Never Split The Difference Flashcards
1
Q
Labels are simple and effective
A
Labels are simple and effective
2
Q
It seems like
A
It seems like
3
Q
It sounds like
A
It sounds like
4
Q
It looks like
A
It looks like
5
Q
It feels like
A
It feels like
6
Q
You seem like
A
You seem like
7
Q
You sound like
A
You sound like
8
Q
You look like
A
You look like
9
Q
Leave I out
A
Leave I out
10
Q
The word I can cause an interruption
A
of the other sides thinking.
11
Q
Labels can be used to gather information
A
at times better than questions.
12
Q
Label Vs Question Example
A
Label Vs Question Example
13
Q
What are you thinking about this?
A
What are you thinking about this?
14
Q
It seems like you’re giving this a lot thought.
A
It seems like you’re giving this a lot thought.
15
Q
It seems like you’re thinking about something here.
A
It seems like you’re thinking about something here.
16
Q
It seems like you saw some things you liked.
A
It seems like you saw some things you liked.
17
Q
You can almost do an entire negotiation with labels
A
You can almost do an entire negotiation with labels
18
Q
Labels increase your odds.
A
Labels increase your odds.
19
Q
Negative labels
A
Negative labels
20
Q
It seems like you hate X
A
It seems like you hate X
21
Q
It seems like you dislike X.
A
It seems like you dislike X.
22
Q
It seems like you despise X.
A
It seems like you despise X.
23
Q
It seems like X is a problem for you.
A
It seems like X is a problem for you.
24
Q
It seems like you have disdain for X.
A
It seems like you have disdain for X.
25
Labeling Negatives Is A Negotiation Superpower
Labeling Negatives Is A Negotiation Superpower
26
Negatives have 3 to 9 times the impact on decision making.
Negatives have 3 to 9 times the impact on decision making.
26
Labeling negatives
diffuses negatives.
27
Don’t deny the negative
label it.
28
The NO Question
The NO Question
28
Is now a bad time?
Is now a bad time?
29
Would it be out of the question?
Would it be out of the question?
29
Is it ridiculous?
Is it ridiculous?
30
Would it be impossible?
Would it be impossible?
30
Is it a bad idea?
Is it a bad idea?
30
Am I out of line?
Am I out of line?
31
Have you given up on?
Have you given up on?
31
The secret to gaining the upper hand in negotiation
is giving the other side the illusion of control.
32
The key to power negotiations
is deference.
33
Deference
respect shown for another person esp. because of that person's experience, knowledge, age, or power.
34
Mirroring
Mirroring
34
Repeat the last (or critical) 3 words of what someone else has said
Repeat the last (or critical) 3 words of what someone else has said
35
I need the quarterly report on my desk by the end of the day.
End of the day?
36
I need it for my 1 o’clock meeting tomorrow.
1 o’clock?
37
I like to review it beforehand, so that I’m prepared for the meeting.
Prepared for the meeting?
38
NO Simulation
NO Simulation
39
Do you feel like your organization has reached peak productivity?
Do you feel like your organization has reached peak productivity?
40
Are you hoping that productivity will improve on its own?
Are you hoping that productivity will improve on its own?
41
Are you against having a hard look at our technology
to see how we could improve your overall performance and actually save you money in the long run?
42
Do you feel that I haven’t performed well enough
to become successful at the corporate level?
43
Tactical Empathy
Tactical Empathy
44
Thats a very generous offer
Thats a very generous offer
45
That price is more than fair
That price is more than fair
46
Thank you for taking the time to talk to me
Thank you for taking the time to talk to me
47
Calibrated Question
Calibrated Question
48
What are we trying to accomplish?
What are we trying to accomplish?
49
What’s the core issue here?
What’s the core issue here?
50
How does that affect things?
How does that affect things?
51
How does this affect the rest of your team?
How does this affect the rest of your team?
52
How on board are the people not on this call?
How on board are the people not on this call?
53
What do your colleagues see as their main challenges in this area?
What do your colleagues see as their main challenges in this area?
54
What are we up against here?
What are we up against here?
54
What is the biggest challenge you face?
What is the biggest challenge you face?
55
What happens if you do nothing?
What happens if you do nothing?
56
Accusations Audit
Accusations Audit
57
You may find this ridiculous
You may find this ridiculous
58
You may think I haven’t done my homework
You may think I haven’t done my homework
58
You may feel insulted by my offer
You may feel insulted by my offer
59
I’m embarrassed to tell you my offer
I’m embarrassed to tell you my offer
60
Strategic Umbrage
I don’t see how that would ever work
60
Saying NO with Calibrated Questions
How am I supposed to do that?
61
Deflecting their anchor
What are we trying to accomplish here?
