Mid Term Study Flashcards
The attitudes, values, beliefs, and experiences a participant brings to a communication event are called
fields of experience
T/F Communication scholars have only recently begun to explore the challenges and promise of human communication.
False
Which is a characteristic of interpersonal communication?
It impacts participants’ relationships
Small group communication involves all of the following EXCEPT
communication between two people
Who was the first to teach about the value of a speaker’s credibility?
Aristotle
Which is a type of communication?
a. Small group
b. Public
c. All options are correct
d. Interpersonal
All options are correct
What variables does the interactive communication model add to the linear communication model?
feedback and fields of experience
T/F One guideline to remember when considering the ethics element of communication competence is to avoid intentionally hurting others with your communication.
True
In the linear and interactive models, the individual who generates information to be communicated is the
sender
T/F Competent communication suggests that one is able to apply his or her knowledge
to repeatable goal-directed behaviors.
True
Forming attributions is the process of
assigning meaning and understanding to others’ behavior.
T/F In individualistic cultures, your self and your needs take precedence over the needs and interests of the group or collective.
True
T/F Algebraic impressions are quick first impressions about the people you meet.
False
A useful method for testing your impressions in order to avoid errors in judgment is
perception-checking
Which of these asserts that you are more likely to choose friends who provide support for your self-concept?
Self-Verification Theory
If you overindulge at a buffet and the next day explain that your friends pressured you to eat more and more, you are exhibiting which perceptual error?
Actor-observer effect
T/F Your self-fulfilling prophecies can result in both positive and negative predictions about your future behavior.
True
The tendency to assign external causes for your own individual behavior is called the
actor-observer effect
Which of the following is NOT considered to be an influence on the self?
Face
Losing face can cause shame, humiliation, and sadness—all components of (the)
embarrassment
While listening to a grieving friend, it is wise to avoid
engaging in pseudo-listening
T/F Men are more likely to use content-oriented listening.
False
Janis listens to country music on her iTunes playlist purely for pleasure. Which function of listening is she illustrating?
Listening to appreciate
If Simon Cowell, a judge on America’s Got Talent, listens specifically to a contestant’s vocal quality, what listening function is he demonstrating?
Listening to appreciate
Which type of listener prefers to be intellectually challenged and seeks to evaluate messages?
Content-oriented listener
What defines which words represent which objects?
Constitutive rules
What governs how language is used?
Regulative rules
Which strategy can be used to achieve cooperative verbal communication?
Use more “we” language.
T/F Research suggests that people prefer those who use a dialect similar to their own.
True
T/F Regulative rules define words’ meanings.
True
Which aspect of Grice’s cooperative principle focuses on using truthful information?
Be honest
T/F Prejudiced language is a form of stereotyping.
False
T/F Constitutive rules guide spelling, grammar, and conversational structure.
False
T/F Research suggests that during verbal communication, men and women respond in a similar manner 99 percent of the time.
False
According to the cooperative principle, being relevant means speakers need to
use information applicable to the situation
T/F Nonverbal communication tends to be more trusted than verbal communication.
True
T/F Speech rate and volume are elements of vocalics.
True
When Kim’s boyfriend tells her that he loves her while staring aimlessly at the TV instead of at her, she is more likely to
believe his nonverbal communication
T/F Nonverbal communication can be intentional or unintentional
True
Guidelines that govern the appropriate use and expression of emotion are called
display rules
To increase your ability to interpret and understand nonverbal communication, you should
a. consider the context.
b. consider the other person’s culture.
c. practice perception-checking.
d. All of the options are correct.
All of the options are correct.
T/F Research suggests that women are more territorial than men.
False
T/F Nonverbal communication can be ambiguous because it is governed by rules that vary across cultures.
True
When you practice nonverbal inhibition, you
limit or control your nonverbal behavior
Dominance can be demonstrated by all of the following EXCEPT
avoiding eye contact
The feeling of emotional bonding or union between ourselves and others is
intimacy
T/F Research suggests that facial cues are the most important form of communication for forming impressions.
True
T/F If Raul’s girlfriend reports she is not scared, yet she grips his hand tightly and her eyes are glued wide open, he will believe her actions more than her words.
True
Verbal and nonverbal behaviors that have contradictory meanings are called
incongruent messages
T/F One can communicate dominance or submissiveness nonverbally.
True
Jorge’s parents have been married 25 years and call each other best friends. What type of love do they have?
