Personal And Family Issues

Question 1

Pre marital sex

Answer 1

Christian’s believe that sexual intercourse is a sacred act and should only take place in a committed relationship. Christian’s believe all people who are married should be chaste and the main Christian churches agree with this.

Question 2

Church teachings on pre marital sex - Presbyterian church.

Answer 2

‘Ideally god meant sex to be enjoyed in the context of full commitment in marriage. It is the physical expression of the deeper reality of two becoming one in the marriage.’

Explanation - people shouldn’t have a sexual history before marriage.

Question 3

Church teachings on pre marital sex - the church of Ireland.

Answer 3

‘ we believe that human sexuality is a wonderful grift from god and, at a time in life when they are most aware of this gift, we should urge that young people question any behavior that devalues this gift, or which hinders its fulfillment in the context of marriage.’

Explanation - to not waste the gift.

Question 4

What does ethics refer to?

Answer 4

It refers to how we make our decisions on what is right and wrong

Question 5

What influences our decisions on what is morally and ethically right and wrong?

Answer 5

Family
Friends
The Bible
Community
The media
Church
Education/school
Conscience

Question 6

Chastity

Answer 6

The act of never having sex (abstaining from sex)

Question 7

Civil partnership

Answer 7

A same sex couple register as civil partners of each other.

Question 8

Heterosexual relationship

Answer 8

A relationship between a man’s and a woman.

Question 9

Homosexual

Answer 9

A relationship where two individuals of the same gender are sexually attracted to each other.

Question 10

Pre-marital sex

Answer 10

Engaging in sexual intercourse before marriage.

Question 11

Lesbian

Answer 11

A woman who has same sex relations

Question 12

Celibate

Answer 12

Abstaining from marriage

Question 13

Who created sex

Answer 13

God

Question 14

Who is sex designed for

Answer 14

Married couples

Question 15

What is the purpose of sex?

Answer 15

To have babies and for pleasure.

Question 16

In what context should sex be experienced

Answer 16

Within a marriage.

Question 17

Reasons for marital sex (for)

Answer 17

Sex can be a healthy aspect to a relationship that can bring a couple closer together; it can show love and commitment.

The desire to have sex is natural an it is a pleasurable act that couples should be able to enjoy
In today’s society, it is acceptable and more common for couples to cohabitate (live together) and have a sexual relationship.

Many couples do not see marriage as necessary; they have no intention or desire to get married, but are in love and still want to spend the rest of their lives together.

This could lead to a more stable marriage in the future.

Question 18

Reasons against marital sex

Answer 18

Monogamous heterosexual marriage is still the best defence against sexually transmitted diseases’ Presbyterian Church

The Bible teaches sex is a sacred act and a gift from God that should only take place within committed marriage relationship that is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife and they become one’
Gen 2:24
Risk of emotional hurt. If the relationship ends, they can be left feeling devalued and used.

‘Fornication... is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality’ Catholic Church

Prevents unwanted pregnancy

Question 19

Why do people live single lives?

Answer 19

Death of partner
Don’t wish to become involved with anyone else

Divorced
Too hurt
Unfair on other children

Still looking for the right person

Devote themselves to God and the service of others, as Christ did

Catholic Church: ‘It ‘enables [priests] to give themselves to God alone with an undivided heart in a remarkable manner’

The Church is their family – no distractions

They are nuns or priests.

Question 20

The Christian clergy and marriage

Answer 20

􏰀 The Christian Church has contrasting opinions about marriage for the clergy.
􏰀 Clerical marriage is an accepted practice in the protestant denominations and many ministers/pastors have families as well as being responsible for their congregations.

Question 21

Why does the Catholic Church recommend priests remain single?

Answer 21

The Catholic Church recommends that priests should
remain single because it…
“enables them to give themselves to God alone with an undivided heart in a remarkable manner”

Question 22

Different Christian attitudes of priest marriage?

Answer 22

Orthodox Churches
Priest can marry, but Married priests cannot become bishops

Catholic Church
The normal rule is neither priests or Bishops can marry

Protestant Churches
Allow priests to marry

Question 23

Should catholic priests celibate? Yes?

Answer 23

Being celibate sets priests apart from the rest of society. You know they must really be committed to God because of the sacrifice they make.

St Paul recommended celibacy as the best way of living.

