Never Split the Difference Flashcards
In a Negotiation, which takes precedence, Emotion or Cognition?
Emotion. Although cognition is essential, it is highly influenced by the negotiator’s emotional state.
What is the Black Swan definition of Active Listening?
The use of your full attention to analyse your opponent’s conduct and engage with them in real time.
This is made easier by a slower pace.
What are your Three Modes of Speech?
- Calm: Marked by a deep, steady, reasonable voice.
- Warm: Marked by a happy, friendly, empathetic voice.
- Strong: Marked by a clear, powerful, assertive voice.
Which Non-Verbal Modalities are Important to Note and Use in a Negotiation?
- Attire.
- Eye contact.
- Body language.
- Paralinguistics.
- Facial expressions.
- Physiological reflexes.
Which Modalities does Paralinguistics include?
- Pitch.
- Tone.
- Accent.
- Tempo.
- Silence.
- Volume.
- Rhythm.
- Intonation.
- Articulation.
- Vocalisation.
What is the Black Swan definition of Mirroring?
- The repetition of the last three words, or most important words, in a given phrase;
- WIth a similar delivery to the opponent.
For a Mirror to do its work, you have to let it. Once delivered, step back, stay silent, and listen up.
How can you Confront without Confrontation?
- Use the Calm Mode.
- Say, “I’m sorry.”
- Mirror inquisitively and respectfully, inviting elaboration.
- Wait silently.
What is Black Swan definition of Empathy?
The ability to
* Understand an opponent’s emotional state; in order to
* Uncover their proximal and distal motivations; and
* Inform tactical and strategic decision-making.
What is the Black Swan definition of Labelling?
The recognition and verbalisation of the opponent’s emotions using the Calm Mode.
This validates them and makes their worries seem less worrisome.
Labels are especially effective at diffusing negative emotions so long as they are delivered directly, sincerely, compassionately, and without judgement.
How should a Label be delivered?
Either as a statement or a question, but always in the Calm mode and beginning with a clause like:
* It looks like.
* It seems like.
* It feels as if.
* It sounds as if.
This makes makes the Label less confrontational.
Just like with a Mirror, if you want a Label to work, sit back silently after delivering it.
What is an Accusation Audit?
A series of Labels meant to diffuse negative preconceptions your opponent may hold toward you and disarm a confrontation.
What is the Value of ‘No’ in a Negotiation?
It gives your opponent a sense of control, so get them to say it as early as possible.
What may ‘No’ mean in a Negotiation?
- I cannot afford it.
- I am uncomfortable.
- I do not understand.
- I want something else.
- I need more information.
- I am not yet ready to agree.
- I need to talk to someone else.
After ‘No’, try to Label the obstacle or ask a solution-based question.
What are the Three Types of ‘Yes’ in a Negotiation?
- Counterfeit.
- Confirmatory.
- Committal.
What is the Black Swan definition of a Paraphrase?
A unique, concise, accurate rephrasing of the opponent’s perspective, used to show empathy.
What is the Black Swan definition of a Summary?
A series of Labelling Paraphrases that identify, rearticulate, and validate the opponent’s emotional obstacles.
What are the Three Uses of the word ‘Fair’?
-
Defensive: Something to the effect of, “I just want what is fair.”
- Proper Response: Pause, affirm, explore.
-
Offensive: Something to the effect of, “I have given you a fair offer.”
- Proper Response: Mirror, pause, Label.
- Constructive: Something to the effect of, “It is important to me that you to feel fairly treated, so please stop me if ever you feel otherwise.”
‘Fair’ is the most powerful word in a neogiation, use it carefully.
What is the Black Swan definition of an Anchor?
The first offer, used to frame the specturm of agreement.
Always Anchor with a range, and use odd numbers that do not end in zero.
What is the Black Swan definition of an Calibrated Question?
- An open-ended question that acknowledges the opponent without confrontation.
- It is used to neutralise aggression and subtly reframe the negotiation.
Use these early and often.
The Calibrated Question compels them to consider an issue from your perspective while feigning deferrence. They will work to solve your problem for you.
For instance:
* The statement, “You cannot leave,” can be rephrased as, “What do you hope to achieve from leaving?”
What is the Ultimate Calibrated Question?
“How am I supposed to do that?”
How should a Calibrated Question be delivered?
- Using the Calm Mode.
- With ‘What’ or ‘How’ at the start.
- Without decisive language like ‘is’ or ‘should.
How should you Decline in a Negotiation?
- The First Time: “How am I supposed to do that?”
- The Second Time: “That is very generous. I am sorry, that just does not work for me.”
- The Third Time: “I am sorry, but I am afraid I cannot do that.”
- The Fourth Time: “I am sorry, but no.”
- The Fifth Time: “No.”
Deference falls and decisiveness rises with every time.
What is the Ackerman Bargaining system for Buyers?
- First Offer: 65%.
- Second Offer: 85%.
- Third Offer: 95%
- Fourth Offer: 100% with a non-monetary item.
These are percentages of your goal price.
Use an Accusation Audit before making the First Offer.
What is Ackerman Bagaining for Sellers?
- First Offer: 135%.
- Second Offer: 115%.
- Third Offer: 105%.
- Fourth Offer: 100% with a non-monetary item.
Use an Accusation Audit before making the First Offer.