Affection
In The Descendants, Matt King’s relationship with Joanie can be characterized as
changing from passionate to compassionate love
If Aiden and James, who have been dating for four years, decide to get married, what relational stage have they reached?
Bonding
What is occurring when someone you’re interested in makes it clear that he or she is also interested in you?
Reciprocal liking
What assesses relational attraction by weighing costs and benefits?
Social exchange theory
In what stage of coming apart does communication virtually cease?
Terminating
Regina and Juan have been dating for six months. They have shared much personal information with each other and have started using pet names to refer to one another. Which stage are they in at this point
Intensifying
Which of the following statements is correct?
A. I-Thou emphasizes differences with others.
B. I-It emphasizes communication that is honest and kind.
C. I-It regards other people as important sources of meaningful relationships.
D. I-Thou emphasizes similarities with others
I-Thou emphasizes similarities with others
What is the initial stage of coming apart, in which relational partners accentuate their differences?
Differentiating
Which statement is TRUE about companionate love?
Companionate love is an intense form of liking with emotional investment.
Which of these uses an onion as a metaphor to explain self-disclosure in personal relationships?
Social penetration theory
Which statement about self-disclosure is TRUE?
a. It occurs more online than face-to-face.
b. All of the options are correct.
c. Studies suggest that men are more likely to self-disclose to women.
d. It reduces stress and results in greater mental health.
All of the options are correct
Competing tensions or impulses experienced with a relational partner are known as
relational dialectics
T/F When engaging in supportive communication, you should avoid asking open-ended questions.
True
T/F People tend to self-disclose more in face-to-face interactions than in online interactions.
True
T/F A spouse who says “I have never really loved you” is revealing a dirty secret.
True
Which conflict conclusion occurs when one person gets his or her way by causing others to accommodate?
Domination
In which approach to conflict do people confront others and pursue their own goals while excluding others?
Competition
T/F Someone who suddenly declares that your relationship is over during a conflict is delivering a sudden-death statement.
True
Which statement describes the relationship between power and conflict?
People with power can choose to use or not use accommodation
Kitchen sinking is
dredging up past, unrelated problems
While attending a movie, you are disturbed by a child behind you who talks incessantly while repeatedly kicking the back of your seat. You respond by occasionally turning around and fidgeting in your seat. What type of conflict-management style are you exhibiting?
Avoidance
Which would you NOT recommend to an individualist trying to manage a conflict with a collectivist?
Manage conflicts when they arise
Which statement regarding the relationships between culture and conflict
is accurate?
Individualists and collectivists approach conflict differently
If Kevin and CJ deal with conflict by aggressively challenging one another, what style
of conflict management are they using?
Competition
Which of the following is not one of the five features that define communication?
Ethics
If you convince your sister to lend you her car by describing your clean driving record and devotion to speed limits, you are accomplishing what type of goal?
Self-presentation
According to this communication model, there aren’t senders or receivers; instead, participants constantly exchange verbal and nonverbal messages and feedback to collaboratively create meaning.
Transactional model
Which feature of competent communication requires you to treat other with respect and communicate with them honestly, kindly, and positively
Ethics
Repeatable goal-directed behaviors and behavioral patterns that you routinely practice and that reflect knowledge of competent communication are known as
Communication Skills
According to Self-Discrepancy Theory. you are more likely to experience high self esteem if
your self-concept matches your ideal and ought selves.
What is the difference between your face and a mask?
mask covers the private aspects of yourself
The overwhelming tendency of people to attribute others behaviors to internal rather than external forces is known as ___________________________.
fundamental attribution error
Which of the following impressions form over time?
Algebraic
Which of the following is not one of the fives steps of perception-checking?
Compare your impression with a neutral source
If you want to have an important conversation with a family member, you should first try to engage in a real-time conversation, or _____.
synchronous communication
When evaluating someone’s online face, which of the following do you consider as part of the content’s warranting value?
// If it is supported by others;
// if it can be verified by alternative sources;
// and if it is obviously crafted by the person posting it.
// all the above
all the above
Which of the following is a main cause of empathy deficits?
Lack of nonverbal feedback
_____________ occurs when people say or do negative things online that they would never do in person.
Flaming
Which of the following is not one of the chapter’s suggestions for competently using mediated communication?
