P-u Flashcards
Flirting
Statement
Aimed at no one (low risk)
“That’s a ridiculous statement.”
Flirting
Tease
Aimed at her (medium risk)
“Wow, you are a ridculous person for making that statement.”
Flirting
Flirt
Aimed at us / our relationship (high risk)
“Wow, you are a ridculous person… I don’t know if we’re going to get along.”
Flirting
Flirt Progression (Ex. 1)
e.g. strange interest
- “That’s a strange interest.”
- “You’re a strange person for being interested in that.”
- “You’re a stange person for being interested in that, and I don’t date strange people.”
Flirting
Flirt Progression (Ex. 2)
e.g. weird home state
- “That’s a weird home state.”
- “I’m not quite sure about what that says about you as a person?”
- “Yeah, I thought you were cute, but now I’m not so sure we’re going to get along.”
Sensual Topics
- Drugs
- Travel
- Risk Taking
- Breaking the Law
- Adventures
- Crazy “moves, places”
False Time Constraints
- “I have to go in a second, but…”
- “I can’t stay super long, but…”
- “I have somewhere to be in a bit, but…”
- “I’m getting tired of this club, I might have to leave soon, maybe a drink or two, but I might not stay all night.”
Key Lines
Qualifying
- “You don’t seem like the worst person to hang out with…”
- “It would be fun to take you on an adventure, but I don’t trust you yet…”
- “There is this great place, maybe I’ll take you there, but let’s hang out here a little longer.”
- “I don’t take a lot of people there, maybe one day, probably not tonight.”
The Wall Exercise
- L1: keep talking, despite no response
- L2: estabilish premise (e.g. “I like you, but you’re so flat.”)
- L3: H-V frame (e.g. you’re wanted, the wall likes you, you’re used to getting positive social feedback)
Reminder
Too Much Power
Once you have enough power, focus on getting to know her and moving forward, not on acquiring more and more power
Push-Pulls
- If you say a neg., follow w/ pos.
- If you say a pos., follow w/ neg.
- If you say something neutral, follow it w/ either
Push-Pulls (Exs)
- “You’re style is so 80’s, but you seem confident so I’ll let it pass.”
- “You’ve got nice style, but clearly you’re trying too hard.”
- “You’re wearing Bedrocks… Bedrock crew!”
Openers
Openers (Beginner)
- “Hey, I like your look, and so I wanted to come meet you.”
- “Hey, you seem very interesting, and so I wanted to come meet you.”
- “Hey, I don’t normally approach strangers, but I was struck by your [smile/energy/style] and I just had to come say hello.”
- “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice your book/phone case/t-shirt. I’m also a big fan of [author/band/TV show]. What’s your favorite [book/album/episode]?”
Openers
Openers (Intermediate)
- “That necklace is so 20 years ago, but you have some confidence so I’ll let it pass.” (neg → pos)
- “You have a really cool look, but clearly you’re trying a little too hard.” (pos → neg)
- “You’re wearing a black shirt… black shirt crew!” (neutral → positive)
- “You’re wearing a black shirt… we’re too similar… it’s not going to work.” (neutral → neg)
- “You’re wearing a black shirt… really? I little more unoriginal please?” (neutral → neg)
The 5 A’s
- Assertive (saying, doing, and standing up for what you want)
- Assured (Being confident that you’re high-value, being a bit cocky, and being confident in making moves)
Key Lines
- “I got to go in a minute…”
- “You and I are not going to get along…”
- “Stop loooking at me like that…”
- “You’re trouble…, but what’s your (other person’s) name?”
-
“Can you please stop being so cute, I’m trying not to like you.”
- “Look, I’m even holding your hand now… we have to stop.”
- “I have to get up early in the morning, but I guess you could come over for just a few minutes…”
- ‘Cuse me. I absolutley love your look. It’s so v elegant… Miami… but not quite.
- Actually, idk, you and i might not get along, but I feel like you won’t be boring
- “I got to go in a minute…”
- Have set stories, jokes, lines that work, but use them at the right time
- “I could maybe be tempted for a very quick drink with a Russian girl. Could be maybe fun?”
When to Leave an Interaction
Expected Value
Things to Master
- Keeping the Frame
- M2W
- Us Together
- Her Chasing Me
- Teasing
- Flirting
- Push-Pulls
- False-Time Constraints
- Cold Reads
- Qualifying Them
- Deescalating
Closing Lines
- What are your thoughts on dried fruit?