Celibacy can be seen as a gift that helps priests deepen their relationship with God

Priestly work is very demanding, perhaps easier for someone with no family commitments.

Married priests raises more questions – inevitable divorce, inheritance, confession, marrying non Catholic.

Question 24

Should catholic priests celibate?

Answer 24

In Protestant denominations ministers and pastors are allowed to marry. They are still respected men of God.

Some think that sexual impulse is strong and it can be damaging to inhibit it

Some feel that married priests can bring the experience of marriage to benefit their ministry.

The Bible does not say that the clergy should not marry.

For the first 1000 years of Christianity priests were allowed to marry. Celibacy of priests is Church Discipline, not Church Doctrine.

At least one of the apostles (Peter – for Catholics, the first Pope) was married.

Question 25

Same sex relations

Answer 25

� A same-sex relationship is one where two men are attracted to each other or two women are attracted to each other. This is also known as a homosexual or gay relationship.
� Some people are sexually attracted to both men and women. They are called bisexual.
� In 2009, the age of homosexual consent in Northern Ireland was lowered to 16.

Question 26

Christian attitudes towards same-sex relations

Answer 26

� Christian viewpoints on same-sex re􏰀lationships vary from outright condemnation to complete acceptance.
� Some Christians condemn same-sex relationships and point to Paul’s writings in the NT:
“…the wicked will not possess God’s Kingdom…people who are immoral…adulterers or homosexual…”

Explanation - if you’re gay you cannot get into the kingdom of god.

Question 27

The lesbian and gay Christian movement.

Answer 27

� The LGCM campaigns for full equality for homosexuals
within the Church.
� They support gay marriage and gay marriage rights.
� They believe gay ministers/priests should be allowed to live full lives, including loving, committed, sexual relationships.

Question 28

The Catholic Churches opinions on lesbian and gay communities

Answer 28

Being homosexual is not a sin. – “men and women who have deep-seated tendencies…must be accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity

Homosexual relationships are a sin – “homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered”

Homosexuals should be chaste. – “homosexual
persons are called to chastity…”
The sacraments of the Church will help them do this.

Homophobia is condemned – “unjust
discrimination…should be avoided…”0

Question 29

Why do Christian’s have this opinion on the gays and lesbians?

Answer 29

� The Bible condemns homosexual activity.
� Sex should be creative as well as unitive. It is not possible for homosexuals to have creative sex.
� It is the teaching of the Magisterium found in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, which Catholics should believe.
� People cannot help their sexual orientation but they can control their sexual behaviour.

Question 30

What are the arguments against the catholic point of view?

Answer 30

� If sex should always be creative, then is sex for an infertile couple wrong?
� What about a woman who has reached menopause and is no longer physically able to have a baby?
� Gay couples can now have families, through adoption, surrogacy or artificial insemination – could that be seen as a creative element in the relationship?

Question 31

What is the Anglican churches opinion on homosexuality?

Answer 31

Lambeth Conference 1998: Homosexual acts are “incompatible with Scripture.”

2003: C of E was prepared to appoint Jeffrey John as bishop - a priest living in celibate domestic partnership with a man.

Many C of I parishes, especially in Northern Ireland, are opposed to homosexual practice.

Question 32

The Presbyterian churches opinions on homosexuality?

Answer 32

� Many teenagers experience same-sex attractions - many do
not linger - part of sexual development.
� Young people feel confused about their sexuality. This can be down to upbringing and the promotion of alternative sexualities in our culture today.
� Young people need help to understand insecurities and self acceptance before they can come to terms to their sexual identity.

Question 33

What is the evangelical opinion on homosexuality?

Answer 33

• Homosexuality is a sin.
• Prayer can give homosexuals the power of the Holy Spirit to change their sexual preference (orientation).

Question 34

Why do the evangelicals have this opinion on homosexuality?

Answer 34

� The Bible is the direct word of God and as the Bible condemns homosexuality,
it must be wrong.
� The salvation of Christ can remove all sins, including homosexuality.
� All churches have taught this, even ones that now say homosexuality is acceptable.

However, the Evangelical Alliance has recently made this statement: 􏰀
“AT THE SAME TIME WE UTTERLY REPUDIATE HOMOPHOBIA AND CALL UPON CHURCHES TO WELCOME THOSE OF A HOMOSEXUAL ORIENTATION AS THEY WOULD WELCOME ANY OTHER PERSON.”
Can this be possible, bearing in mind the Church’s teaching about homosexuality?

