midterm 1 Flashcards

1
Q

mottos

A
  1. it’s okay to break up with nice decent people
  2. just because you love someone forever does not mean that you will like them every day
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2
Q

gospel framework on marriage

A
  1. GOAL: knowledge of our destination
  2. ATTITUDE: criteria to judge our circumstances
  3. ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE: perspective through the process
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3
Q

covenant marriage

A
  • covenant between individuals and God, blessings unattainable in worldly marriages
  • 100% from both partners (not 50%)
  • more than just mutual benefit (family, eternal blessings)
  • it’s not really about you .. at all
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4
Q

elder bednar quote abt ultimate happiness

A

“…received through the making and honoring of eternal marriage covenants.”

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5
Q

marriage as a social institution

A

something that makes life organized and helps distribute resources - but marriage is slowly losing its institution state (deinstitutionalization)

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6
Q

major culture changes that influence marriage

A
  1. cohabitation
  2. individualism
  3. romanticism
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7
Q

romanticism

A
  • unrealistic expectations
  • soulmate belief
  • companionate marriage
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8
Q

individualism

A
  • individualized marriage: maximizing personal rewards and minimizing personal sacrifices
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9
Q

doctrine vs. council

A

doctrine: formalized beliefs issued from the church, official church position
council: guiding teachings and suggestions from inspired general leaders intended for the whole world

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10
Q

stages of gospel dating

A
  1. group dating (16+)
  2. paired-off dating (young adulthood)
  3. long-term/marital dating (after paired off to find marital partner)
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11
Q

gospel aspects of dating

A
  1. partner selection
  2. appropriate behavior
  3. centrality of marriage
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12
Q

marital virtues

A
  1. friendship
  2. loyalty
  3. genorosity
  4. fairness
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13
Q

two types of commitment

A
  1. constraint commitment (have to)
  2. personal dedication (want to)
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14
Q

three types of constraint commitment

A
  1. perceived constraint - social pressure
  2. material constraint - stuff
  3. felt constraint - feeling trapped
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15
Q

how does religion influence commitment

A
  • internal testimony (buffered dissatisfaction)
  • religious behaviors (decreased alternative seeking
  • CLEAVING
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16
Q

stewardships in equal partnerships

A

equal partnership doesn’t mean that everything is equally divided, but that the stewardships are well communicated and delegated

17
Q

gender idealogies

A
  1. irrelevant gender - no differences between genders
  2. independence - men and women should be completely independent of each other
  3. separateness - men and women are basically two different species
18
Q

four constructs of true partnership

A
  1. discipleship - learning from each other
  2. divine institution - understanding stewardships & family roles
  3. covenant - commitment
  4. cleaving - sticking together
19
Q

two myths to avoid

A
  1. tradition myth : marriage = hierarchy
  2. liberal myth : marital equality = sameness
20
Q

issues lds couples face with sexual intimacy

A
  • from worst to best
  • only focusing on the “don’t”s of chastity instead of the “do”s
21
Q

sexual wholeness model

A

physical, emotional, and spiritual

22
Q

family of origin - tree metaphor

A
  • families are the soil
  • roots are intentional, why decide what we want to absorb from our families
23
Q

how do family experiences indirectly influence marital outcomes

A

experiences —> marital attitudes —> relational behavior —> outcomes

24
Q

types of family effects

A
  1. indirect effects: the observations we make that are internalized (much more common)
  2. direct effects: direct conversations about marriage/relationships with our families (much more powerful)
25
Q

intergenerational transmission

A

acquiring attitudes and values from parents or other family members to be transmitted to the next generation

26
Q

demographic risk factors (ex. divorce)

A
  1. we all have them
  2. think traffic signs - warning you for what’s coming
  3. never deal breakers
27
Q

attachment

A

ability and anxiety surrounding getting close to others

28
Q

two types of attachment

A
  1. anxiousness - desire for closeness and worry that a partner won’t fulfill needs
  2. avoidant - discomfort w closeness and dependence on others
29
Q

attachment & marital outcomes

A

insecure: increased likelihood of singleness and divorce
secure: increased satisfaction, stability, better communication & processes

30
Q

self-worth

A

perception of your own value to yourself, others, & society
- aka self-esteem, body image, life satisfaction, perceived competence, identity
- negative self talk
- comparison stress

31
Q

romantic perfectionism

A

rigid and unrealistic expectations for yourself in relationships

32
Q

two types of readiness

A

objective: the same for everyone (regardless of partner/relationship)
subjective: different for everyone (personal feelings, influence by partner)

33
Q

addiction

A

the compulsive need to do something

34
Q

three aspects of relationship formation

A
  1. initial attraction
  2. mutual evaluation
  3. beginning commitment
35
Q

good flirting

A
  • validation !!!
  • can be anything, what matters is context
  • non-verbal flirting is most powerful
36
Q

bad flirting

A
  • slimy approach: physical focus
  • bad hygiene: look & smell
  • lack of focused interest: too many people
37
Q

three aspects of relationship growth

A
  1. deepening commitment
  2. establishment of interpersonal processes
  3. evaluations of partner and relationship
38
Q

four areas of relationship progression (dials)

A
  • knowing
  • trust
  • commitment
  • touch
39
Q

obstacles to relationship progression

A
  • asymmetrical commitment
  • sliding
  • self-ejection