Natalie Ackerman

Question 1

Death: jeez. I nearly broke my neck.

Answer 1

Nat: who are you?

Question 2

Death: death.

Answer 2

Nat: who?

Question 3

Death: death. Listen- can I sit down? I nearly broke my neck. I’m shaking like a leaf.

Answer 3

Nat: what ARE you?

Question 4

Death: death. You got a glass of water?

Answer 4

Nat: death? What do you mean death?

Question 5

Death: what is wrong with you? You see the black costume and the whitened face?

Answer 5

Nat: yeah.

Question 6

Death: is it halloween?

Answer 6

Nat: no.

Question 7

Death: then I’m death. Now can I get a glass of water- or a Fresca?

Answer 7

Nat: if this is some joke-

Question 8

Death: what kind of joke? You’re 57? Nat Ackerman? 118 pacific street? Unless I blew it- where’s that call sheet?

Answer 8

Nat: what do you want with me?

Question 9

Death: what do I want? What do you think I want?

Answer 9

Nat: you must be kidding, I’m in perfect health.

Question 10

Death: uh-huh. This is a nice place. You do it yourself?

Answer 10

Nat: we had a decorator, but we worked with her.

Question 11

Death: I love those kids with the big eyes.

Answer 11

Nat: I don’t wanna go yet.

Question 12

Death: YOU don’t want to go? Please start in. As it is, I’m nauseous from the climb.

Answer 12

Nat: what climb?

Question 13

Death: I climbed up the drainpipe. I was trying to make a dramatic entrance. I see the big windows and you’re awake reading. I figure it’s worth a shot. I’ll climb up and enter with a little you know- meanwhile, I get my heel caught on some vines, the drainpipe breaks, and I’m hanging by a thread. Then my cape begins to tear. Look, let’s just go. It’s been a rough night.

Answer 13

Nat: you broke my drainpipe?

Question 14

Death: broke. It didn’t break. It’s a little bent. Didn’t you hear anything? I slammed into the ground.

Answer 14

Nat: I was reading.

Question 15

Death: you must have been really engrossed. “Nab coeds in pot” can I borrow this?

Answer 15

Nat: why didn’t you just ring downstairs?

Question 16

Death: I’m telling you, I could have, but how does it look? This way I get a little drama going. Something. Did you read faust?

Answer 16

Nat: what?

Question 17

Death: and what if you had company? You’re sitting there with important people. I’m death- I should ring the bell and traipse right in the front? Where’s your thinking?

Answer 17

Nat: listen, mister, it’s very late.

Question 18

Death: yeah. Well you want to go?

Answer 18

Nat: go where?

Question 19

Death: death. It. The thing. The happy hunting grounds. Yknow, That’s a pretty bad cut. My first job, I’m liable to get gangrene yet.

Answer 19

Nat: now, wait a minute. I need time. I’m not ready to go.

Question 20

Death: I’m sorry. I can’t help you. I’d like to, but it’s the moment.

Answer 20

Nat: how can it be the moment? My business just merged with GameStop.

Question 21

Death: what’s the difference? A couple of bucks or less.

Answer 21

May: sure, what do you care? You guys probably have all your expenses paid.

Question 22

Death: you want to come along now?

Answer 22

Nat: I’m sorry, but I can not believe you’re death.

Question 23

Death: why? What’d you expect- Jennifer anistin?

Answer 23

Nat: no it’s not that.

Question 24

Death: I’m sorry if I disappointed you.

Answer 24

Nat: don’t get upset. I don’t know, I always though you’d be… Uh taller?

Question 25

Death: I’m 5’7. It’s average for my weight.

Answer 25

Nat: you look a little like me.

Question 26

Death: who should I look like? I’m your death.

Answer 26

Nat: give me more time. Another day.

Question 27

Death: I can’t. What do you want me to say?

Answer 27

Nat: one more day. 24 hours.

Question 28

Death: what do you need it for? The radio said rain tomorrow.

Answer 28

Nat: can’t we work something out?

Question 29

Death: like what?

Answer 29

Nat: you play chess?

Question 30

Death: no, I don’t.

Answer 30

Nat: I saw a picture of you playing chess once.

Question 31

Death: couldn’t be me, because I don’t play chess. Gin rummy, maybe.

Answer 31

Nat: you play gin rummy?

Question 32

Death: do I play gin rummy? Is Paris a city?

Answer 32

Nat: you’re good huh?

Question 33

Death: very good.

Answer 33

Nat: I’ll tell you what I’ll do-

Question 34

Death: don’t make any deals with me

Answer 34

Nat: I’ll play you in gin rummy . If you win, I’ll go immediately. If I win, give me some more time. A little bit- one more day.

Question 35

Death: who’s got time for gin rummy?

Answer 35

Nat: come on. If you’re so good.

Question 36

Death: although I feel like a game…

Answer 36

Nat: come on. Be a sport. We’ll shoot for half a hour.

Question 37

Death: I really shouldn’t.

Answer 37

Nat: I got the cards right here. Don’t make a production.

Question 38

Death: alright, come on. We’ll play a little. It’ll relax me.

Answer 38

Nat: you won’t regret this.

Question 39

Death: don’t give me sales talk. Get the cards and give me a Fresca and put out something for sake, estranged drops in, you don’t have potato chips or pretzels

Answer 39

Nat: there’s M&Ms downstairs in a dish.

Question 40

Death: M&Ms. What if the president came? He’d get M&Ms too?

Answer 40

Nat: you’re not the president.

Question 41

Death: deal.

Answer 41

Nat: you want to play a tenth of a cent a point to make it interesting?

Question 42

Death: it’s not interesting enough for you?

Answer 42

Nat: I play better when money’s at stake.

Question 43

Death: whatever you say, newt.

Answer 43

Nat: Natalie. Natalie Ackerman. You don’t know my name?

Question 44

Nat. Natalie. - I got such a headache.

Answer 44

Nat: you want that 5?

Question 45

(There’s a noise)

Answer 45

Nat: what the hell is that?