Question 35

Why do the evangelicals have this opinion on homosexuality?

Answer 35

� The Bible is the direct word of God and as the Bible condemns homosexuality,
it must be wrong.
� The salvation of Christ can remove all sins, including homosexuality.
� All churches have taught this, even ones that now say homosexuality is acceptable.

However, the Evangelical Alliance has recently made this statement: 􏰀
“AT THE SAME TIME WE UTTERLY REPUDIATE HOMOPHOBIA AND CALL UPON CHURCHES TO WELCOME THOSE OF A HOMOSEXUAL ORIENTATION AS THEY WOULD WELCOME ANY OTHER PERSON.”
Can this be possible, bearing in mind the Church’s teaching about homosexuality?

Question 36

What is marriage?

Answer 36

� Marriage is a social, religious and spiritual union of
individual people.
� The ceremony that marks the beginning of a marriage is usually called a wedding.
� When you think of a wedding you may imagine a chuch wedding. However, there are other destinations that many people opt for. Can you think of any?
� The Catholic Church does not recognise a marriage that takes place outside the church.

Question 37

Name places where a couple might get married?

Answer 37

Church
Beach
Hotel
City hall
Important place to the couple
Abroad

Question 38

Why people choose to get married?

Answer 38

To get a visa.
To show their love for each other
Tradition
For money
Can’t have sex before married
Religious belief
To please parents
Arranged marriage

Question 39

Bible teachings on marriage

Answer 39

“Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man…That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” - Marriage is sacred. God created marriage and intends man and woman to become one through marriage.

“You shall not commit adultery.” - Marriage should be exclusive - between one man and one woman.

“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does…” - Marriage involves give and take.
Partners should be prepared to put each other’s life before their own.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” - Marriage should be built on love and respect. The love between a man and a woman should be compared to the love that Christ has for the Church.

Question 40

The Christian wedding ceremony o

Answer 40

1. Introduction and declaration of purpose - short homily on the importance and purpose of marriage.
2. The vows - required by law and most couples say:
   “To have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; till death do us part.”
3. Exchange of rings - symbol of unending love and exclusive commitment.
4. Warning - “Man must not separate, then, what God has joined together.”
5. Pronouncement that the couple are now married.
6. Signing of the register - a legal document which the couple and witnesses sign. Then they receive a marriage certificate.

Question 41

‘The Christian idea of marriage for life is no longer possible’ - agree

Answer 41

• Divorce is becoming increasingly common nowadays so many people would agree that the idea of marriage for life is unrealistic.
• People live a lot longer than in the past; if a couple marry in their twenties, they may have at least sixty years to spend together and people can change.
• Some couples nowadays prefer not to marry at all and live together without getting married.
• For some couples, the pressures of everyday living may place too much strain on the marriage. These may include debt, unemployment or bereavement.
• The media and society also seem to reinforce the idea that the Christian teaching on marriage is outdated. Divorce is often seen as acceptable, or even inevitable.

Question 42

‘The christian idea of marriage for life is no longer possible’ - disagree.

Answer 42

• Many marriages today are happy and successful and there is no reason why marriage for life should be no longer considered appropriate.
• Marriage is a commitment and with effort put into the relationship, there is no reason why it should not be life long.
• The couple need to have realistic expectations of marriage, and of each other, and also make sure right from the start that they are getting married for the right reasons.
• The Bible teaches that marriage should be permanent and this should be taken seriously by all Christian couples. Jesus said “What God has joined man must not separate”.
• Many marriages are long-lasting and we should focus on these rather than divorce statistics.

Question 43

Same sex marriage

Answer 43

� In England and Wales, the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 was passed on 17 July 2013, and the first marriages of same-sex couples took place on Saturday 29 March 2014.

“The Government believes that opening up marriage to all couples demonstrates society’s respect for all individuals, regardless of their sexuality, making our society fairer and more inclusive for all its members.”

Question 44

Northern Ireland and same sex marriage.

Answer 44

� Legalised on January 13th 2020. The first marriage took place on 11th February 2020.

� Gay marriage can now be carried out in a religious place of worship but Churches can refuse to carry out a marriage if they do not agree with it.

Question 45

Church teachings on marriage

Answer 45

Catholic Church
Sacred - established by the creator, god is the author of marriage.
To have children - children are the supreme gift of marriage.