Limiting mediated communication to a couple of messages per day
According to co-culture communication theory, the people with the most ________________ within a society determines the dominant culture.
power
When people communicate in rude or inappropriate ways, you’re more inclined to form negative impressions of them if you see them as _____________.
outgroupers
In ________________ cultures, people tend not to presume that others share their beliefs, attitudes, and values; thus, they strive to be informative, clear, and direct in their communication.
low-content
In high-uncertainty-avoidance cultures, what do people place a lot of value on?
Control
According to the chapter, which of the following is not a way to create intercultural competence?
Employing benevolent prejudice
You and your sister using the phase “blue moon” to signal to each other when your mom is in a bad mood is an example of ___________________.
connotative meanings
Which of the following is not one of the four characteristics of understandable language, according to the cooperative principles?
// Honest
// Symbolic
// Clear
// Informative
Symbolic
Phrases that both emphasize inclusions and enhance feelings of connection and similarity are known as _____________.
“we” language
According to researcher Dominic Infante. how can you competently communicate with verbally aggressive people?
// Avoid teasing, baiting, or insulting others;
// Minimize contact with people who are chronically verbally aggressive;
// Remain polite and respectful, and don’t retaliate with your own attacks.
// All of them are correct
All of them are correct
According to Table 5.3, types of Deception, which of the following refers to revealing only part of the truth while leaving out important information?
Concealment
communication
the process through which people create messages, using a variety of modalities and sensory channels to convey meanings within and across contexts
Messages
convey meaning (ideas and feelings shared)
Interactions
a series of exchanged messages
Modalities
a Face-to-face interaction, social media
channels
Sound, sight, touch
contexts
Class, parties, work, home
Self-presentation goals
Deliberately presenting yourself in certain ways
Instrumental goals
Achieving practical objectives/accomplishing tasks
Relationship goals
Building, maintaining, or terminating bonds
Historical evolution of scholarly thought Examples include:
// Linear communication model
// Interactive communication model
// Transactional communication model
Linear communication model
describes communication as a linear, one-way process in which a sender intentionally transmits a message to a receiver
Interactive communication model
process in which participants alternate positions as sender and receiver and generate meaning by sending messages and receiving feedback within physical and psychological contexts
Transactional communication model
a process in which communicators generate social realities within social, relational, and cultural contexts.
Communication in Antiquity Ptahhotep’s book for improving communication (2200 B.C.E.)
// Rhetoric formally studied in Greece and Rome
// Theory and practice of persuasion through speech
// Socrates and Plato debated nature of rhetoric
Aristotle’s requirements for persuasion:
// Demonstrate credibility
// Provide logical reasons
// Appeal to emotions
Cicero’s objectives of public speaking:
Instruct, persuade, honor
noise
interference with the message
receiver
person who decodes the message and attaches meaning to it
group communication
process of creating meaning among 3-15 people who share a common goal
impersonal communication
process of communicating that responds to people’s roles rather than who they are individually
feedback
response to a message
source
originator of a thought who puts it into a code
presentational communication
communication that occurs when a speaker addresses a large audience in person
nonverbal communication
unspoken communication
encoding
process of translating ideas into a code
channel
pathway through which messages are sent
interpersonal communication
process of interacting with another person and mutually influencing one another
context
encompasses the physical, historical and psychological environment
intrapersonal communication
communication that occurs within yourself
meditated communication
communication using some channel other than face to face
Elements of Communication
Sender/Receiver (both sending and receiving at the same time)
Setting
(environment where communication occurs)
Symbol
Something that stands for something else
Types of Symbols
Verbal and Non-Verbal
Concrete Symbols
Symbol that represents an object
Three Forms of Noise
// External (comes from the environment)
// Internal (occurs in the minds of sender/receiver)
// Semantic (emotional reaction towards words)
Synchronous Communication
Talk that occurs at the same time with no time delay (ex:talking one on one)
Asynchronous Communication
Does not occur at the same time (ex: e-mail messages)
Transactional Communication Three Principles:
// Participation is continuous and simultaneous
// All communications have a past, present, and future
// All communicators play roles
Roles
Parts you play or ways you behave with others
Types of Communication
// Intrapersonal (within)
// Interpersonal (one on one)
// Small Group (small number of people)
// Public (audience)
// Mass (message over TV, radio, etc.)
