NVC Summary

Question 1

What does NVC stand for?

Answer 1

Nonviolent Communication

Question 2

What are the four areas focused on in NVC?

Answer 2

Observing, feeling, needing, and requesting

Question 3

What does NVC help us connect with?

Answer 3

Each other and ourselves

Question 4

What kind of environment does NVC foster?

Answer 4

One of deep listening, respect, and empathy

Question 5

What is the ultimate goal of NVC?

Answer 5

To engender a mutual desire to give from the heart

Question 6

How do people use NVC?

Answer 6

To respond compassionately to themselves, create deeper personal relationships, or build effective relationships at work or in the political arena

Question 7

For what purposes is NVC used worldwide?

Answer 7

To mediate disputes and conflicts at all levels

Question 8

What is the nature of humans regarding compassion?

Answer 8

Humans naturally enjoy giving and receiving compassion

Question 9

What is life-alienating communication?

Answer 9

It is a form of communication that leads to harm to ourselves and others and includes moralistic judgments, comparisons, and demands

Question 10

How do moralistic judgments affect compassion?

Answer 10

Moralistic judgments imply wrongness or badness and can prevent acting in harmony with our values, blocking compassion

Question 11

Why are comparisons considered life-alienating?

Answer 11

Comparisons can block compassion for ourselves and others

Question 12

What does life-alienating communication obscure?

Answer 12

It obscures the awareness that we are responsible for our own thoughts, feelings, and actions

Question 13

How do demands in communication affect compassion?

Answer 13

Communicating our desires as demands is a characteristic of language that blocks compassion

Question 14

What is the first component of Nonviolent Communication (NVC)?

Answer 14

The separation of observation from evaluation

Question 15

What happens when observation is combined with evaluation?

Answer 15

Others may hear criticism and resist what is being said

Question 16

What does NVC discourage in terms of language use?

Answer 16

NVC discourages static generalizations

Question 17

How should observations be made according to NVC?

Answer 17

Observations should be specific to time and context

Question 18

Give an example of an observation specific to time and context.

Answer 18

Hank Smith has not scored a goal in twenty games is an example of an observation specific to time and context

Question 19

What is an example of a static generalization that NVC aims to avoid?

Answer 19

Hank Smith is a poor soccer player is an example of a static generalization

Question 20

What is the second necessary component for expressing ourselves?

Answer 20

Feelings

Question 21

Why is it important to develop a vocabulary of feelings?

Answer 21

To clearly and specifically name or identify our emotions for better connection with others

Question 22

How can expressing our feelings help us?

Answer 22

It can help resolve conflicts and allow for vulnerability

Question 23

What does NVC distinguish in the expression of feelings?

Answer 23

The expression of actual feelings from words and statements that describe thoughts, assessments, and interpretations

Question 24

What is the third component of NVC regarding our feelings?

Answer 24

The acknowledgment of the needs behind our feelings

Question 25

What are the four options for receiving a negative message according to NVC?

Answer 25

(1) Blame ourselves, (2) blame others, (3) sense our own feelings and needs, (4) sense the feelings and needs hidden in the other person's negative message

Question 26

How are judgments, criticisms, diagnoses, and interpretations of others described in NVC?

Answer 26

They are alienated expressions of our own needs and values

Question 27

What tends to happen when others hear criticism?

Answer 27

They tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack

Question 28

Why is directly connecting our feelings to our needs beneficial?

Answer 28

It makes it easier for others to respond compassionately

Question 29

Why can identifying and revealing our needs be frightening, especially for women?

Answer 29

Because we live in a world that often judges us harshly for doing so, and women are socialized to ignore their own needs while caring for others

Question 30

What are the three stages of developing emotional responsibility?

Answer 30

(1) Emotional slavery, (2) the obnoxious stage, and (3) emotional liberation

Question 31

What is "emotional slavery" in the context of NVC?

Answer 31

Believing ourselves responsible for the feelings of others

Question 32

What characterizes "the obnoxious stage" in developing emotional responsibility?

Answer 32

Refusing to admit to caring what anyone else feels or needs

Question 33

What does "emotional liberation" entail according to NVC?

Answer 33

Accepting full responsibility for our own feelings but not the feelings of others, while being aware that we can never meet our own needs at the expense of others

Question 34

What is the fourth component of NVC focused on?

Answer 34

It focuses on what we would like to request of each other to enrich our lives

Question 35

How should requests be phrased according to NVC?

Answer 35

Requests should avoid vague, abstract, or ambiguous phrasing and use positive action language, stating what is being requested rather than what is not

Question 36

Why is clarity important in communication?

Answer 36

Clarity increases the likelihood of receiving what we want because it ensures our message is understood as intended

Question 37

How can we verify if our message has been accurately received?

Answer 37

By learning how to find out if our message has been accurately heard, especially in group settings to avoid initiating unproductive conversations

Question 38

When are requests perceived as demands?

Answer 38

Requests are received as demands when listeners believe they will be blamed or punished if they do not comply

Question 39

How can we indicate that we are making a request, not a demand?

Answer 39

By expressing our desire for compliance only if the listener can do so willingly, thus building trust

Question 40

What is and isn't the objective of NVC?

Answer 40

The objective is not to change people and their behavior to get our way, but to establish relationships based on honesty and empathy that fulfill everyone’s needs