MLC 2

Question 1

What is marriageability?

Answer 1

Whether a person is marriageable or not
Possessing emotional health
Having the characteristics to engage another in an intimate relationship
Can they relate to anyone at all?
Issue of state or trait
Godwin in “unsafe people:
(Reasonable; help them out if their traps)
(Moderately unsafe/disordered: limit their influence)
(Significantly unsafe/disordered: pursue necessary self protection)

Question 2

What is comparability?

Answer 2

Seemed marriageable- could be in a significant intimate relationship with someone else
Issues: degree & types of differences
Ease of adjusting differences
State or trait
Godwin’s “reasonableness and relatively safe people

Question 3

Individuality

Answer 3

The influence and makeup of individuality

1. FOO
2. family constellation
3. Self or general well-being
4. Psychological factors
5. Gender factors
6. Life experiences (other than FOO)

Question 4

Family of origin

Answer 4

Modeling vs. crucible

Residuals and Baggage “sensitivities”

Beliefs, values, expectations, and rules of “right and wrong”

Question 5

Individuality

Answer 5

Family constellation (first child, middle child, baby)

Question 6

Individuality

Answer 6

Epigentic development issues
(Ego identity and sense of self)
Systemic similarities: Minuchin and Bowen
Personality extremes

Question 7

Psychological factors

Answer 7

Temperamental type

Diagnoses

Question 8

Influence and makeup of individuality

Answer 8

Gender factors 
Stereotypes (gender typical statements)
Proliferation of “differences”
Are men and women really that different?
Nurture vs. nature
Gender roles 
(Who decides what for whom)
(Harvey: “If you can effectively define a role, you can also effectively exercise control”)
(Clients: 1. “It’s a spiritual issue”; 2. Guilt and shame)

Question 9

Life experiences (other than FOO)

Answer 9

Culture 
Environmental
Educational
Trauma
Others

Question 10

Emotional Tone— what is it?

Answer 10

“Want to” in marriage

1. Significance of emotional tone
2. Assessing intimacy (PAIR)
3. The couple interview

Question 11

Emotional tone significance

Answer 11

Significance:

1. How love does
2. The importance of emotional tone
3. Process of deterioration

Barometer of emotional status
What contributed to marital disaffection?
The relationship to resistance in the couple
DeShazer: explicit and implicit levels

Question 12

DeShazer on Emotional Tone

4 questions

Answer 12

1. On a scale of 1 (very little) to 10 (a lot), how much do you want this marriage?
2. What is keeping you two together?
3. What do you (husband/wife) think your (wife/husband) thinks your greatest value is to him/her?
4. How satisfied are you with the frequency/ quality of your sex life?

Question 13

The process of deterioration

Answer 13

(Kayser) marital disaffection phases: 
1. Disappointment
2. Between disappointment and disaffection
3. Reaching disaffection
(Harvey) cycle of hopelessness:
1. Unacceptable behavior
2. A pattern of behavior
3. Progressives deterioration 
Real danger with hopelessness and disaffection:
1. The spouse “gives up”
2. 4 stages of hopelessness