Computer-Mediated Communication
(CMC) technologies that facilitate both human communication and interactive sharing of information through computer networks
Intercultural Communication
Communication that occurs when two or more people from different cultures interact
Competent Communication
Ability to communicate in a personally effective and socially appropriate manner
Strategic Flexibility
(SF) expanding your communication repertoire to enable you to use the best skill or behavior available for a particular situation
The Six Steps of Strategic Flexibility
// Anticipate
// Assess
// Evaluate
// Select
// Apply
// Reassess - Reevaluate
Creativity
The capacity to synthesize vast amounts of information and wrestle with complex problems
Ethical Communication
Communication that is honest, fair, and considerate of others
Active Open-Mindedness
a tool designed to help readers digest, master, and use knowledge
Communication
// The process of using messages to generate meaning.
// Message The verbal or nonverbal form of the idea, thought, or feeling that one person (the source) wishes to communicate to another person or a group of people (the receivers).
Communication contexts
A set of circumstances or a situation.
Dyadic communication
3 or more people having a generally intimate and unstable conversation with a great deal of feedback.
Small-group communication
3+ persons who share common identity, Common goals or purposes
Public communication
The highly stable process of using generally formal messages to generate meanings in a situation in which a single speaker transmits a message to a number of receivers
Mass communication
The highly stable process of using generally formal and scripted messages to generate meanings in a mediated system, between a source and a large number of unseen receivers (invisible listeners)
Digitally mediated communication
The unstable to highly stable process of using totally scripted messages to generate meanings in an intimate or formal situation in which 1 or more speakers transits a message to a wide range of people (2-billions)
Self
shapes how you communicate An evolving blend of three components
Self-awareness
Self-concept
Self-esteem
Self-awareness
Ability to view yourself as unique person
Social comparison
Examining others’ behaviors for comparison
Critical self-reflection
Evaluating and improving communication
Self-concept
Overall assessment of who you are Based on beliefs, attitudes, and values
Self-Verification Theory
Choosing relational partners based on selfconcept
Self-fulfilling prophecies
Predictions about interactions that modify behavior. May cause predictions to come true
Self-esteem
Overall value you assign to yourself
Self-Discrepancy Theory
Self-esteem determined by comparison to ideal, ought self
// Ideal self: all the qualities you want to possess
// Ought self: the person you think others want you to be
Gender
Composite of social, psychological, behavioral traits
Distinct from an individual’s biological sex
Sexual Orientation
Enduring attraction to others
Exists along a continuum
Culture
Beliefs, attitudes, values, practices Shared by large group of people
Individualistic cultures
Individual goals > group goals
Collectivistic cultures
Group goals, loyalty > individual goals
Private self
Combination of self-awareness, self-concept, self-esteem
Public self
Self you present to others
Face
Positive self you want others to believe
Mask
Outward presentation to cover private aspects of self
Losing face
Doing something that contradicts one’s face or mask
// Being perceived as phony
// Others feeling betrayed by your actions
// Can cause embarrassment
// Shame, humiliation, and sadness
Perception
Three-step process:
// Selection of information to focus attention on
// Organization of information into understandable pattern
// Interpretation of meaning of patterns
Attribution: explanations for why things are happening
External factors
// Things outside the person that caused behavior
Internal factors
// Personality, character, emotions that caused behavior
Fundamental attribution error
Attributing others’ behaviors to internal factors
Actor-observer effect
Attributing one’s own behaviors to external causes
Self-serving bias
Attributing one’s own successes to internal factors
Impression
Mental images of people
// Who they are
// How you feel about them
Gestalt: general impression of a person
Halo effect: positive Gestalt
Horn effect: negative Gestalt
Algebraic impressions
Analyzing positive and negative things about someone
Calculating and updating overall impression
Stereotyping
Categorizing people into a social group