62
Pivot to terms: detour to non-monetary issues
Let’s put price off to the side for a moment and talk about what would make this a good deal?
63
Pivot to terms: detour to non-monetary issues
What else would you be able to offer to make that a good price for me?
64
Non-cash offers
list of non-cash items possessed by me or my counterpart that would be valuable?
65
How will we know we’re on track?
How will we know we’re on track?
66
How will we address things if we find we’re off track?
How will we address things if we find we’re off track?
67
What do your colleagues see as their main challenges in this area?
What do your colleagues see as their main challenges in this area?
67
What do you hope to achieve by going?
What do you hope to achieve by going?
68
What makes you ask?
What makes you ask?
69
What about X is important to you?
What about X is important to you?
70
How can I help make this better for us?
How can I help make this better for us?
71
How would you like me to proceed?
How would you like me to proceed?
72
What brought us into this situation?
What brought us into this situation?
73
How can we solve the problem?
How can we solve the problem?
74
What are we trying to accomplish here?
What are we trying to accomplish here?
75
We’ve given you a fair offer
Fair? It seems like you’re ready to provide the evidence that supports that.
76
Have you given up on working with us?
Have you given up on working with us?
77
Is now a bad time to talk?
Is now a bad time to talk?
78
What about this doesn’t work for you?
What about this doesn’t work for you?
79
What would you need to make this work?
What would you need to make this work?
80
It seems there’s something bothering you
It seems there’s something bothering you
81
Might sometimes need to force counterpart into a no
Intentionally mislabel an emotion
82
Anchor 1
I’m a little embarrassed to bring this up to you
83
Anchor 2
I’m a little embarrassed to tell you what I was looking to pay for the car
84
Anchor 3
The price I was hoping to pay is ridiculous
85
Anchor 4
I’m telling you it’s insulting
86
Tactical Empathy
It is easy to see why you are part of the team when you work this hard
87
Tactical Empathy 2
I know it seems I have been difficult to work with
88
I statements
I feel X when you X because X
89
Mirror Process
Mirror and silence for at least 4 seconds
90
Calibrated Question
What's the best you can do?
91
NO Question
Do you hate making money?
92
Rule of Three
Get them to say yes 3 times to screen if the yes is legitimate
93
Rule of Three 2
Calibrated How or What questions about implementation. Ask what will constitute success: What do we do if we get off track?
94
Rule of Three 3
I heard you say ‘Yes’ but it seemed like there was a hesitation in your voice
95
Summary to trigger That’s Right
Effective Pauses, Minimal Encouragers, Mirroring, Labeling, Paraphrase, Summarize.
96
That's Right Summary Example
So, it sounds like you could approve my new position, as long as you had someone who was capable of taking over my position. Plus if I performed well, it would reflect well on you and the branch
97
That's Right Summary Example 2
So it sounds like if I helped train my replacement and help you with networking at the corporate office you would approve my promotion.
98
3 types of Yes - 1
Counterfeit :Yes as an escape route (want to say No)
99
3 types of Yes - 2
Confirmation: Reflexive response question. Affirmation with no promise of action
100
3 types of Yes - 3
Commitment: True agreement that leads to action
101
People want to be understood and accepted
People want to be understood and accepted
102
2 primal urges - 1
Need to feel safe & secure
103
2 primal urges - 2
Need to feel in control
104
Loss Aversion 1
People will take more risks to avoid a loss than realize a gain
105
Loss Aversion 2
Make sure my opponent sees there is something to lose by inaction
106
Bend their Reality 1
Anchor their emotions
107
Bend their Reality 2
Let the other party suggest a price first.
108
Bend their Reality 3
Establish a bolstering range
109
Bend their Reality 4
Pivot to non-monetary terms
110
Bend their Reality 5
Use odd numbers
111
Spotting Liars 1
Use more words than truth tellers
112
Spotting Liars 2
Talk about him, her, it, one, they and their. Rarely I = distance from the lie
113
Spotting Liars 3
Speak in more complex sentences (to cover up the lie)
114
Every negotiation is new
don’t let old patterns blind me
115
Always ask myself
Why are they communicating what they are communicating right now?
116
Listen, listen, listen
Review everything I hear, record myself, take and review notes.
117
Because
People respond favorably to requests made in a reasonable tone of voice and followed by a because reason (even if the reason isn’t great).
118
Start with No
Need to feel in control, get by saying No
119
Start with No 2
Saying Yes makes people defensive
120
Extreme Anchor 1
Before making offer, emotionally anchor by saying how bad it will be
121
Extreme Anchor 2
Set an extreme anchor to make my real number seem reasonable
122
Extreme Anchor 3
Use a range to seem less aggressive
