Show him what he stands to lose if he keeps doing what he’s doing.
Ask relevant questions. It’s easier for people to accept and believe an idea if they feel they’ve discovered it themselves rather than if you imposed yours on them. Ask the other person what he thinks would be the best course of action or if he thinks that a suggestion you offer may work.
Be prepared for resistance. Not everyone’s going to think that your way is the best way. If someone disagrees with you, listen to what he has to say and try to see the situation from his point of view. That way, you can find out his objections and come up with ways of addressing them.
Understand what motivates him. Emotion is the greatest human motivator, whether it’s positive – love, appreciation, aspiration – or negative – guilt, fear, anxiety. The most effective way of getting people to change is to appeal to their motivators rather than your personal desires and beliefs.
Let go of your emotional attachment to your ideas. What works for you doesn’t necessarily work for others. Keep your mind open for counter-arguments and feedback to your suggestions. A person may very well come up with his own solution by arguing against yours.
In the twenty-first century, what has replaced force and coercion in the workplace?
Chapter 1
Laying the Groundwork for Persuasion and Influence
Persuasion and influence has replaced force and coercion.
The days of ‘command and control’ leadership in the workplace and beyond are over. ‘Connect and collaborate’ is the new and improved mantra.
All of which means that people can no longer play the ‘because I said so’ card in order to get others to change their behaviours and beliefs.