Forming impressions based on social group
Perception-checking
Review knowledge of person
Assess attributions you’ve made
Question your impression
Share impression with individual
Check impression with person
Empathy
“Feeling into” another person’s thoughts and
Empathy mindset
Belief whether empathy is developed or controlled
Hearing
Physically processing sound
Understanding
Recognizing literal meaning of words
Interpreting
Identifying implications in person’s words
Evaluating
Comparing new information against past knowledge
Remembering
Calling messages back into conscious mind
Mnemonics: mental devices that aid memory
Responding
Communicating attention and comprehension to speaker
Positive feedback
Look directly at speaker
Smile, position body toward speaker
Lean forward
Negative feedback
// Avoid eye contact,
// Turn your body away
// Look bored, distracted
Listening functions
Different reasons we have for listening
Shape how you choose to listen
Five common listening functions:
// To comprehend
// To provide support
// To analyze
// To appreciate
// To discern
People who multitask:
Shift attention between many things simultaneously
Poor listeners
More likely to mishear messages
More likely to miss messages completely
Listening style
Habitual pattern of listening behaviors
Reflects attitudes, beliefs, predispositions about listening
People-oriented listeners
See listening as opportunity to establish bonds
Content-oriented listeners
Prefer to be intellectually challenged
Action-oriented listeners
// Like focused, organized information
// Want clear, to-the-point messages
Time-oriented listeners
Prefer brief encounters
Listening Styles
A - Focus on emotions - People Oriented
B - Imagine the situation - Content Oriented
C - Find the solution - Action Oriented
D - Listen for a while - Time Oriented
Research suggests:
Men slightly prefer action-, time-oriented styles
Women favor people-, content-oriented styles
Men tend toward task-oriented, hurried listening
Women perceive listening as relational
Culture and Listening Styles
Culture influences people’s listening styles
Perception of competency is relative
Adapt your listening style accordingly
Selective listening
Absorbing some pieces of information, dismissing rest
Pseudo-listening
Pretending to pay attention
Aggressive listening
Seeking only an opportunity to attack partner
Manage your feedback
// Positive
// Obvious
// Appropriate
// Immediate
Adapt your listening
// Situational demands
// Purpose of the encounter
// Needs and wants of the speakers
Recognize the value of silence
// A “sympathetic ear”
// A “shoulder to cry on”
Verbal communication
Use of language to interact with others
// Can be spoken or written
// Language is basis of verbal communication
// Understanding nature of language is important
Four defining features of language
- Language is symbolic
// Words are primary symbols
// Represent people, objects, events, ideas- Language is rule-governed
// Constitutive rules define words’ meanings
// Regulative rules control how you use language - Language conveys meaning
// Denotative meanings
// Literal meanings of your words
// Connotative meanings
// Meanings based on life experiences - Language and culture are intertwined
// Dialects
// Variations in language among large cultural group
// Influence perception of others as either ingroupers or
outgroupers
- Language is rule-governed
Create understandable messages
Apply Grice’s cooperative principle:
Be informative
Information is appropriate and important
Be honest
Single most important characteristic of competent communication
Be relevant
Do not dodge or abruptly change topics
Be clear
Use clear language
Avoid misunderstanding
Verbal Communication Skills: Use “I” and “We” Language
Avoid “You” language
Phrases that shift attention and blame
Use “I” language
Emphasizes ownership of feelings, beliefs
Use “We” language
Emphasizes inclusion, connection, similarity
Verbal Communication Skills: Avoid Gender-Based Presumptions
Similar language preferences for men and women:
Informative
Honest
Clear
Relevant
Verbal Communication Skills: Be Mindful of Cultural Differences
Match others’ speech rates
Don’t substantially change language, voice
Verbal Communication Challenges: Prejudiced Language
Means speaking contemptuously, disdainfully about a group
Sexist language
Homophobic language
Racist language
Ageist language
Classist language
Verbal Communication Challenges: Verbal Aggression
Language that attacks someone’s personal attributes
Intentionally harmful
Targets unique personal attributes
Verbal Communication Challenges: Deception
