Part I — Scene 3 Flashcards
START OF SCENE
(Phone rings again.)
Hello.—Yes, Mr. Gillam… She did? Are you sure?… How shocking! Thank you, Mr. Gillam—the hat is here.
WINEMILLER. Alma! Alma, your mother———!
I know, Father, Mr. Gillam just called. He told me she picked up a white plumed hat and he pretended not to notice in order to save you the embarrassment, so I just let him charge it to us.
WINEMILLER. That hat looks much too expensive.
It’s fourteen dollars. You pay six of it, Father, and I’ll pay eight.
WINEMILLER. What an insufferable cross we have to bear!
Now I have a thousand and one things to do before my club meeting tonight, so you work quietly on your picture puzzle or I shall take the hat back, plume and all.
MRS. WINEMILLER. The pieces don’t fit! Don’t fit!
Elm 362———
JOHN. Hello?
John!
JOHN. Miss Alma?
You recognized my voice?
JOHN. I recognized your laugh.
Ha-ha! How are you, you stranger, you!
JOHN. I’m pretty well, Miss Alma. How’re you doing?
Surviving, just surviving! Isn’t it fearful!
JOHN. Uh-huh.
You seem unusually laconic. Or perhaps I should say more than laconic.
JOHN. I had a big night and I’m just recovering from it.
Well, sir, I have a bone to pick with you!
JOHN. What’s that, Miss Alma?
The time of our last conversation on the Fourth of July, you said you were going to take me riding in your automobile.
JOHN. Aw. Did I say that?
Yes indeed you did, sir! And all these hot afternoons I’ve been breathlessly waiting and hoping that you would remember that promise. But now I know how insincere you are. Time and time again the four-wheeled phenomenon flashes by the rectory, and I have yet to put my—my quaking foot in it.
MRS. WINEMILLER. My quaking foot in it!
Mother! Shhhh!
JOHN. What was that, Miss Alma? I didn’t understand you?
I was just reprimanding you, sir! Castigating you verbally! Ha-ha!
JOHN. What about, Miss Alma?
Never mind. I know how busy you are!—Mother, hush, please!
JOHN. I’m afraid we have a bad connection.
I hate telephones. I don’t know why, but they always make me laugh as if someone were poking me in the ribs! I swear to goodness they do!
JOHN. Why don’t you just go to your window and I’ll go to mine, and we can holler across?
The yard’s so wide I’m afraid it would crack my voice! And I’ve got to sing at somebody’s wedding tomorrow.
JOHN. You’re going to sing at a wedding?
Yes. “The Voice That Breathed O’er Eden.” And I’m as hoarse as a frog!
JOHN. Better come over and let me give you a gargle.
Nasty gargles—I hate them!
MRS. WINEMILLER. Nasty gargles—I hate them!
Mother, shhh!—please! As you no doubt have gathered, there is some interference at his end of the line! What I wanted to say is—you remember my mentioning that little club I belong to?
JOHN. Aw! Aw, yes! Those intellectual meetings!
Oh, now, don’t call it that. It’s just a little informal gathering every Wednesday, and we talk about the new books and read things out loud to each other!