- “Are you adventurous?”
Shit Tests
Ways to Pass
- Agree + Exaggerate
- Misinterpret
- Ignore / Side-Step
Shit Test Responses
- “Yes, I say that to every girl. I’ve actually said it 500 times today. It was weird when I said it to my Grama though… do you think I should stop doing that?”
- “Actually I wrote that just for you, and it was so poetic, and now I’m devastated.”
- “Hey, stop looking at my body… my eyes are up here.”
- “What type of girl would ask if you’re so confident? You looking for tips?”
- “Thank you. That’s why I bought it.”
- “And it’s staying on tonight, thank you.”
- “I was taking a page out of your arrogance humor.”
- “Thanks for noticing.”
- “Yep, I have no answer for that. Can we j be normal now?”
- “Glad you like it.”
- “I’m flattered by you for noticing. I guess that’s your thing, right?”
- “I’m glad you like…”
- “I’m glad you’re paying so much attention to me.”
Make Her Feel Important
Make her feel like she’s special, unique, etc. Yet balance this w framing yourself still as high-value
Key Lines: 2
- “This probably isn’t going to go anywhere.”
- “Wow… okay, you can go… Why are you still here? No seriously get out of here.”
- “Yeah, I’m not really into that… I don’t think we’re going to get along.”
- “I love that sweater… I love that you’re trying to bring the 80’s back.”
- “You and I would not get along.”
Plotlining
- The storyline with women is meeting them, creating building negative tension, then eventually switching that tension to positive, then becoming attracted to each other (think When Harry Met Sally)
- So, w women, don’t just talk about something and then run out of things to say, find a new topic and repeat… start with a central topic of negative tension (like that you don’t like their type) and then comeback to that throughout
Disqualify as you Escalate
- “Hey, I got to go in a minute, but anyway…”
- Escalating: sitting down
- Disqualifying: I have to go in a minute
- E.g. “I have to get up early in the morning, but I guess you could come over for just a few minutes…”
Plotlines
- Definition: a series of events which induce jealousy in a woman
- For women you think you can get…
- PL: I don’t want to like you, but you’re making it difficult
- For women that take more effort…
- PL: initially push them away / ignore them to the point that they’re not used to it and are trying to get your attention…
- “Normally I’d go after girls like you, but there’s j something about you that I’m not feeling.”
- PL: initially push them away / ignore them to the point that they’re not used to it and are trying to get your attention…
- There are plenty more PLs… research and use one’s you like + work w the situation
- For women you think you can get…
- Have a plotline, but not a script
Implementation, 1
- Add 1-2 New Bits a Night
- Trust yourself for where you are in the process + that you’ll succeed
Have a Structured Back-up Plan
- The Winding Forest Path
- Also, for set things that happen (e.g. she gets dragged away by her friends), have a plan in place so you know what to do
Expected Value
- So if you’re w/ a 5 who’s really into you, maybe you stay
- So if you’re w/ a 7 who’s not too sold, maybe you leave
- So if you’re w/ an 8, who’s not too sold, maybe you stay
Free Mental RAM
- Have some things you say often… go-to lines
- Know how to escalate, where you’ll take her next before home, etc.
Finding Your Own Style
- Imitate before you innovate ⭐️
- Your style should get you toward your goal
- What is your end goal w game? What is it you got into game for? ⭐️
- What type of interactions do you like? ⭐️
- What are you best at? ⭐️
- No Matter the Style…
- Trail + Error
- You need: Access + Attraction + Follow-Through
- Congruence w Closing
- A Plotline
- Having a Few Canned Things
- Never Stop Learning
- Never Forget How Fun This, Be In Love w Game + Having Fun
My Best DHVs
- Company website, IG, reviews
- SE Asia stories
- Van life stories
- Skills
- Business success
- Body
- Those I know / am connected with
- Epic photos
- Epic stories
My Stories
- Helping Caitlin, OA Tour
- Growth, purpose, business owner, knows what I want, extremely thoughtful, outdoorsy, positive, caring, lifestyle design, ideal lifestyle, foundation work situation, thought leader
- Vietnam, Ms. Tu
- V unique, storyteller, adventurous, fun, vagabond / traveler, gives back, extremely independent / self-reliant
- Physics Homework
- Life balance, knows everyone, not a rule follower
Key Things to Master
- False-Time Constraints
- Keeping the Frame
- M2W
- Us Together
- Her Chasing Me
- Teasing
- Flirting
- Push-Pulls
- Qualifying Them
- Deescalating
Key Lines, 3
- “This probably isn’t going to go anywhere.”