Deliberate use of language to mislead
Most common form is concealment
Leaving important and relevant information out of messages
Especially commonplace online
Verbal Communication Challenges: Defamation
Intentionally false communication that targets reputation
Written form: libel
Spoken form: slander
Can result in legal charges
Nonverbal Communication Uses Multiple Channels
Information conveyed through multiple channels:
Auditory
Pitch and tone
Visual
Facial expressions, gestures, postures, appearance
Tactile
Physical contact
Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication
Nonverbal communication
Unspoken physical and behavioral cues
Uses multiple channels
Conveys more meaning than verbal
Blends with verbal communication
Influenced by gender and culture
Nonverbal Communication Conveys More Meaning Than Verbal Communication
Incongruent messages
When verbal and nonverbal behaviors contradict
Nonverbal messages trusted more than verbal
Congruent messages
When verbal and nonverbal communication match
Perceived as direct, honest
Nonverbal Communication Blends with
Verbal Communication
Five ways:
Replace verbal expressions with nonverbal messages
Repeat verbal messages
Deliberately contradict verbal with nonverbal messages
Enhance meaning of verbal messages
Spotlight parts of verbal messages
Nonverbal Communication Is Influenced by Gender Stereotypes about gender and nonverbal communication:
Men: strong, aggressive
Women: submissive, meek
Nonverbal Communication Is Influenced by Gender Factual differences in nonverbal communication
Women better at communicating nonverbally
More accuracy interpreting others’ nonverbal expressions
Greater facial expressiveness
Gaze at others more
Men are more territorial
Nonverbal Communication Is Influenced by Culture
High-contact cultures
Prefer frequent touching, shared gaze
Close physical proximity, direct body orientation
Low-contact cultures
Prefer infrequent touching, little shared gaze
Larger physical distance, indirect body orientation
Types of Nonverbal Communication Body movement (kinesics)
Facial expressions
Eye contact
Gestures
Emblems, illustrators, regulators, adaptors
Body postures
Types of Nonverbal Communication Voice (vocalics)
Tone: resonance, breathiness of voice
Pitch: frequency range of voice
Loudness: volume of voice
Speech rate: how quickly you speak
Types of Nonverbal Communication Touch (haptics)
Functional-professional touch
Used to accomplish tasks
Social-polite touch
Social norms, expectations
Friendship-warmth touch
Expresses liking for another person
Types of Nonverbal Communication Love-intimacy touch
Conveys deep emotional feelings
Types of Nonverbal Communication Sexual-arousal touch
Intended to physically stimulate another person
Types of Nonverbal Communication Aggressive-hostile touch
Forms of physical violence
Types of Nonverbal Communication Personal space (proxemics)
Intimate space: 0 to 18 inches
Extremely close
Personal space: 18 inches to 4 feet
Encounters with friends */
Types of Nonverbal Communication
Social space: 4 feet to 12 feet
Workplace or with acquaintances, strangers
Public space: 12 feet +
Formal occasions
Space preferences vary widely across cultures
Types of Nonverbal Communication Appearance
Appearance
“Attractive” people viewed in good ways
People judge based on visible attributes
Hair, clothing, body type
Artifacts
Possessions that communicate identity to others
Environmental Features
Two types:
Fixed features
Relatively stable parts of environment Walls, ceilings, floors
Semi-fixed features
Impermanent, usually easy to change Furniture, lighting, color
Functions of Nonverbal Communication
Conveying meanings
Expressing emotion (affect displays)
Presenting self
Managing interactions
Defining relationships
Intimacy, power balance, dominance, submissiveness
Strengthening Your Nonverbal Communication Skills
Enhance your nonverbal expressiveness
Accurately convey feelings, attitudes through nonverbal
Inhibit your nonverbal behaviors
Controlling nonverbal behaviors
Check your nonverbal attributions
Interpret meaning, intent behind others’ nonverbal
What Is Interpersonal Communication?
Interpersonal communication
Messages exchanged between two people
Significantly impact thoughts, emotions, relationships
Dyadic: involves pairs of people
Tool for building, maintaining, ending relationships
Interpersonal Communication types?
Transactional
Dynamic
Relational
Impactful
Contrasts sharply with impersonal communication
Approaches to interpersonal communication:
I-Thou: others given attention and respect
I-It: others viewed as objects to use, exploit
Why Form Relationships?