Presbyterian church
Sacred - we believe in the sanctity of marriage, marriage was created by god
Permanent - life long partnership.
Exclusive - absolute faithfulness, only legitimate form of marriage is between man and woman.

Methodist church
Sacred -by the help of god, this love grows and deepens.
Permanent- life long union in mind, body and spirit. Permanence in the union is essential.
Exclusive - one man and one woman.
To have children - two fold purpose - fellowship and parenthood.

Church of Ireland
To have children - one of the functions of marriage is to provide a stable family unit in which children can be born and nurtured.

Question 46

Do you think people with little or no Christian faith should be allowed to get married in a Church? Yes!

Answer 46

� God welcomes everyone and therefore everyone should be allowed to get married in a church –
omnibenevolent.
� Although the couple may not have a faith, it could encourage them to have faith. The priest/minister speaks about the Christian purpose of marriage in the ceremony.
� Although the couple may not have faith, their parents may be strong believers and it would be important to them – tradition.
� If a couple get married in a church, they are more likely to have their children baptised too. This would mean strong links with a church and could encourage them to attend.
� Many churches require those wishing to get married to attend wedding-preparation classes. This may make a couple stronger and more able to work through difficulties and so cut the number of divorces

Question 47

Do you think people with little or no Christian faith should be allowed to get married in a Church? No!

Answer 47

� The vows – promises before God – will become meaningless.
� It is not enough to want to get married in Church for tradition or nice pictures – Church weddings are for people with a Christian faith, as it is a house of prayer.
� The religious elements, such as the readings and prayers will mean nothing to them.
� If the couple do not have a Christian faith, it could be offensive to those of a
Christian faith to allow them to marry in a Church ceremony.
� There are alternatives for people with no Christian faith when it comes to marriage – they can get married in a civil reception at a town hall or in a hotel.

Question 48

Marriage statistics in Northern Ireland

Answer 48

� In the Marriage Act 1836 and the Registration Act 1836 came into force in England and Wales, and provided the statutory basis for regulating and recording marriages.
� The Marriage (Northern Ireland) Order 2003 provided a greater choice of marriage venues and types of ceremony available, and made the preliminaries to a marriage the same for everyone.

Question 49

The benefits of marriage?

Answer 49

� Getting married is said to be linked to economic and health benefits, with married people having better physical and mental health, as well as living longer.
� You might think that people get married simply because they fall in love and want to be together forever but people get married for a number of reasons but there are other benefits to marriage…

Question 50

Social benefits of getting married.

Answer 50

Social: Marriage provides companionship - someone to share a lfe with.

Question 51

Emotional benefits of being married

Answer 51

Emotional: Marriage provides emotional support. People may feel wanted, cared for and understood as a result of being in a binding relationship - someone to turn to, share problems and reduce stress.

Question 52

Financial benefits of marriage

Answer 52

Financial: Married couples can share living expenses and mortgages. In some countries married couples have tax benefits that unmarried couples cannot avail of

Question 53

What problems do marriages face?

Answer 53

Money problems
Loss of jobs
Alcohol/drug abuse
False hopes
Lack of communication
Child abuse
Infertility
Bereavement
Children
Health problems
Domestic violence
Health problems
Sexual problems

Question 54

Marital problems statistics in Northern Ireland

Answer 54

In Northern Ireland it is estimated that one in three marriages end in separation or divorce.

In 2015 there were 2360 divorces granted in Northern Ireland

Question 55

How can a troubled marriage be saved?

Answer 55

� Christians believe that it is important to avoid a separation.
� All churches agree that counselling is vital.
� Organisations exist to help couples who experience difficulties in their marriage:

Question 56

Marriage counseling support - Relate

Answer 56

� Offers a range of relationship services that can help with a
number of relationship issues.
� People find that the organisation helps them to understand difficulties in their relationships and to change things for the better, or to prevent small problems becoming bigger by talking about them.

Question 57

The work of the organization Accord

Answer 57

� This is the Catholic Marriage Counseling Service.
� Christian organisation, based on Catholic principles.
� Helps couples and individuals to explore, reflect upon and resolve difficulties in their marriage and relationship.

