pd_catechism_JW3

Question 1

What should you do with anxiety?

Answer 1

Nothing. Just observe it. If there are any distortions, they will reveal themselves.

Question 2

When I fall short of a goal, instead of telling myself I shouldn’t have failed and mustn’t do it again, what can I do?

Answer 2

Ask myself, “What can I learn from this?”

Question 3

So you think your life doesn’t measure up?

Answer 3

Your life, by all normative standards, is wonderful. There are no absolute criteria for judging the awesomeness of a life. The subjective aspect – enjoying life – is what matters.

Question 4

Will people think less of you if you’re not successful?

Answer 4

No. They may think MORE of you, because you will have shown you’re human.

Question 5

Does having high standards in life help you succeed?

Answer 5

No, the evidence suggests the opposite.

Question 6

What is guaranteed by constantly aiming for the best?

Answer 6

Failure. Your own performance will fluctuate; expecting a perfect performance every time is an unreasonable demand to make of yourself.

Question 7

What are 3 things you’re looking forward to today/tomorrow?

Answer 7

.

Question 8

What are 3 beautiful things you’re going to see today/tomorrow?

Answer 8

.

Question 9

What are 3 things you’re grateful for?

Answer 9

.

Question 10

Are good looks a recipe for happiness?

Answer 10

No

Question 11

What do you have to offer beyond your looks?

Answer 11

You’re intelligent, kind, sensitive, funny, compassionate, unusual, musical, warm, interesting, curious.

Question 12

You’ve noticed something ugly about yourself. What now?

Answer 12

You’re not looking at yourself holistically. You’re a pretty girl, and the best evidence of this is your spectacular success with men (cf. Francis). Chances are you’re fixating on a detail no one else will notice.

Question 13

Will people like you less if you’re not looking amazing?

Answer 13

No. They’ll be far more affected by how you behave towards them.

Question 14

What do you do if you feel like you’re not contributing socially?

Answer 14

Remember you don’t have to be the life and soul of the party. Expecting to be this way is a recipe for suffering. Take a back seat and enjoy other people, and they’ll enjoy your company too.

Question 15

Sometimes the _________ person is the most _________ in the room.

Answer 15

Sometimes the quietest person is the most powerful in the room.

Question 16

What is the fundamental error in comparing yourself to someone else?

Answer 16

There are no absolute values to ground the comparison. Your perception of another person as superior is purely a matter of opinion.

Question 17

Will people think you’re boring?

Answer 17

No. You’re not a hired comedian. You’re allowed to sit back and listen. You’ll say something when you have something to say.

Question 18

You’re preoccupied with thoughts of some future catastrophe. What’s the error here?

Answer 18

You can’t predict the future. Think of the things that have worried you over the years. How many of them actually came true? Attempting to predict the future won’t bring you any closer to an accurate prediction, and it will just make you miserable.

Question 19

When things have ACTUALLY gone wrong in your life, how have you handled it?

Answer 19

Generally, pretty well. In fact, you’ve often been at your most resourceful in adversity.

Question 20

Do you have to be in control to be safe?

Answer 20

No, total control is impossible for anyone to achieve. There are always too many random variables, too many things which may go wrong. If your peace of mind depends upon control you’ll never stop worrying.

Question 21

How should you greet anxiety?

Answer 21

As an old friend. Welcome him in.