Interpersonal relationships
Emotional, mental, physical involvements
Forged with others through communication
Relationships onion scture
factors influence relationship choices
Proximity: mere exposure effect
Resources: social exchange theory
Similarity: birds-of-a feather effect
Reciprocal liking
Physical attractiveness: beautiful-is-good effect
Romantic relationships
Rooted in perception
Liking: feeling of affection and respect
Loving: intense emotional connection
Passionate love: emotional and physical longing
Companionate: emotional investment, intertwined lives
Family relationships:
diverse
constantly in flux
Shared identity
Multiple roles
Emotional complexity
Friendships:
Voluntary interpersonal relationships
Characterized by intimacy and liking Based on:
Liking
Choice
Shared interests
Workplace relationships:
Affiliations with peers, supervisors, subordinates, mentors
Equality or inequality of partners
Varying degrees of intimacy
Varying degrees of choice
Relationship Stages Coming together
Initiating
Size up new person
Decide to get to know them
Experimenting
Exchanging demographic information
Intensifying
Share more personal information about yourselves
Integrating
Blend
Clearly joined as a couple
Use language expressing new identity
Bonding
Ultimate stage of coming together
Public ritual that announces commitmen
Relationship Stages Coming apart
Differentiating
Thoughts, communication dominated by differences
Circumscribing
Ignoring problematic differences, talking less
Stagnating
Severe circumscribing leads to no safe topics
Communication slows to a standstill
Avoiding
No longer can be around each other
Begin distancing yourself physically
Terminating
Ending of relationship
Final encounter that gives sense of closure
Self-disclosure
Revealing private information with others
Foundation for intimacy in a relationship
Must know what, why, when to disclose
Social penetration theory: “onion-skin structure”
Outermost layers: demographic characteristics
Intermediate layers: attitudes, opinions
Central layers: core characteristics
Intimacy
‒ Feelings of closeness between you and others
Self-disclosure research:
Self-disclosure promotes mental health, relieves stress
// People self-disclose more online
// Men share feelings, despite stereotype
// Cultures have varying self-disclosure patterns
Self-disclosure skills
Know your thoughts and feelings
// Know your audience
// Don’t make assumptions about gender
// Be sensitive to cultural differences
// Don’t force others to self-disclose
//Actively listen, express empathy
Relational dialectics
Tensions in feelings toward relational partners
Three common dialectics:
// Openness vs. protection
// Autonomy vs. connection
//Novelty vs. predictability
Openness vs. protection
People want to be open with partners
Also want to protect aspects of self
Communication privacy management theory
Individuals create information boundaries
Openness vs. protection communication rules
What individuals can talk about
How they can discuss such topics
Who should have access
Autonomy vs. connection
Intense connection may lead to pulling back
Pulling back reclaims autonomy
Novelty vs. predictability
Need for excitement vs. need for stability
Sustaining Your Relationships
Relationships survive by investing time, energy
Learn relational maintenance tactics
Provide support when others need it
Relational maintenance
Use of communication behaviors to:
Keep relationships strong
Ensure that each party is satisfied
Three strategies: positivity, assurances, selfdisclosure
Positivity:
Communicating in cheerful and optimistic fashion
Doing unsolicited favors, giving unexpected gifts
Assurances:
Emphasizing importance of partner
Showing that you see secure future together
Self-disclosure:
Revealing private information in interpersonal communication
Self-disclosure can foster intimacy
Supportive Communication
// Make sure the person is ready to talk
// Find the right place, time
// Ask good questions
// Legitimize, don’t minimize
// Listen actively
// Offer advice cautiously
// Show concern, give praise
Defining Conflict
Conflict:
Begins with perception
Involves clashes between goals or actions
A communication process with several stages
Selecting an Approach to Conflict
Avoidance: not managing conflict
Cumulative annoyance
Caused by routinely avoiding conflicts
Repressed resentment grows, explodes
Pseudo-conflict
Incorrect perception of conflict
Accommodation:
Abandoning goals for others’ desires
Depends on your power in the situation
Ability to influence resources, people, events
Competition
Two defining characteristics:
Open, clear discussion of conflict
Pursuing goals without regard for others’
Elements of competition
Escalation
Rise in emotional intensity, unproductive communication
Can develop from competitive approach
Kitchen sinking
Hurling accusations irrelevant to disagreement
Collaboration
Most constructive approach
Treating conflict as mutual problem-solving challenge
Often results in compromise
Everyone modifies goals to find solution
Conflict Endings
Separation:
Terminate communication contact
Can take many forms
Technological, physical, communicative
Domination:
Influencing others to abandon their goals
Compromise:
Change goals, actions for compatibility
Integrative agreements:
Generate creative solutions
All sides keep and reach original goals
Structural improvements:
Change rules to prevent further disputes
Conflict brings positive reshaping of relationship
Barriers to Constructive Conflict
Attributional errors:
Creating explanations for why things happen
May prevent objective judging
Destructive messages:
Perceive others as uncooperative
Blame others for conflicts
May say things to escalate conflicts
Sniping
Communicating in negative way, then leaving
Sudden-death statements:
Conflicts spiral to relationship-ending declarations
Termination not previously considered an outcome
Dirty secrets:
Secret kept to protect feelings
Revealed during conflict
Cultural differences:
Perceive, approach conflict in different ways
Collectivist cultures
Seen as personal attack, disruptive
Individualistic cultures:
Comfortable discussing disputes
Often compete or collaborate