Question 58

Divorce

Answer 58

The Matrimonial Causes (NI) Order 1978 states that to get a divorce a person has to satisfy the courts that they marriage has irretrievably broken down and that ONE of the following grounds exist:
� 1) Adultery – by the other party
� 2) Behaviour – makes it unreasonable for couple to stay together
� 3) Desertion – for two years
� 4) Separation & consent – lived apart for 2 years and the other party consents for divorce
� 5) Five year separation – the parties have lived apart for 5 years.

In many cases, despite attempts at trying to stay together, some couples admit that the only way forward for them is to get divorced.

Question 59

Who is affected by divorce

Answer 59

The parents
The children
The grandparents

Question 60

How do children suffer from divorce?

Answer 60

Confusion Loyalties – feeling torn between two
parents
•Grief
•Losing out on contact with one parent, experience feelings of loss and sadness- similar to bereavement.
•Behaviour – Anger and upset can lead to poor behaviour, eating disorders etc. All of which are symptoms of stress

Question 61

The Catholic Church on children in divorce.

Answer 61

“Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatised by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society.”
(Catechism of the Catholic Church)

Question 62

How do parents suffer from divorce?

Answer 62

Fear over what lies ahead
•Worried about money •Loneliness & depression
Stress of looking after children on their own
Lack of support from in-laws

Question 63

What does the Bible say about divorce?

Answer 63

Matthew 19:6 – “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
According to the Bible, God’s plan is for marriage to be a LIFELONG and PERMANENT commitment.
Malachi 2:16 – “’I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God of Israel.”
The Old Testament prophet Malachi clearly states God’s opinion on divorce

Question 64

Church teachings on family values

Answer 64

Christian parents believe it is their duty to bring their children up in the Christian faith. All Christian churches agree that it is important for parents to teach their children right from wrong, discipline their children within reason, and encourage their children to recognise the importance of Christian values.
Catechism of the Catholic church says:
‘The family is the community in which, from childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to honour God and make good use of freedom.’

Question 65

How do parents carry out the church teachings on family values?

Answer 65

Parents do this in the following ways…
1. PRAYER – teaching their childrent o pray. This might mean learning the Lord’s prayer, saying grace before meals and praying together as a family.
2. EXAMPLE – children learn by example; this can be bad as well as good. It is up to parents to set a good example for their children to follow, both in what they say and in what they do.
3. SPENDING TIME TOGETHER – this can be something as simple as having one meal together a day, so that family members can talk about what is going on in their lives.
4. TEACHING – Christian parents are encouraged to teach their children the Christian faith. They do this through Bible study in the home or by taking their children to church.
5. BAPTISM– in the Church of Ireland, Catholic, Methodist and Presbyterian churches, parents can choose to have their children baptized as babies. When a child is baptised they are welcomed into the family of the church. It is hoped that when the child is old enough to decide for him/herself that they will choose to follow the Christian faith.

Question 66

Church teachings on family values.

Answer 66

Some people believe that Christian church no longer has an impact on the wider society.
While parents may get their children baptized, many do not attend church services on a Sunday. Society has become more secular.
There is also a focus on material goods, technology and other things taking centre stage in people’s lives. It can be difficult for Christian parents to influence the lives of their children with so many distractions.
Music, fashion, social media, reality TV shows, etc, can all shape a young person’s values, attitudes and behaviour.

Question 67

“People live together rather than get married because they are too afraid of commitment.” Agree?

Answer 67

People are too afraid to get married in case it ends in divorce, thereby going against Jesus of “Man must not separate what God has joined together.”
Some couples may not wish to commit to social/traditional norms of society and therefore decide not to marry but to live together instead.
Some individuals may have grown up in broken homes, where parents have divorced and this may result in commitment issues – a safer option may be living together.
It is easier to leave your partner if you are not married
Media has normalised divorce within society e.g. people have divorce parties. The inevitability of divorce may result in couples living together instead of marrying

Question 68

“People live together rather than get married because they are too afraid of commitment.” Disagree?

Answer 68

Living together can also involve a mortgage and this displays a huge amount of commitment.
People decide to live together as opposed to getting married as they cannot afford the expense of a wedding day. Many couples spend thousands.
Many unmarried couples cohabit and have children. Some believe this shows a much bigger commitment than wedding vows.
Living together can be a good ‘test’ for a couple- like a trial marriage – this is very common in society today.
With the prevalence of divorce, marriage is not a good marker of commitment as people can still end their relationship with relative ease.