- “Wow! Okay, you can go…”
- “Yeah, I’m not really into that… I don’t think we’re going to get along.”
- “Hey, I love your style… I really like how you’re going all in on the _____ vibe.”
- “I got to go in a minute…”
- “You and I would not get along.”
- “You and I are not going to get along…”
- “Stop loooking at me like that…”
- “You’re trouble…, but what’s your (other person’s) name?”
- “Can you please stop being so cute, I’m trying not to like you.”
- “Look, I’m even holding your hand now… we have to stop.”
- “I could be tempted, maybe, for a very quick drink with a _____ girl. Could be maybe fun?”
- Set stories
- Set jokes
- Set lines that work
The Path
- Open
- Premise
- Evaluate
- Close
The Path
Open
Goal: create a conversation
The Path
Premise
- Goal: get her to like you, size her up
- Frame: man assessing woman frame; there’s a chance we could be together
The Path
Evaluate
- Goal: connect, and create the narrative (story between you and her)
- Frame: man assessing woman frame; I like you, but not completely
The Path
Close
- Goal: get agreement from her on a future action
- Frame: I’m hard to get, but going to get to know her
Open
Pre-Open
- The point where you get the girl’s attention
-
“Hey, ‘cuse me.”
- Like she dropped her wallet
- Pause
- If no response, follow up pre-open…
- “No, you…”
Open
Opener
- Tonality
- Pacing
- Be clear, heard
- Not too fast
- Pauses
- “I absolutely love your look. It’s so v elegant… Seattle… but not quite. I’m guessing… I actually have to go in a minute. Actually, idk, you and I might not get along, but I feel like you won’t be boring.”
Open
Follow-up
- She’s got this look, I’m going to try + describe it, make an assumption about her based on this look
-
It makes me think you’re like this…
- Tease
- Push-pull
- Neutral opinion (could be good or bad)
Open
Sub-steps
- Angle
- Pre-open
- Eye Contact
- Light Smile
- Opener
- Pause
- Let Her Speak
- Follow-up
- Pause
Open
Tips
- Use false time constraints if her focus drifts
- Give her time to talk
- Don’t be overly complimentary
Premise
Sub-steps
- MaW Frame
- M2W
- Tension
- e.g. flirting
- Unearth Her Blueprint
- Evaluate / Qualify
- Sexual Tension
- See “The Gateway to Sexual Conversations”
- Next Location (if applicable)
Evaluate
Sub-steps
- Converse + Connect
- Showcase the Aspects of you Which Align
- Build Your Narrative
- Who are you?
- Align w/ Her Values
- Quickly unearth her values and present the parts of you most in alignment w them
- Paint the Scene
- Tell stories about your that paint a picture of what it would be like to be with you
- Tell Stories
- Tell Facts About You
- Share Your Opinions
- Paint the Scene
- Quickly unearth her values and present the parts of you most in alignment w them
- Align w/ Her Values
- Who are you?
- Physical Connection
- Wheel of Fortune Analogy
- Know when you have enough letters to solve
- 1st Ask for Close
Close
Sub-steps
- 2nd Ask for Close
- “Are you adventurous?”
- Number
- Instant date / next location (e.g. drinks, date)
- Go home
- “Are you adventurous?”
- Empathize: Solve the Problem, Don’t Give In
- Showcase Belief in Yourself as an Amazing “Product”
- 3rd Ask for Close
- Number
- Instant date / next location (e.g. drinks, date)
- Go home
Flirting
Disagreeing
Strive to disagree for the first 5 mins of meeting a girl, then slowly start to agree more and more
Framing
Man to Woman Frames
- How you’d get along
- How you’d be as friends
- What type of relationship you’d have if you had one
- Who would do the laundry at the crib
- Who would choose the places to travel
- Whether she’d be a good… travel partner… or not?
- Climbing partner
- Backpacking partner
- Road trip partner
- Roomate
- Gym partner
- Someone to work w/
- Employee
- Girlfriend
- Mother
- Sister/ daughter-in-law